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You Have Me Addicted To My Phone

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Chapter 3: what a daddy

ridejimin: can u atleast introduce yourself so i know who my stalker is

yoongayaf: hell nah imma go last

paintingswithtaels: can i go last please? it’ll make me a bit more comfortable y’know

junglecock: ofc angel u go last

junglecock: that's okay right hyung?

paintingswithtaels: is that alright?

yoongayaf: ofc man whatever makes u feel comfortable. i’ll go befor you okay?

paintingswithtaels: thanks ^-^

yoongayaf: :)

junglecock: woah. i have never seen yoongi so sOFT

yoongayaf: just becuz im sweet to him doesnt give u the permission to drop the honorifics

hoesuccsdicc: this is the first time ive seen an unironical smiley emoji from him

ridejimin: that's sweet

pinkbiatch: do i sense… affection

ridejimin: no u sense repulsion

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Currently you both are similar poles of a magnet repulsed by ignorance but one day, mark my words, you will attract each other by being the opposite poles of love.

pinkbiatch: preach

yoongayaf: ew physics

ridejimin: ew physics

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Look, you even typed the same things at the same time.

hoesuccsdicc: so gay

hoesuccsdicc: not you yoonmin

hoesuccsdicc: namjoon is so gay

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: I am in fact very gay

pinkbiatch: same

yoongayaf: same

paintingswithtaels: same

junglecock: same

hoesuccsdicc: lol cant relate i like chicks and diccs

pinkbiatch: fair enough

ridejimin: speaking of being gay, should i introduce myself

paintingswithtaels: mhm

ridejimin: it’s park jimin. i was born on the auspicious day of october 13, 1995. so im currently 22. i like blue i guess. i wanted to take arts but i ended up taking medicine instead because i wanna help people in everything i do. im a vegetarian. my hobbies include dancing, singing and sketching.

hoesuccsdicc: dancing? wouldn’t we get along very well

paintingswithtaels: jimin is such a nice name

junglecock: guys jimin can sing rly fucking well

junglecock: oh and also, good news for yoongi hyung, has rock hard abs

junglecock:

hoesuccsdicc: i wanna suck ur ****. like rly bad

pinkbiatch: CAN U WORK WIHT ME WE NEED SEX GODS LIKE U

ridejimin: im sexy and i know it

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: You took medicine for helping people? That’s sweet. Just a question though, isn’t healthcare fee the second leading factor of debt?

ridejimin: i do wanna work in Canada solely because of that, y’know, with the free healthcare and all

ridejimin: but imma have to get fluent in english quick

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: That’s great! Hey, if you ever need help in English, I could teach you.

junglecock: yup, joon taught himself english by watching friends for fucks sake

pinkbiatch: sexy voice and SMART?!! i need u in my life

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Have me.

hoesuccsdicc: i’m so jealous of this smart bitch

junglecock: stfu and go play tennis

hoesuccsdicc: okay then

ridejimin: thanks for the offer namjoon! ill consider it if coaching doesnt work out

yoongayaf: i think u mean inauspicious day. having u in our world is tyrannical.

ridejimin: counting the days down to ur death ihy.

ridejimin: also now go on stalker why dont u tell us about urself as well

yoongay: min yoongi. 9th march. 24. liberal arts. black everything. rapping, composing music and woodwork.

pinkbiatch: we all knew about the woodwork part after u saw that pic of jimin

junglecock: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH JIN HYUNG ILYSM

paintingswithtaels: haha ur so funny jin hyung

paintingswithtaels: also no kook u only love me

junglecock: ofc baby

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: He must be good at computers. His software turned into hardware.

pinkbiatch: AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA THATA IS FUCKING HILARIOUS IM DYING

hoesuccsdicc: bet he was fapping to jimin. i heard weird noises coming from his room last night

paintingswithtaels: huh?

junglecock: wot

ridejimin: woah too far. masturbating srsly?

yoongayaf: hoseok

yoongayaf: for ur kind info

yoongayaf: i was watching a fucking war documentary

hoesuccs: sorry cant tell the difference between u moaning and someone dying

ridejimin: oh thank god

pinkbiatch: hoeseok u made him sound like a real creep ther y’know

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: You ruin everything (except of your mixtape).

hoesuccsdicc: why does everyone hate me

yoongayaf: cuz u suck

hoesuccdicc: ****

yoongayaf: die

hoesuccsdicc: love you too

hoesuccsdicc: also y’all here is a cool pic of us

ridejimin: damn hot

ridejimin: hobi are u the one on the right?

ridejimin: because if u are

ridejimin: then DAMN PAPIIIII

ridejimin: LOOK AT THAT DRIPPING SEX APPEAL CAN I PLZ CALL U DADDY **** UR SO HOT

ridejimin: I WANT TO MEET U AND SEE THOSE FLAME HOT EXPRESSIONS IRL

junglecock: here we go againnnnnnnnnnnn

yoongayaf: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH FINALLY

ridejimin: whats so funny dumbfuck’

hoesuccsdicc: jimin... that's not me. that's yoongi hyung

ridejimin: oh god.

