CHAPTER 4: AN HONOR

If there was something that I was certain by this point of life, it was the fact that I am indeed a self-destructive clown, caused mostly due to my innate dumb and impulsive soul. 

In short, I am dumb. 

Throughout all the four classes before lunch, I was engrossed in thoughts about Sherwin. So much so that I had hardly taken note of what went on during the four periods. 

Cursing my impulsiveness that caused me to act embarrassingly in front of Sherwin, I tidied up my desk for lunch. The bell had already gone off some ten minutes ago and most of the class had moved out of the classroom. Only a few people stayed inside who would also eventually go out as well. 

Lunch break lasted thirty minutes. Ten minutes had already passed yet Sherwin was nowhere in sight. Maybe their teacher was taking a bit while to finish the class…?

Leaning back on my seat, I decided to look out of the window by my side. The school ground was clearly visible from up there. It was buzzing with students who seemed to all hang out in groups or duos. I had always longed for a nice friendship in high school.

Suddenly, something caught my eyes. It was Sherwin’s classmates. They were all out on the school grounds. So, their teacher was not holding them up…? Then, why was Sherwin not here yet?

Or did he just take my words as a joke?

I should not jump into such conclusions. These were baseless. I took a look around the classroom. The previously few remaining ones in the classroom have also gone out and now, I was all alone inside this large classroom. 

Closing my eyes, I leaned back on my seat. Noises from the corridor outside flooded into my ears. As always, the corridors were crowded during break. However, inside this class, there was not a single soul except mine. 

It must have been due to my sleep deprived night the previous day that after just a few moments of closing my eyes, I fell into a mode of overall relaxation. As I was about to doze off, I heard footsteps coming inside the class. My eyes shot open and the first thing I saw was…Sherwin Lin. 

Gasping for air, he stood at the doorstep of the class, catching his breath while staring at me. He must have run here. A smile lit up on his face as he advanced towards me. 

“Why are your eyes so wide open? Did you see a ghost or something?” His question was followed by laughter. 

A laughter so genuinely rejoiceful…so much so that I could have it ringing through my ears every single day. 

“What…?” Was all that I managed to say. 

“Haha… you looked so surprised, it’s just that,” he said, “Can I sit next to you?”

“Sure.”

As Sherwin made himself comfortable next to me, I asked him, “Did you run here?” 

Sherwin laughed again, replying, “What gave it away?” 

“Everything about you. It is not like you were all relaxed when I saw you. You were panting hard. Must have run fast,” I answered, taking out my lunch for the day.

“For real…?” He mumbled before throwing another question my way, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah, go ahead.”

And the next thing he asked was something I , myself, didn’t have the answer to.

“Why did you suggest we have lunch together?” 

Saying ‘I was frozen’ would be an understatement. My heart dropped. 

“Just like that…I had something to ask you,” I managed to say. 

“Huh? Ask me something? What is it about—” He paused mid-sentence before continuing again, “Is that only cream bun your lunch?”

“It is.” 

There was silence. The deafening kind. 

“You should eat more. You’re an adolescent, you know…” He said. 

I choked on my food that I had only just taken a bite of. 

I got reminded of the several times my family looked concerned for me while I devoured the whole d*mn pantry and kitchen. I had a huge appetite that only my family knew of. I even went to a counselor to get checked for any possible eating disorder. However after getting tested, they came to the conclusion that I just had a very fast metabolism. 

But it was still a matter of concern for my family that someone could shove up anything and everything due to just a very fast metabolism. 

Back to the present, I nodded as Sherwin asked repeatedly, “Are you okay?” due to me choking and coughing like a tuberculosis patient. 

“You see,” I said, “I treat this as a snack. I have a really huge lunch when I get home.”

It seemed like Sherwin froze for a couple of seconds before continuing to whatever he was doing.

“I see…So what did you want to ask me?” Sherwin dragged us back to the main topic.

“First, why did you run here?”

“Oh, that… I was called to the teacher’s office and was running late for our lunch date–” He paused.

My exe stopped working as well.

Again, silence. Again, the deafening one too.

‘Lunch date’ Rang through my ears as now, this time, Sherwin started choking on…air?

This time I was the one to ask, “Are you okay?”

Oh, how the tables have turned…

“Yeah…I am alright,” Sherwin barely managed to mumble before catching his breath and stealing a couple of glances my way.

We sat there in silence, once again, with our faces flushed.

Coming to the conclusion that changing topics now would be the best possible thing to do, I said, “About what I wanted to ask you…”

“Yeah…what was it?”

“Sherwin, do you know that there’s a new assigned group project?”

With his mouth full of food, Sherwin nodded before replying back with just, “Yeah.”

“So what I was suggesting was that,” I took a deep breath before continuing, “we could maybe pair for the project. What do you think?”

Sherwin, who was munching industriously on his food, suddenly froze, once more. He felt like those un-updated old computers that would lag behind every now and then. After processing whatever I said, he looked at me with determination in his eyes, patted my shoulder and said, “It’s an honor.”

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