Chapter 4: Sex Education

pinkbiatch: y’aALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

ridejimin: JINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HOW HAVE U BEEN LONG TIME NO TALK HUH

junglecock: authornim has exams, forgive them

ridejimin: who?

junglecok: nvm

hoesuccsdicc: ITS BEEN SO LONG

junglecock: ITS BEEN SO LONG

pinkbiatch: WE MUST BE FIREPROOF

ridejimin: ONE DIRECTIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN I FUCKING LOVE THEM

pinkbiacth: BITCH ME TOOOOO

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: You know they are never getting back together, right?

pinkbiatch: BE GONE NON BELIEVER

ridejimin: YOU DO NOT KNOW THE INTENSITY OF UR WORDS JIN STAB HIM

pinkbiatch: OMW

yoongayaf: oh my word?

pinkbiatch: no grandpa its on my way

yoongayaf: oh okay

paintingswithtaels has entered the chatroom

junglecock: TAE UR ONLINE HI

paintingswithtaels: hiya kook has life been treating you well?

junglecock: i have assignment on top of assignments on top of assignments on top of assignments so yeah not that gr8 rly

ridejimin: i feel ya brudda my bitch of a biology teacher gave us 36 pages worth of assignments to complete by the end of the week

yoongayaf: you’re feeling him? man, jimin, get ur hands of tae’s man

ridejimin: wtf

hoesuccsdicc: hyung he feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels him like he relates

yoongayaf: oh

paintingswithtaels: what a grandpa hyung haha

yoongayaf: hey i may sleep for 12 hrs, constantly complain that my back’s hurting and not be able to read without my glasses but i aint no fucking grandpa

pinkbiatch: that sounds like the typicalest grandpa if ive ever seen one

pinkbiatch: also why do u care so much hmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMM

ridejimin: ok y’all now ur just stretching it

yoongayaf: because i want him

yoongayaf: i want him so fucking bad

ridejimin: WHAT ON EARTH YOONGI OPEN YIUR EYESSSSSSWAEJEJIWWKDJSJS

pinkbiatch: YOONMIN IS THE NEXT VICTORIA AND BECKHAM

pinkbiatch: but like a less hotter ver.

paintingswithtaels: WHAT A CUTE COUPLE

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: My dads.

junglecock: adopt me

yoongayaf: GUYS NO WAIT

yoongayaf: THAT WASNT ME

yoongayaf: THAT WAS HOSEOK I SWEAR

yoongayaf: THIS BITCH HONESTLY IF HE WASNT MY FRIEND I WOULDVE STABBED HIM REPEATEDLY WITH THE SWISS ARMY KNIFE I CARRY AROUND, TIED HIM UP IN MY BASEMENT AND WATCH HIM ROT IN THIRST AND STARVATION

paintingswithtaels: wow okay then

paintingswithtaels: guess i’ll never do that

yoongayaf: nah issokay ik you wouldnt in the first place and if you do well… i’ll go easy on you

junglecock: y’all did ya know hyung slept for 48 hrs straight once

ridejimin: sleep is for the weak

hoesuccsdicc: slept 48 hrs gay once u mean

hoesuccsdicc: hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha get it y’all

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Overused joke beaten to death.

pinkbiatch: ur on my list of ppl i wanna execute

paintingswithtaels: a joke as poor as me

yoongayaf: hoseok how do u have the ability to make everyone u know hate u in a matter of seconds

hoesuccsdicc: but guyssssssssss

ridejimin: he’s talented that way

junglecock: the only talent he will ever have

hoesuccsdicc: i dont DESERVE THIS ABUSE

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Also I guess I can change my username now considering I know none of you will kill me

yoongayaf: mhm

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Except Yoongi hyung of course. He’ll probably kill me when I least expect it, I can’t even shit in peace anymore.

yoongayaf: fair enough

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know changed his name to knj

knj: there

pinkbiatch: nah too boring

...hoesuccsdicc changed knj’s name to spreadeaglejinfucker...

pinkbiatch: muchh better :).

