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Ummm hey? ,I am just an average everyday teen who is tired and lonely, i am tired of everyone's stuff and needed some one or something to dump all my emotional baggage, my family won't bother listening nor understanding, got no friends lol, and those who used to understand left cuz I fucked up, in my defense I am dumb and don't know how to react who to live and how to be friends.

So a while ago when I lost my final straw I started roaming on random websites and random chatting to random people trying to make friends and at least get mentally sane. One day while doing this kind of bull shit a person suggested me to write about it or talk to myself.

    Apparently I tried doing it both self reflection self talks and writing, I write to myself as well resulting in me getting mentally unstable.

I started to talk to myself and whenever I feel down i would text my own alternative I'd on Instagram and talk to myself, previously it was self reflection but now it's like I have two personalities ,both of my personalities hate each other that makes me feel self suffocated and made me hate myself and my craziness to another level.

So now I can't write to myself or else I would go insane, and I have no one to talk to, so I thought of wait why not I rather write it for the world to see and judge, while knowing for a fact that no one would even bother reading this.

Even though I have enough self consciousness of what I am doing and its consequences, I still end up doing the worst option I have

If anyone even bothers to read this then I am sorry man you're reading all my bullshit no fantasy it's just me writing my life my journal or something.

Again this for, u personal venting 🙏......

So starting with the start of my life, the day I was born.......

My sources are my parents, they told me these stories as I grew up, so I am pretty sure my sources can be trusted, it was 21 November 2006 my mother was going to give birth to me and my father came late into the delivery.

I was born and everyone was happy except my father, I was born a male but my father had no money to pay for the bills so he had to sell a van so that he can pay the hospital bills and my bills as I had to be kept in some sun type ,machine with sun glasses on , and I was told it was very expensive , and due to it heating up my body I had to also be kept in a cold environment resulting in me being kept in air conditioned rooms resulting as well in me being addicted to air conditioners ad was u able to sleep without it.

I won't bother much about it but I could say I was very expensive to my family for riyal, that I was considered well over a burden as a baby....

So I guess it was my fault of being so frail and have to be treated such to be brought up healthy....

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