Episode 4
The episode properly opens on February, 23 2024 Floor 35: The Lost Forrest. Silica is with her Party. She is arguing with on of its leader named Rosalia.
Rosalia
Come on, Silica. I need to increase my leatherworking. Just hand over the Dragon, already.
Silica's pet Feathered Little Dragon, Pina, speaks and gets defensive on Silica's head.
Silica
I can't believe I have to explain why you can't SKIN MY FRIEND!
Rosalia
And I can't believe I need to explain why I need leather pants.
Party Member
C'mon Silica. *Slightly pervertedly* Leather paaaants.
Rosalia
Hey, if it'll make you feel better, I can make you a pair, too.
Silica
I DON'T WANNA WEAR MY PET, YOU MONSTER!
Rosalia
Well, there's just no pleasing you, is there?
Silica
Screw this! I don't need you! I'll form my own Party!
Silica dissolves from the Party and walks away.
Silica
It's just gonna be me and Pina and it's gonna be awesome!
Cut to Silica being cornered by a group of Drunk Apes in Forest of Wandering.
Silica
This is not awesome! This is the opposite of awesome! Okay, Silica, calm down. You can do this. You've got Pina. Pina, Heal!
Pina heals a tiny sliver of her health.
Silica is immediately slammed into a tree by one of the Drunk Apes.
Silica
*Groaning* Pina... Heal!
A message reading "That ability isn't ready yet" appears in the corner of Silica's view.
Pina
Ful, losei Dovahkiin.
Silica
*Sighs* That's okay. You're doing your best. But I'm not doing so hot. Do you think you could... h-hold them off for a second?
Pina flies toward one of the apes, which bashes Pina to the ground.
Silica
Alright, well, I-I didn't mean a literal second. But you couldn't know that.
Pina's health goes to zero and she starts glowing.
Silica
Oh my goodness. Pina... Are you evolving?
Silica
Yes Pina! Evolve into a beautiful Dragon and we'll fly through the night to freedom!
Pina dies and shatters, leaving only a feather. Apes close in, as she turns to them.
All the Drunk Apes suddenly die, revealing Kirito behind them. The image of him suddenly becomes sparkly, and surrounded by roses.
Kirito
*Deep prince-like voice* Are you unharmed, my lady?
Kirito
*Normal voice* I said could you stop staring at me? It's creepy!
The episode fades back to the same scene, Silica is crying. Kirito is staring at her awkwardly.
Kirito
Weeelllllll, I can see you got your own thing going on here. Don't wanna intrude. I'll just find myself a spot that isn't full of crying children. Oh, look! There's one now!
Silica
Aren't you gonna ask me what's wrong?
Kirito
Yeah, I'm not pulling the pin on that grenade.
Silica
You're right. I'm sorry. This isn't your fault.
Kirito has a flashback to the last episode.
Sachi
your fault- your fault- your fault- your fault- your fault- YOOOOUUUUR FAAAAUUUULT.
Kirito's psyche shatters.
Kirito
WHAT'S WRONG, LITTLE GIRL?!
Silica
Well, I guess it all started when I was born. My mom was a bit of a drinker. And nine months sober? That was just not in the cards...
Kirito makes a long sigh as Silica's talking. We hear a grenade pin getting pulled followed by an explosion.
Fade to them at the restaurant. Silica is still talking and you can hear Kirito banging his head against the table off-screen.
Silica
And then those gorillas showed up and attacked me. But thankfully, Pina stalled them long enough for you to save me, and then, you know the rest.
Kirito
God, do I ever! I can never un-know! These brain cells could've been used to formulate the perfect strategy to get us out of this game! Instead, they've memorized what kind of crayons you liked to eat when you were 4!
Silica
I liked the purple ones.
Kirito
Yeah, I know! "And the blue ones were too tart"! *Groans* If I tell ya how to resurrect your hamster, will you leave me alone?
Kirito
Kid, no language on Earth has a word for how little I care. A quantum super-computer calculating for a thousand years could not even approach the number of fucks I do not give. The friggin' heat-death of the universe could not-
Silica
Are you gonna tell me, or not?
Kirito
Eh, sure. Whatever. Allegedly, the Dungeon on the 47th Floor, called "The Hill of Memories", drops an item that revives pets.
Silica
Oh my goodness! Really? Well, let's go get it right now-
Kirito
Upbupbup, cool your jets, Zippy. There's more to it than that. For one thing, the item won't work 3 days after death. And since you just spent the last 7 hours making me consider the pros and cons of a lobotomy via soup spoon, I'd say you got your work cut out for ya.
Silica
Oh no! Well, let's get going! We've got no time to lose!
Kirito
Yeeeaaah, about that...
Cuts to them walking outside.
Silica
What do you mean you're not going? I could die on my own!
Kirito
I believe I made myself clear about my number of fucks and willingness to give them.
