"I'm really sorry Anak, I and your Dad doesn't have enough money to satisfy your needs and wants because we need to prioritize our current flooded debts and hospital expenses too for your sibling."
(Anak/nak- Tagalog term of a child, son/daughter, offspring)
"It's alright Ma, I do understand it. When will I go to Tito's place?"
"Next week nak. Your Tito also gives me money for your travel expenses from here to Cebu."
" Alright, Ma. Tomorrow, I'm just going to my school to get some important documents and I'll also let my boss know at the Coffeeshop that I will resign."
"Phew, I'm really sorry my Son."
"It's really alright Ma. Don't worry, I'll do my best to study there and I'll also look for a place to earn money to help you too so that your burdens at least will lessen a bit"
"Awe, I'm really lucky to have you and became my child! Thank you Nak. Yawn, it's already late, I still need to sell fish tomorrow morning so that I can go to Angel at the hospital right away. So I need to sleep. You too, go to sleep"
"Alright, Ma. Goodnight"
"Night² nak. Love you"
As the door closed my heavy breathing let out.
I can't help it, I am currently preoccupied with many things and battling with my mind.
Anxiety, envy, insecurities sipping my mind. Dragging me to unknown shackles that made me doubt myself.
What should I feel? Should I feel sorry for myself because I can't have what the others my age have? Should I blame them because they can't even give me my needs? But of course, I can't. I don't have the right to complain and to be selfish. I should be content with what I received.
If I want to have what I want, I need to work hard and sacrifice my time. Haaaah...life.
The night was peaceful and the sky was clear. The surroundings were also quiet and only whispers of the wind could be heard but I was restless.
Maybe it's also because of the problems that surround me and the anxiety of the new stage that I will embark on.
How am I going to start this? Can I do it? Can I survive?
phew, before my thoughts will worsen I decided to divert my mind to anything else. Ah right that girl, of course, I haven't seen that weird woman who always gets my attention for a week now. I don't even know why I am thinking of her, I don't even know her and am not acquainted with her.
Hay, whatever. I'm sure we won't see each other again since I'm going to Cebu to study there for a few years. I don't know, of all things and all the people in this world, why am I thinking to a vague person without even a certainty that we'll cross paths again?
Anyways, this feeling will soon pass, I'm just innovating.
Ah, the moon is rather dashing today as it is surrounded by shining stars. Did she also see it?
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