ridejimin: oh no.

ridejimin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY DOES THIS ASSCRACK HAVE TO BE HOT

yoongayaf: HAHHAHAHAHAAH **** YEAH NOW YOU CANT BLACKMAIL ME HUH BITCH YOU CALLED ME HOT BET U WANT MY ASSCRACK

ridejimin: i hate myself so much

yoongayaf: now u know how i feel

paintingswithtaels: dont hate urself ur so cute and sweet tho its not worth it

ridejimin: aw tae ty

ridejimin: i could say the same for u. ur adorable

junglecock: stfu

junglecock: tae, pumpkin, its ur go

paintingswithtaels: my go?

junglecock: introduce urself

paintingswithtaels: oh yeah shit

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Don’t worry dude. We like you already.

ridejimin: cmon tae ur gonna kill it

pinkbiatch: take ur time

pinkbiatch: or should i say taeme

pinkbiatch: **** wrong timing (or taeming)

yoongayaf: shut up hyung

hoesuccsdicc: we love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

paintingswithtaels: heyaaa ^-^|

paintingswithtaels: hey y’all|

paintingswithtaels: hello friends|

paintingwithtaels: hi.

paintingswithtaels: my name is kim taehyung. there’s not rly much to say about me.

junglecock: go on

paintingswithtaels: im 22.

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: What’s your major?

paintingswithtaels: i’m an art major.

hoesuccsdicc: when’s ur bday?

paintingswithtaels: 30 december, 1995

ridejimin: ayee 95 liners. what about ur hobbies

paintingswithtaels: just fine arts rly.

pinkbiatch: whats ur fav color

paintingswithtaels: i just like all of em.

yoongayaf: tae u sound so cool. tell me more about ur art. why do u like it? whos ur fav artist? any reason?

paintingswithtaels: i like art because it helps me express my feelings that considering the environment that im currently in, im usually not able to propagate. when im in front of a canvas however, im able to splash out any colour and express, create, control. the canvas is mine, its destiny is mine. i can make it sad, happy, angry, whatever i want to. it gives me sweet release. the colours that i use can help me communicate without using words. i dont like art, i love it, i need it. not just painting but sketching, caricature, anything i can manifest with. my favourite artist is van gogh because he says he felt the same and i relate to him so much. he would get inspired by the things that happened around him and expressed his inner thoughts through painting.

junglecock: wow. tae i am so proud

yoongayaf: was that hard? to tell us about what u love?

paintingswithtaels: no

yoongayaf: did introducing urself seem easier

paintingswithtaels: yes

yoongayaf: do u feel like u can trust us even though we haven’t met

paintingswithtaels: actually… yes

yoongayaf: then why were u so afraid?

paintingswithtaels: i didn’t think u guys would like me back

yoongayaf: we do tho. we like u a lot. i am so fond of u in particular already. tae, the shell uve created for urself is so unnecessary. break it. dont let it trap u. and u’ll see for yourself how amazing u truly are.

paintingswithtaels: … thank you.

yoongayaf: anytime. just for u.

hoesuccsdicc: there it is, the yoongi i love the most, the yoongi that made me his friend, the yoongi that's hidden deep within

hoesuccsdicc: and hey tae. ur fucking cool. never be afraid of who u are

pinkbiatch: **** the haters. there will always be ppl who judge. u dont have to care

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Tae you sound profound. I would love to have coffee with you and chat about philosophy sometimes.

yoongayaf: if ur brave enough, could u send us a selfie? we want to give a face to that lovely person

paintingswithtaels: ....

paintingswithtaels: sure. why not

paintingswithtaels: i dont have any pics of me tho

junglecock: dw nochu gotchu

junglecock:

ridejimin: taeeeeeeee hunnyyyyyy u adorable munchkinnnnnn u have nothing to be ashamed or afraid of because u are so awesome and so cute and u dont even realize it

pinkbiatch: u chocolate skinned bitch u look so cute

yoongayaf: u look beautiful. hmu if u want pics of u cuz i rly wanna take some.

hoesuccsdicc: HOT DAMN U ARE A MODEL

I Would Put My Real Name Here But You Could All Be Serial Killers For All I Know: Taehyung you are very attractive. Wow.

junglecock: see tae? it was so easy. they love you

paintingswithtaels: thank you so much guys. i feel… at ease now. especially u yoongi hyung. maybe i should be a bit more, social.

junglecock: u should sweetheart

junglecock: also thanks yoongi hyung. u brought out the best of him

yoongayaf: he reminds me of myself sometimes

ridejimin: damn, im gonna have to say yoongi, im impressed

yoongayaf: i know but you seemed more impressed by my “sex appeal”

ridejimin: WE WERE HAVING A SWEET SENTIMENTAL MOMENT JESUS ON A MOTORBIKE COULD U HAVE NOT JUST LET ME SAVOUR IT