I hate myself

CALLA'S POV

I could feel my heart bouncing in my chest was I really going to confess? What if he rejects me ? I could see that Derek was waiting to hear what I was going to say.

But for the very least I knew I had to tell him and get over with this. I needed to know my place in his life...

" Calla...'" he called me " I'm listening" he added

" ooh I'm sorry... what I want to say is that...I .... I.." it was hard finishing the sentence knowing of all the possible replies I was going to get " Calla" he called again

" I love you Derek....I ... love you" I said looking down . Finally i said it but... what will his answer be?

" w ...what? you love me?" he asked looking straight into my eyes

" yes Derek..I love you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life" I said trying to read his mind..what was he thinking was he going to reject me

" listen Calla I don't know what made you have this idea but...I see you as a sister..." before he could finish I interrupted " Derek I..." he stopped me " litsen....you and I can't be together. This is for our own good" at this moment I couldn't stop tears from falling I couldn't believe my worst fears coming true

" I treated you the way I did because you are a good girl ...you deserve attention love and care but..... not from me....you deserve someone way more better than me" he checked his wrist watch then came back to me " if my actions made you misunderstand me then I'm sorry.....let's just keep our distance from now... it's better for everyone" he stood picked his bag " bye Calla take care" he left . What followed was I leaning on the table and cried my eyes out ...my chest felt tight my mind had froze I couldn't think of anything at the moment

Five minutes later Janice came to the library I raised my head to see her sitting on the chair " should I say sorry... Derek....he left and asked me to send you home" she said looking at me with worries " will you be okay? can I do anything for you? " she added but I said no word " let's get going..it's almost midnight your aunt must be worried" Sha said standing up and holding my handbag " of...of all" my voice was hoarse and I could not speak well..

" what did you say?" Janice asked looking at me " mghh" I cleared my throat and stood up " I said she is the last personto even care about me" ...." let's go... it's your parents who might be worried" we got out and started leaving..I turned back and watched the building as it shined at night

This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life but it turned out not to be.i felt sick from the inside. Janice made sure I arrived home she said nothing on our way home... she knew me very well and she had just wait until tomorrow when I am ready to open up and express myself.

" thanks Janice you should also get going it's very late" I said as we stood outside our house "okay then take care and make sure you have enough sleep" she said as she gave me a good bye kiss and started going

" call me when you get home" I said " okay" she replied

I walked towards the door when I heard my aunt and uncle fighting. it's normal for them they have fights every now and then because aunty Jennie is pretty good money spender

l decided to go back into the yard and wait untill the quarrel was over. I sat there thinking of what just happened to me

DEREK'S POV

I knew I had done what had to be done..my heart sunk the moment I saw those beautiful eyes crying,but there is nothing I can do about it. She and I can't be together....huuuh what the **** she even had feelings for me..I admit it that part of me wanted to hold her close and kiss those beautiful lips of hers . I wish I could see that beautiful smile every morning when I woke up beside her...but even if I did I'm sure that happiness won't last long because.......I'm cursed and doomed to loose every one that is dear to me.

I'm sorry Calla but we'll have to avoid seeing each other from now onwards

CALLA'S POV

An hour had passed and I could still hear them arguing, they involved me and my parents in their fights. I don't know how I and my parents got into their fights

l decided to go to seashore, it wasn't very far from our house. I sat at the shore litsening at the beautiful sounds of waves crashing against each other. " l hate myself" the words came out of my mouth

" what's...." I stood up after seeing a green light emerging from the water.. later on a Lady dressed in wierd clothes was seen. She seemed weak and fell multiple times before reaching the shore " who are you" I asked her as she approached me

" it's too late...I can't make it" she fell down the moment she finished saying the words

" is she dead? " I asked myself

I have leave here it's not safe anymore but I knew I couldn't leave the lady like that so I called 911 and left. I arrived home and it was quite as if there was no one . I headed straight into my room and threw myself on the bed

Who was that woman...where did she come from? Before I could know it I fell asleep and dreamed of having a Jade ring in my handbag.

I remember to see a similar ring on that woman at the shore

I got up in the morning and went to check my handbag...damn it was there..the Jade ring was in my bag . How did it get in here?

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