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You Have Me Addicted To My Phone

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You Have Me Addicted To My Phone

Chapter 1: the beginning

junglecock has added pinkbiatch, paintingswithtaels, grapesucc, ridejimin, yoongayaf and hoesuccsdicc to the chatroom

junglecock has named the chatroom ‘ma bitchez’

junglecock: hey dickheads

pinkbiatch: im sorry but where tf am i?

grapesucc: What is all of this? I’m so confused. Have I possibly been previously acquainted with any of you before?

grapesucc: Oh hey Jungkook!

paintingswithtaels: i dont identify as a bitch i actually identify as liam payne’s shimmy in best song ever

ridejimin: new phone who dis

ridejimin: rather who dese

hoesuccsdicc: lookie here so wheres the porn i was promised

paintingswithtaels: thIS IS A PORN gC?!!!11!

hoesuccsdicc: **** wrong chat lol bye

pinkbiatch: ayo kook care to exbread?

ridejimin: wot m9

pinkbiatch: u kno cuz like pain is bread in french and like explain hol up nvm ignore me pls

pinkbiatch: care to explain

grapesucc: Or you could say exPrairie y’know?

hoesuccsdicc: delete urself off the world

grapesucc: I’m sorry. I’ll admit that was bad.

grapesucc: Also, I hate this name. How do you change it?

junglecock: did u just disagree wth the naming god? i give the best fucking names bitch you better not change it or esle i stg

ridejimin: he finally decides to arrive. now explain.

grapesucc changed his name to I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know

junglecock: tRiGeRRedddDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ridejimin:

yoongayafaf: wtf how do you have a picture of me you creep

ridejimin: wait is this u

yoongayaf: ****. now y’all know what i look like.

ridejimin: kookee sent it 2 me in priv chts i dint kno it waz u

ridejimin: kookie*

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: OUT OF ALL THE TYPOS OVER THERE YOU DECIDED TO CORRECT THAT?!

ridejimin: fite me yeasty bihtc

paintingswithtaels: i love you

junglecock: ‘scuse?

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: I’ve given up.

hoesuccsdicc:

junglecock: stop memeing me hoes

junglecock: ok i think i have some explaining to do

paintingswithtaels: ya think thunderfuck?

ridejimin: i love you too.

junglecock: im-

ridejimin: i would take that as a compliment. like my **** is so good like a greek god that there would be thunder yes zeus daddy

yoongayaf: actually just shut your mouth

ridejimin: im typing

ridejimin: my mouth is in fact shut but my fingers are at work (i use them a lot)

ridejimin: so wats ur point

yoongayaf: i’m leaving bye

junglecock: NO HYUNG DONT LEAVE LEMME EXPLAIN

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Speak before you are silenced for eternity.

hoesuccsdicc: nerd

ridejimin: once again, he is typing

pikbiatch: aye kook speak tf up i have a fucking facial in two and im not gonna miss it for a bunch of dicks

hoesuccsdicc: so i like suc myself?

ridejimin: once again, its typing

yoongayaf: look here you annoying bitch *** two second cummer who probably still watches porn on fucking bluray if i see you say that one more fucking time i will find your address, come to your house, and kill you while you are asleep. have i made myself clear?

ridejimin: …

ridejimin: ……..

ridejimin: …………

ridejimin: …………………

ridejimin: ……………………………………………………………………………………..

ridejimin: do you mean if i ‘type’ that once more/ also u cant rly see me thru a screen

yoongayaf: THAT’S ENOUGH THAT’S THE LAST FUCKING STRAW JUNGKOOK YOU LIL’ BITCH SEND ME THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S ADDRESS AND CREDIT CARD NUMBER SO I CAN RUIN HIS FUCKING LIFE

junglecock: calm down peeps

junglecock: so here is the explantation uve all been waiting for

junglecock is typing...

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Ex plantation? Why, did the crops fail or something?

yoongayaf: aye asswipe you wanna get fucking skinned?

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: I apologize.

yoongayaf: that;s better. i like you. fucking hate that ride guy tho

ridejimin: im rite here

yoongayaf: i know

hoesuccsdicc: kook wats taking so long for you to type

junglecock is typing...

pinkbiatch: my patience is running out by the second

paintingswithtaels: patience is a virtue

hoesuccsdicc: and pinkbiatch is a **********. jesus stfu

paintingwithtaels: ouch. wait are you serious

hoesuccsdicc: yo art kid duh dont ya kno wat a joke is

pinkbiatch: yes actually

hoesuccsdicc: wait wat

junglecock is typing…

pinkbiatch: long story, ive never actually told anyone this

junglecock: so i made this group chat to compile all of my friends into one chat room to

organize my texts cuz they’re all messed up and i sent bieber’s nudes to my grandma once and

im really popular so i have to keep track of all the texts i get jic i miss one

jk i aint popular but i am jk. anyways, i thought about it and i felt like you all were very similar to each other yet polar opposites at the same time and if i made all of you talk, we could all actually get along very well. and who knows, maybe one day we will all be this tight knit group of frens who hang out with each other and enjoy each other’s company, drink beer and shit like that. hence, this group came into existence.

hoesuccsdicc: speaking of long stories

yoongayaf: can i find this ted talk in vid format?

ridejimin: get along with that guy^? never

yoongayaf: the feeling is mutual

paintingswithtaels: well im not really comfortable with new ppl, kook. you know that.

junglecock: i know hun but i thought you could use some socialising. get out there, make some frens

paintingwithtaels: idk kook im really weird and stuff. you guys might not like me at all. you might hate me. and i might not like you guys. what if u guys make me really left out and i end up feeling like an outcast and never say anything. sorry but im just not good at socializing

hoesuccsdicc: hey dw we’re here for u

pinkbiatch: aww bby dont be uncomfortable im not that bad i swear

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Hey, friend, don’t you worry. I don’t really know the others but although they may come off as outlandish and bizarre, they don’t seem like bad people. As for me, I’m just your local nerd who is desperate for friends so trust me, I will hang on to you. Don’t stress yourself out too much and just be yourself, that’s the best you. And that is the you we will like you for.

pinkbiatch: i am suddenly attracted to you

hoesuccsdicc: spoken like a true dad #nothingbutloveformypresident

ridejimin: my man je suis not creep we’ll deffo get along

yoongayaf: i may come off as rude but hey man i like ya. i like u all. except him^

ridejimin: i curse you to never be able to suck my ****

yoongayaf: thank you for the blessings

junglecock: see babe? they aint so bad. trust me u’ll fit in just right

paintingswithtaels: alright, i could give a try

hoesuccsdicc: that’s the spirit

junglecock: i’m so proud of you tae

ridejimin: hun, babe and now what looks like a cute nickname. do i smell a relationship

paintingwithfriends: no lol we’re just frens