chapter 3

Simon:

When we return from hunting a few days later, I stop just outside the door. “She’s in there.”

Baz nods. “Do you want me to ask her to leave?”

I consider it for a few moments. “No. I think it should be easier since I’ve just fed. I think I can handle it, at least for a while.”

“Okay, but promise you’ll tell me if anything changes.”

“I will,” I promise, giving his hand a quick squeeze. He opens the door, and I sit on my bed. He tries to go to his own, but I don’t let go of his hand.

Baz sits down next to me, and after checking to make sure he doesn’t mind, Penny sits on his bed. She stares down at her feet, wringing her hands. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” she says, finally looking up. “You’ve been avoiding me. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, Penny, it’s nothing like that!” I rush to assure her. “It’s just… I can’t…” I look to Baz pleadingly. I can’t tell my best friend that some part of me wants to kill her!

Baz sighs. “Bunce, it’s not about you. Snow is just having trouble being around humans in general right now,” he says, giving her a meaningful look.

She gets a wrinkle in her forehead while she tries to decipher that. “Oh,” she says faintly after a minute. “I’m so sorry, Simon… I didn’t even consider that.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It won’t be forever,” Baz says. “He just needs some time to get used to his new… ‘life.’”

“Should I leave, then?” Penny asks, already standing up.

I gesture for her to sit back down. “I’m fine for now. I… I just ate.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh. How--” her voice cracks a bit. She swallows and tries again. “How was that?”

I shrug. “Strange. Different. It’s kind of disturbing if I stop to think about it, but if I don’t… It’s just like eating as a human. Blood tastes good. I don’t know if it would have as a human, or if my taste buds changed when I became a vampire, but… It’s not like it’s something disgusting I have to force down my throat.”

“I don’t know if that makes it better or worse,” Penny says, huffing out a small laugh.

“Neither do I,” I answer honestly.

 “Well, let’s put that aside for another day, then. Would you like to go get some… normal food?” she asks. “It’s nice to see you up and moving and talking. I’d like to see it some more.”

I look to Baz. He shrugs. “You still need real food, too. Now’s as good a time as any, since there won’t be as much… temptation,” he says, looking at me meaningfully.

I stand up, nodding. “Okay, then. Let’s go.”

We head out, Penny and Baz flanking me. When we get there, I’m pleased but somehow surprised when Baz stays with us, sitting down to eat next to me. We haven’t been together outside of our own room, really. It’s a nice change.

Another surprise is that all the food tastes as delicious as ever. My love for the sour cherry scones hasn’t been diminished. I expected things to taste differently, whether because of my new preference for blood or because everything about this place has been tainted for me. It gives me the strangest sense of relief when I bite into everything and taste the same amazing flavor. There are some things that, despite everything, have stayed the same.

I look between Baz and Penny, who are paying more attention to me than their own food, and a strange thought suddenly hits me. “You lied,” I accuse Baz.

He withdraws in shock and confusion. “What did I lie about?” he asks.

“You said I’d have x-ray vision!” I didn’t really believe it, of course, but it’s worth saying for the quiet giggle I hear from Penny.

Baz laughs, too. “Okay, I might have lied about that, but I was telling the truth about the superhuman strength and senses.”

“I know. I was really looking forward to being able to see through… things, though,” I say, looking him up and down with a smirk.

Baz turns bright red, and Penny laughs again, nearly choking on her cider.

Baz manages to compose himself quickly; I can never seem to keep the upper hand for long. When he does, he leans over to murmur in my ear, “You don’t need x-ray vision to see what’s under my clothes, Snow. All you have to do is ask.”

Now I’m the one blushing. I turn back to Penny so I don’t have to look at him, but she’s nearly in hysterics. I’m positive that she couldn’t hear what he said, but it obviously shows on my face. Her laughter has turned silent from lack of breath, and after a moment, I can’t help but join her. Despite the slightly mortifying circumstances, it feels good to smile and laugh again. One week may not seem like long, but it was longer than I would ever want to feel that lost.

We finish the meal, talking and joking, and I feel better than I have in what seems like forever. Afterwards, we split up, and Baz and I head back to our room. On the walk there, every bit of my new hypersensitive senses is focused on him. I lightly run my fingers up the back of his arm and revel in the way he tenses but says nothing.

The walk seems to take forever. When we finally make it through the door, I close it behind us and stare at him silently for a moment that seems to stretch on and on. Obviously, Baz and I are on the same page, because the stillness breaks and we lunge for each other at the exact same moment.

I grasp for his arm with one hand and his hair with the other. I can feel his own hands at my waist and the back of my neck. He licks into my mouth, and we kiss for a few minutes before I push him away gently. He looks confused, but it ends with my next push, which is much harder. I want to test the strength he says I have, and he seems to understand quickly. I shove Baz, and he lets me, stumbling back until he falls onto his back on his bed.

I climb on and hover over him on my hands and knees, the way I did that first night. He doesn’t even hesitate this time, pushing himself up on his elbows to catch my lips. I lace the fingers of one hand with his, pulling it out from under him, and he falls back again. My mouth moves, slowly, from his lips to his jaw, and then to his neck, where I can feel what remains of his pulse after we fed earlier. I focus on that spot, kissing and sucking. Baz’s head falls back, giving me easier access, and his hand tightens around mine almost painfully. I pull away, not bothering to try and hide my grin at the red mark that’s formed.

Baz pulls me back to him with his free hand. I kiss him for a minute, letting go of his hand and bringing mine to the top button of his shirt. I pull away just enough to whisper against his lips. “Can I?”

Baz smirks. “I told you, all you have to do is ask.”

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