Rosalia
Silica? Oh my god! How are you!
Rosalia
And where's your little Dragon friend?
Rosalia
Aw, that's too bad. Did you at least manage to make some good pants out of her?
Rosalia
*Sigh* Such a waste.
Kirito
She's right, you know. Dragon leather is surprisingly comfortable.
Silica
Kirito! That's not funny! I'm gonna get that item and revive her, for sure!
Rosalia
Oh, "Kirito" is it? Are you her new teammate? That's adorable. It's so nice to see Silica found someone on her level.
Kirito
*Deadly serious* What?
Rosalia
Oh, no, no. It's cute. I love the whole "tough guy" persona you've got going on there. Very convincing. I'm sure you'll have no problem clearing "The Hill of Memories".
Silica
Actually, Kirito said he's not-
Kirito
*Tranquil fury* Come on, Silica. We've got a hamster to save.
Kirito and Silica walk passed her. Rosalia glares at them. She then smiles.
Silica
You mean you're gonna help me? Yay! Operation: Save Pina is go!
Cut February 24, 2024 Floor 47: Floria. Kirito and Silica teleport in. Silica goes to smell the flowers.
Kirito
*Laughing* So, uh, hey, uh, random question. Uh, you didn't hear anything... weird last night, did you?
Flash back to the previous night, with Silica on her bed hearing Kirito through the wall.
Kirito
*Crying* Sachi! Oh god, why couldn't I save you?! Why?! Ah, Sachi! SACHI!!!
Cuts back to the present. Silica blushes from embarrassment.
Silica
Uh, no. Definitely not. I'm, like, a super heavy sleeper, so...
Kirito
Good, good. *Clears throat* Yeah, sleep is... Sleep is good.
Kirito walks off and Silica follows him.
Silica
Sooooo... who's Sachi?
A Garish Gerbera grabs Silica and lifts her into the air. Silica screams. She pulls her skirt down to prevent it from exposing herself.
Silica
Kirito! Don't look up my skirt!
Kirito
Um, I think you have more pressing concerns.
Silica
Well, what do I do?!
Kirito
Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!
Silica
The power to believe in myself?
Kirito
Nooooo, a knife! Stab it!
Silica cuts the tendril holding her and makes an adorable battle cry as she preforms a plunging attack, killing the Garish Gerbera.
Kirito
Yeah, maybe you should stick behind me. You're so low level, you're aggroing everything in this place.
Silica
Oh, don't worry about me, Kirito. I can take care of myself.
She takes three steps and is immediately attacked my a monster under her feet.
Kirito
*Sigh* This is gonna be my whole day, isn't it?
Cut to "Much, much later". We see a flower bloom.
Silica
Kirito, look! There it is!
Silica excitedly picks up the flower and smiles.
Silica
YEAH- Wait, what do you mean?
Kirito
Well, I mean, we're gonna need, like, 50 more of these suckers. Then we trade them back in town for a gem, which give to this gatekeeper so that he'll let us enter another Dungeon, where we fight a series of Bosses to get the real flower.
Silica
That's INSANE! Who'd design a game this way?!
Kirito
You don't play a lot of RPGs, do you?
Cuts "Much, much, much later". The two of them are on a bridge heading back into town.
Kirito
Man, I thought we were done after that seventh Boss, but then BAM, there's number eight!
Silica
I just... I just wanna go home.
Kirito
Wait. Hold on, Silica. Do mine eyes deceive me?! Tis the fabled Word Tree of Gamagorath! Font of human knowledge, and devourer of souls! Quickly, child! We must spirit away before it- Oh my god! Will you just come out already?!
Rosalia emerges from behind a tree, her username was poking out from behind it the entire time.
Rosalia
Ah, your Detection Skill must be quite high for you to have known I was here.
Kirito
Rosalia?! Oh my god! How are yo- Oh god, wow, that's enough of that. Jesus, how do you put up that act up all day?
Rosalia
Oh, so you saw through me, did you? You're quite a clever boy to have figured out that I'm actually the leader of Titan's Hand.
Kirito
"Titan's Hand"? Wow, I thought you might be someone dangerous, like Laughing Coffin! Never even heard of you!
Rosalia
Laugh all you like. We're still one of the most feared Orange Guilds on the lower Floors.
Kirito
Ooo, impressive. You can frighten players that think Slimes are terrifying!
Silica
Have you seen their eyes?! They have no souls!
Rosalia
Ah, so quick with the snark. Of course, that's all you really have going on, isn't it? A witty retort to distract everyone from what you really are. A sad, lonely little boy with no one who loves him. Someone so dead inside, he'd use a child as bait to lure me out.
Silica
Mr. Kirito would never do something so horrible!
Kirito
Nah, she's right. I totally did that.
