The step of love in my life - part 1

LOVE: We think about it, Sing about it, Dream about it && Loose sleep worrying about it.

When we don't know we have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what

to do with it. When we have it, we fear loosing it. It is the constant source of pleasure

and pain. But we don't know which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short

word, easy to spell, difficult to define && IMPOSSIBLE to live without.

“Love is a better teacher than duty."

- Albert Einstein

It was the mid of February 2006, I was standing with my friend Sunil on my roof

top. I had completed graduation in engineering and used to help my brother in his

business. Wanted to fly in sky, had high aims but my health seemed to be a big

deterrence in that. Me and Sunil used to talk about everything, politics, new trends and

girls etc etc etc etc. I was having a look on the contact list in his mobile and one number

that struck was of a girl named Sonia. I asked him who the girl was. He told me that she

was his classmate and now worked in airlines and also that it was very difficult to handle

her. Being little bit overconfident I told him that nothing is impossible.

Next day I sent her a message on her mobile phone “Hi. How are you?”

She called and asked “May I know who you are?”

I got confused and asked “Are you Maya?”, then simply kept the phone.

Maya being the name of my best friend in college struck to me in haste.

I again send a message “Hi, I am Sunil‟s friend, Can we be friends?”

She asked “Which Sunil?”

I replied “Your classmate in Masters”

She replied “ok”

Then I again asked her “Can we be friends?”

She replied “Yeah, as you are Sunil‟s friend, I am automatically your friend”

I was very happy and excited that day. It was mine first experience of a different

type of friendship with a girl whom I had never seen. Being physically not fit I had

always desired to be in company of a girl with whom I would have shared a special

relationship like any other normal boy of my age. It is the stigma of Indian society that a

person with any sort of disability is not accepted by a normal person of the opposite sex

as a life partner or as a special friend. But I was very much excited about the girl without

worrying about the impact of my disease on our relationship.

Next day I sent her message “Hi, how are you, how was the day for you?”

She replied instantaneously “Good, I am fine. What about you?”

I replied “I am also fine. Do you have any boyfriend?”

She replied “I am not that type of girl, so don‟t ever think like that.”

It made me laugh as every girl would say the same and was not at all surprised. At that

stage of life I was very hard hearted man, without love for anyone and not much for my

family even. I only thought of my own pleasures, at whatever cost it may be. I had no

idea that life was going to change and which would make me so soft hearted.

So I started interacting with Sonia very frequently but only through messages on

phone as I was too scared of talking to her directly and meeting also because I felt that if

we meet then she would have come to know about my physical condition.

She messaged me at 10 pm and asked “Where are you?”

I replied “I was busy finding job for me on internet”

She replied “Talk to me dear”

I asked “So, what do you think about me?”

She replied “You are a friend with whom I can share anything anytime and who

will be there by my side whenever I need”

This touched my heart and I am unable to express my feelings at that moment. I didn't

know what had happened to me that night, I was so happy without knowing reason for

the same. Everything seemed so so beautiful.

Life after that seemed so exciting and beautiful that I did not worry about my

health condition and consequences of the same. We used to chat through messages on

mobile phone for one month and I didn't know even how her voice sounded. I was

hesitant in talking to her and I think she also felt the same.One day my friend Rohit asked me if there was someone who could tell about the fare of

airlines as he had to go to Bangalore for interview. I said, “yes, one of my friends is in

airlines” and I called her.

I said “Hi”

She had not expected my call. So hesitantly she replied “hi”

I asked “one of my friends has to go to Bangalore, so can you please tell me the

fare”

She replied in a low tone “yeah, I will let you know tomorrow”.

I replied “ok”.

It was a strange experience of talking to a girl with whom I had good friendship but only

through messages. Through messages we came to know well about each other. We cared

for each other but on voice call it seemed as if we were strangers to each other. Next day

she called me up and told about fares of airlines and asked me to repeat what she was told

by her. I replied hesitantly but was not in order. She gave a laugh and cut the call. It was

a great experience that she shared her laugh with me.

I messaged her “your laugh is very beautiful”.

She replied “Thanks but I was very much scared while talking to you, don‟t know

why”

I replied “Me too, and that‟s why I didn't remember what was said by you.”

Then next day I called her and talked to her. Now I was bit less hesitant in talking to her.

I was feeling some energy in my body. I didn't know from where it came. I felt as if

some angel had stepped into my life and gave some meaning and strength to it. That night

she called me at 1am. I was very much surprised on getting call. We talked till 5 in

morning. She asked me about my family etc etc. I asked her to cut the call but she kept on

telling that she was not feeling sleepy and wanted to talk to me. That day I realised that

Sonia had something for me and she really cared for me. But I could not gather courage

to tell her about my health and about my inabilities. I was scared of telling her these

things as I was afraid losing her. For the first time I blamed God and medical science for

my sufferings.

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