chapter 1

“What did I do?”

Jungkook was laying on his bed, contemplating on this new foreign behaviour from his bandmate. Jimin had been putting more and more distance between them as of lately. Quite frankly, he even seemed rather bothered by Jungkook at times. As his act around Jungkook became colder and colder, Jungkook’s confusion amplified. But Jungkook wasn’t just puzzled by Jimin’s sudden change of persona, his own reaction to it also felt like a big riddle. He couldn’t understand why this was bothering him so much, when he should be feeling relieved. Wasn’t this what he had wanted from him? Some space. 

That being because, prior to this, Jimin was always invading Jungkook’s personal space and saying embarrassing things. He would constantly make him flustered with his over-the-top compliments and praise. He would even go as far on radio/TV shows, as to say that he wants to go on a trip or date with Jungkook, holding hands and what not. One time, he had even asked Jungkook “Why do I like you so much?” in a vlog.  

During those times, Jungkook couldn’t understand Jimin at all. Why would he say things like that? Why was he acting so strangely around him? He wished that he would just stop. But now that he finally did, Jungkook wasn’t happy at all. Instead of celebrating, he was keeping himself up late at night, trying to figure out the situation. Trying to find an answer to this bizarre new reality. He had to know why it was happening, and he had to fix it. He couldn’t stand Jimin being mad at him. He missed him. He missed his company and his attention. 

But why? This confused him even more than Jimin’s behaviour. Why in the world did he miss what he had always tried to escape? 

"Eh, whatever. What point is there in thinking about that? I just need to make him stop being mad at me. Then everything will be fine.” 

***

“Jimin! Good morning!” Jungkook exclaimed brightly as he entered the room with a friendly smile.

Jimin looked at him questionably. “You really won’t call me hyung huh?” he said, and rolled his eyes in annoyance. 

Jungkook felt like he had gotten shot with an icy arrow. Damn, Jimin really wasn’t having it.

“S-sorry hyung. Did you sleep well?”

“Whatever.” Jimin took his bowl of cereal with him to the living room, and turned on the TV. 

Soon, the other members started rolling in one by one to the kitchen to get some breakfast. Some of them followed the noise from the TV and joined Jimin on the couch. Jungkook could hear them talking and laughing in the distance. This led him to the conclusion that Jimin wasn’t just being morning-grumpy. He specifically didn’t want to talk to Jungkook. Jungkook sighed and thought to himself that he’ll just have to try harder. He was too afraid to ask Jimin about this, so this was his only way to handle it.

And so he tried his very best for a week or so to start conversations with Jimin. Although he did his best, even complimenting Jimin often, he kept getting shot down. Jimin would always manage to keep the conversation short, or start talking with someone else in the room. He didn’t show the slightest ounce of interest in what Jungkook had to say. Their longest conversations were purely work-related. 

After some time, Jungkook realized that simply trying to talk wasn’t going to cut it. Something else had to be done. That’s when he started doing something he had never done before; initiating skinship. “He can’t ignore this!” he thought every time he was about to touch Jimin in some way. Whether it was giving him a pat, messing with his hair, or playfully hitting him, Jungkook tried it all. Most of the times, Jimin seemed unfazed, as if he didn’t even notice. But since he wasn’t pushing him away, Jungkook took that as a small victory. 

“Yes! If he’s like this then he can’t totally hate me right? He’ll start talking to me soon again right?”   Jungkook was feeling hopeful and more daring. 

Feeling so confident one day, during an MV shoot, he was brave enough to give Jimin a back hug out of the blue. While Jungkook’s face looked sweet and content while he was latching onto Jimin’s body, Jimin was not looking as glad.

“What scene are we?” he asked in an indifferent, almost demeaning, way. As if they would never interact outside of work. As if they weren’t even friends.

Jungkook instantly lifted his head away from Jimin’s shoulder in surprise. and said: “The back hug scene!” in an attempt to ease him up. 

“Crazy bastard…” Jimin whispered under his breath and walked away, leaving an awkward atmosphere for Jungkook and the cameraman who had been filming them.

“Don’t worry, we’ll cut that last part out!” the cameraman assured him and chuckled awkwardly.

“What? Oh, yeah thanks…” Jungkook replied soullessly and left the spot. He found a fairly isolated place in the corner of the dark set, where he could be on standby. Sitting there, his thoughts were running wild. “Damn it! Things were going so well. Did I overdo it? Was it too soon? Ugh what’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t he like me anymore, why?!”

Jungkook felt like something was tugging his chest. He felt so hurt. He never thought that Jimin could make him feel this way. Jimin had always been there for him, through thick and thin. He had always listened to his troubles, and cheered him on. Always believed in him, and made him believe in himself too. Jimin used to make him feel so reassured whenever things seemed dark. In a way, he felt like home to him. Even though Jungkook was often overwhelmed by Jimin’s affections, his never-ending support had also been a big source of strength for him. Without Jimin, Jungkook felt a little lost. Like something was missing. 

Of course, his other members also cared for him, and were always ready to listen and help if he needed it. But sometimes, he didn’t need just anyone to talk to. He needed Jimin. There was something different about him. No one else could take his place. And it wasn’t just about that, he simply missed him in general too. He missed hanging out with him, he missed his quirks, his facial expressions, his voice...

“Okay everybody, places!” the director shouted and interrupted Jungkook’s train of thought. Well, the show must go on. His personal matters had to wait. 

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