pinkbiatch: ps namjoon looks hotter irl

junglecock: how tf would you know

paintingswithtaels: YOU GUYS MET EACH OTHER?

junglecock: wait WHAT

spreadeaglejinfucker: yup

ridejimin: WHAT SO COOL

pinkbiatch:

paintingswithtaels: namjoon ur so handsome!

paintingswithtaels: and jin hyung perfect as always

pinkbiatch: thanks babbes!!

junglecock: look at joon trying to be kool with his sunglasses lol what a loser

ridejimin: the contrast between the two of you

spreadeaglejinfucker: I’ll have you know that is called “style”. Also, blame Jin hyung, he made me do it.

pinkbiatch: be honest u wanted to have me right there that day

spreadeaglejinfucker: Hmm… I don’t know if I should answer with complete honesty

ridejimin: honesty is the best policy

spreadeaglejinfucker: honestly, i wanted to lay him down, tie him to my bed, drip candle wax all on him and then suck his cock really fucking slowly and get every inch of it and then slam into his asshole

pinkbiatch: endearing and kinky. i like that.

hoesuccsdicc: anyone else notice how namjoon NEVER capitalizes wen he talks about jin hyung

yoongayaf: his brain is too fucked by the thoughts of fucking

paintingswithtaels: OMG OMG OMG OMG THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING PARAGRAPH I HAVE EVER READ

paintingwithtaels: and hyung

paintingswithtaels: candle wax?!

paintingswithtaels: wont that just hurt hyung?

pinkbiatch: oh tae lil baby let mama teach u something

junglecock: DONT U DARE FUCKING TAINT HIM ALSO ONLY I CALL HIM TAE BACK THE FUCKING TRUCK UP SUGARPLUM DONT LISTEN TO ANYTHING HE SAYSS

...pinkbiatch and paintingswithtaels have left the chatroom...

junglecock: o no

spreadeaglejinfucker: We’ve lost him

hoesuccsdicc: yoongi hyung just looks pissed holy shit

yoongayaf: if jin tells him anything i stg

ridejimin: aww so protective cutie

ridejimin: woops autocorrect meant to type ugly

hoesuccsdicc: okay NIW

hoesuccsdicc: YOU TWO ARE DEFFO MESSING WITH US

hoesuccsdicc: ONE SECOND Y’ALL SAY U HATE EACH OTHER AND THE MEXT MOMENT UR CALLING EACH OTHER CUTIE AND ESTABLISHING A DADY BABY BOY RELATIONSHIP WTF IS GOING ON DILDOS

ridejimin: nothing

yoongayaf: absolutely nothing

pinkbiatch: have you both met as well? must have

yoongayaf: nope

ridejimin: well…

ridejimin: i did like drop my books on his feet and then pick them up and run away apologizing

ridejimin: just realized it was yoongi

yoongayaf: first its hyung for you

yoongayaf: second so youre the blonde streak because of whom this happened?

spreadeaglejinfucker: Woah hyung, are you okay? That looks painful.

yoongayaf: shouldve seen it without the bandages it was all swollen and purple

junglecock: how did u walk to classes

hoesuccsdicc: i had to help him until he got crutches

hoesuccsdicc: jimin, speak up for urself.

ridejimin: o my

ridejimin: HYUNG IM SO FUCIING EMSORRY I DIDN TMEAN TTO I LL DO ANYTHING TI REPAY U TELL ME WHAT DO U WANT

spreadeaglejinfucker: Ironic how you’re doing medicine to cure people and you just hurt a poor civilian

ridejimin: NAMJION SHUT UP

yoongayaf: i want an apple watch

junglecock: are u fucking kidding me

hoesuccsdicc: go easy on him he’s a college kid ffs

ridejimin: OKAY HYUNG ILL GET IT FOR YOU

hoesuccsdicc: i had to doubletake im sorry but WHAT

hoesuccsdicc: CHIMIN ARE YOU TAHT FUCKING RICCHHHHH

ridejimin: an apple watch is nothing

junglecock: TWO DAYS AGO U WERE COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW U COULDNT FUCKINF AFFORG A CHIPS PACKET

ridejimin: hyung this one okay?

