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How come every time i think of everything is in good place. Somethings always happen. When you keep on thinking things you wanted but could never have.

I always thought everything is okay. Until reality slaps me in the face. A hard one to be exact. I always thought that everything is fine. But later on, i always have a hard time accepting it.

Having a quiet life for awhile makes me think that everything is normal and good. Though sometimes we encounter things that wasn't good at times. Everything is manageable. But there are times that will makes you question everything. Is what am i doing good? Is it okay to do this? Should i have done it? Should i have choose that path? Did i make a mistake by taking this path i choose?

Why do we have to face things we don't want to? Why do it have to be in times we didn't expect it to happen? I want to have regrets but the situation won't allow me. Whu did i choose this then?

I'm not happy at all. Why didn't i pursue what i want? Why did i have to be stuck in this place? Why didn't i run away from the start? Why did i have to be here in the first place? I shouldn't have listened to other people. I should have choose my own path from the start

I just have realized everything now. When everything is already unchangeable. And now i just know that regret is not even an option i could choose. I have to face everything that is presented to me. No regrets, regardless of what the outcome is.

Even if i want to regret everything, i can't. I have to endure this things on my own. Not to be seen by people around me. 'Cause if they do see it. They will just think I'm making things out from nothing. It's not that i don't want to share it to others. I just don't have the courage to do it and show it to them.

No one will listen and understand me anyway. So, why should i told them this? They will just look down on me more. They won't even think I'm suffering from those things. They will just say I'm having a tantrum, just like a kid do.

I want to runaway but i can't. It's like im in a cage and can't do anything. My heart felt numb from the pain. I want to cry but i can't. I want to live, but can't live either.

Do i have to wait for my death in order for me to ta scape this all? Though I'm sick. I can't even ask them to treat my illness. I have to find a way on my own, but it's hard for me to do that. When i can't even go wherever i want to go. They keep kn rubbing it to me that they have ailments but what about me?

They didn't even ask me if i was okay or not. What do im feeling at a the moment.

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