Rosalia
And to top it all off, you play the "tough guy". This invincible warrior you could never hope to be in the real world. Getting stuck in this game was probably the best thing to ever happen to you. But there's one thing this game will never let you hide. The one thing that's haunted you your whole life, that you can never escape... you sound like a girl.
Kirito
*Laughs* What? No, I don't sound like a girl. That's crazy! THAT'S CRAZY!
Kirito devolves into insane laughter.
Rosalia
Well, it looks like my work here is done. I do so enjoy our chats, but I really must be off. We'll be taking the Pneuma Flower now, if you don't mind.
Kirito
*Deranged* Really? Little old you is going to take it from us? That'd be a neat trick!
Rosalia
Indeed. But a magician is nothing without her lovely assistants.
Rosalia snaps her fingers and seven thugs comes from behind the trees, cackling.
Silica
Oh no, Mr. Kirito. There's so many of them! I'll back you up!
Kirito
Aw, that's adorable. You think they're a threat! Well, you just sit tight. Show's about to start! Careful, though. The first three rows are a ♪ splash zone. ♪
Kirito starts to walk toward the thugs.
Silica
What do you mean by that?
Kirito laughs maniacally.
Ghost 1
Um, boss? A- A thought occurs. This guy thought he was going up against Laughing Coffin, but he still just brought himself and a... small child. We sure we wanna mess with this guy?
Rosalia
Please! The boy's all talk! And now that I've broken him, he's not even that, anymore! He's nothing but a gibbering mess, grasping at straws!
Kirito
Ooo, another one of your famous theories! Tell ya what. I'll give ya the first shot. See how that goes!
Ghost 2
Boss, I think this might be a trap.
Rosalia
Enough! You're all Level 45, and there's seven of you! I think you've got this! Now, kill him!
All the thugs start assaulting Kirito. Kirito just stands there.
Silica
Oh no! I knew it! Rosalia really got inside his head! He's not even fighting back! Well, guess it's up to me to save him, or else-
Kirito's health bar regenerate to full.
The thugs stop attacking, out of breath.
Kirito
Man, you guys are out of shape. Really oughta do some cardio.
Rosalia
What are you idiots doing?! Quit screwing around and finish him!
Thug 3
I don't understand! We threw everything we had at him! How is he still standing?
Kirito
How? Well, it's quite simple, really. You see, GIRLY, you may think you got me all figured out. But there's one thing you didn't account for. My numbers... are bigger than yours.
Kirito's heath bar appears, revealing that he's Level 78. The thugs gasp.
Kirito
Funny thing really, get to a high enough level, and you're basically untouchable. My wounds heal faster than you can make them. We could do this all day, and you would not be any closer to beating me. Not that it wouldn't be fun. But I've got good news. You see, there's no need to wonder where your god is! 'Cause he's right here... *Whispered* and he's fresh outta mercy.
Silence, then one of the thugs weeps softly.
Rosalia
W... Well, way to prove my point, kid! Lording your Stats over them like some kind of god! Your strength is nothing but an illusion to cover-
Kirito dashes forward and slices her throat. Rosalia shudders in terror.
Kirito
*Whispered* I'm gettin' real tired of your first-year-psych-student bullshit.
Rosalia
Enjoy this while you can. It's the deepest you'll ever be in a woman.
Kirito
Yeah, well, you're dead, soooooooo... DAMMIT!
Cut to Kirito and Silica on a bed back at the hotel.
Silica
Soooooo... how are you doing?
Silica
Well, you did just kill someone. Doesn't that make you feel... something?
Kirito
Oh, feelings? Yeah, I don't have those anymore. Went cold turkey.
Silica
What?! You can't just do that! What's the point in living if you can't feel happiness, wonder, love...?
Kirito
Or the sweet taste of revenge! You're right, Silica! What's the point in living if I can't enjoy such simple things?
Kirito
You're a good friend, Silica. We should go on more adventures.
Silica
Um, I don't think so. Don't take this the wrong way, Mr. Kirito. I'm grateful for your help, but yoooou're, like, the worst person I've ever met.
Kirito
Is that your big plan here, huh? Make me feel feelings so you can cut me down a peg? That cuts deep, kid. But I respect that.
Silica
Yeah, that's kinda the problem. But, I suppose it'll all be worth it to have Pina back.
Kirito
That's the spirit. Let's get started.
Silica pulls out the flower and uses it on the feather. The feather glows, and it looks like it's working, but then the glowing stops.
Game Announcer
Item has expired.
The feather then explodes, much to Silica horror. Cut to black.
Kirito
I'm... sorry for your loss.
Silica lets out screams in rage.
Cut back to the room post Silica's rampage. Kirito has cut marks all over him.
Kirito
She took that well.
We hear Silica's scream again as the logo is cut to bloody pieces.
Comments
✰ thคຖthคr ✰
that would be really difficult for you to write such a long chapter.
2020-10-04
1