yoongayaf: hol up kid i didnt think u were serious

ridejimin: i am serious

yoongayaf: um woah okay get the band as black pls

ridejimin: kayyyy

ridejimin: where should i come to give it to yiu

yoongayaf: im at work rn come to block b at noon tomorrow

ridejimin: ofc hyung

yoongayaf: are you surrrrreeee this is real

ridejimin: i just spent 700k won on your goddamn *** does it look like im kidding

spreadeaglejinfucker: Oh my god Jimin! Where the hell did you get the money from?!

ridejimin: i have my ways

junglecock: i rly hope this isn’t some breaking bad shit

ridejimin: it isnt dw ill tell yall when the time is right

ridejimin: also btw where tf are jin and tae

pinkbiatch and paintingswithtaels have joined the chatroom

junglecock: LOVE WHAT HAPPENED WHAT DID THE SUICIDAL SUCCUBUS TELL YOU

paintingswithtaels: well

paintingswithtaels: a lot

pinkbiatch: chill he’s a grown up now

junglecock: JIN HTUNG HOW FUCKING COULD YOU

junglecock: CANT U JUST ALLOW THE SIGHT OF SOME INNOCENT BEING SETTLE IN OR SOME SHIT

yoongayaf: Jin.

yoongayaf: What did you tell him.

pinkbiatch: he wanted to know more

junglecock: stop lying

paintingswithtaels: no guys

paintingswithtaels: stop hating hyun

paintingswithtaels: i told him to tell me more

junglecock: baby he didn’t make you uncomfortable didn’t he

yoongayaf: Tae if he said anything wrong I will cut him

spreadeaglejinfucker: Sorry to interrupt but like, capitalizing is supposed to be my thing?

hoesuccsdicc: yoongi hyung only capitalizes when he’s pissed

paintingswithtaels: guys its okay really thanks jin hyung

pinkbiatch: anytime

junglecock: HYUNG WHAT ALL DID U TELK HIM

yoongayaf: Jin, why

paintingswithtaels: i know you guys care about me and all but could you just stop it. i'm sick of being treated like a goddamn child. i’m an adult, guys, a twenty two year old adult. can you please just leave me and hyung be?

yoongayaf: if you’re okay with it then i have no reason to be mad at him

yoongayaf: i’ll stop

junglecock has left the chatroom

ridejimin: is jungkook fucking kidding me?

hoesuccsdicc: he’s acting childish again

yoongayaf: oh wtf unnecessary drama

pinkbiatch: i didnt know it was that bad

spreadeaglejinfucker: It wasn’t really. Jungkook’s just overreacting a bit.

paintingswithtaels: dw guys ill handle this

paintingswithtaels has left the chatroom

pinkbiatch: guys im sorry i didnt know you guys would get so pissed

hoesuccsdicc: no jin hyung don't worry issokay rly

ridejimin: tae’s an adult now and tbh it was kind of wrong of jk to always keep him in the dark about things like this

yoongayaf: apparently it takes more time to mature when you dont know stuff like this

yoongayaf: kook is dramatic ignore him

pinkbiatch: guys i didnt tell tae much but the kid didn’t even know what *** looks like, he’s never even masturbated. to me, that's concerning

ridejimin: that's okay i guess i mean surprising but okay

yoongayaf: that's normal, right?

spreadeaglejinfucker: Not really. He doesn’t have the appropriate sexual education which could be dangerous.

hoesuccsdicc: hopefully, this gets better by tomorrow

HEY GUYS I'M VERY SORRY 😅😅😅 FOR UPDATING THIS LAST.....I HOPE YOU GUYS FORGIVE YOUR POOR CUTE AND INNOCENT AUTHORSHIIII 🤧🤧🤧🤧😅☺️☺️💜💜💜AND FROM NOW ON I'LL UPDATE MY STORY REGURELY 🤗🤗💜💜😘😘😘

LOVE YOU ALL 🤗💞 AND SEE YOU IN NEXT CHAPTER 😘😘 TILL THEN BYE-BYE 😉😉

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