Old memories

“ mom I need braces !” I yelled at my mom , after coming home . “ why , you look beautiful . The way you are !” She said .

“ nooo nooo nooo ! I need braces , everyone laughs at me !” I told her .

“ but honey , we don’t have much money !” She told me .

“ I know .... but ...” I stayed quite .

I don’t wanna talk more .

I know she was telling the truth .

Her and dad already have issues between them . She asks her brother to pay our tuition fees and others small stuff .

I haven’t eaten a chocolate in months .

And my cousin , whenever he brings snacks home , he has a habit of sharing his stuff with all .

I remember him bringing a chocolates at home one time , and he gave one to each of my sisters and me .

But after I finished , I waned more .

I liked the taste . I felt it’s creaminess , and I just wanted more , but I didn’t had the guts to ask for chocolates from him . So instead I lied .

“ mom , Adam didn’t share his chocolate with me , please buy me one too !” I begged and lied .

“ what ? This can’t be possible ... he can’t do that ..... lemme ask him !”

“ Noo .... I am telling the truth , !” I lied

“ are you sure !”

“ yes !”

Later she asked him , when I was not around .

Well that created a huge conflict at home .

We lived with my mothers brother .

And now , when I told her the lie .

And I was proved wrong , my mother Pulled me by my hair .

Called me dirty blood , called me names .

She even said , I would have never born .

Because of me , she was here .

Because of me , she couldn’t get rid of my dad .

I was basically the problem.

So I asked her to send me to the hostel .

That was the time and now I basically back . My cousin and my mother’s brother finally shifted to some other country .

And the home was just to us now .

Things were better , now my mom , just scolded me , and not beat me or pulled my hair .

I really wanted my life to have a better turn .

Later after the summer camp , our school started .

And a drawing competition took place .

Everyone took part in it , except me .

I didn’t have the beautiful crayons like my other classmates , and they didn’t allowed me to use it .

They called me a weak student even my teachers . I never spoke much in class . Never had friends to hang out . If that was even an option considered by my parents .

The thing was I was not weak , but tired . I woke up at 5 in the morning . Go for bus at 6 I reached my school at 7 and after a long hassle , I come back by 3:30 .... have my tutions at 4 I didn’t even had the time to eat , how could I afford to do my homework ?

And then my tutor scolded me , locked me up in the bathroom or in the basement , for not studying or didn’t do my homework .

And then she send me back late , so that my parents think , I studied a lot .

I usually come back bruised , and my mother used to say , “ you need to study more , and you’ll not be punished !”

Why was I punished ?

After reaching home at 10 ( yes at 10 .... I am not lying ) and doing the homework of school and tuition , the clock usually struck 12 .

My hands used to pain , my arms and body felt heavy .

and the routine continues .

I didn’t had pretty clothes .

I don’t looked petty because I was too skinny .

Children used to taunt me .

And even at tuition I was blamed once for Robbery.

No matter how bad I was , I used to lie , to escape but , was I the only one to do that ?

My tutor told me that I stole an eraser of her niece , and I told her I was not the one .

After a while , she called my mother and insulted her , told her , I was a thief .

And looked down on me and my mother .

And my mom , she slapped me , throwing me on the floor , I was shaking .

I was afraid that day , going home because my mother whispered in my ear , she gonna kill me .

Later my tutors niece found her rubber under the carpet .

And she yelled , that I put it there .

Why would need her eraser ?

I was never a thief .

I would never stole stuff that wasn’t mine .

Of course I’ll lie to my mother , so she could get me the same kind of stuff , the sparkly things , but I wouldn’t steal .

No one thought to apologize to me .

I never thought they they need to apologize.

They were older than me , and saw the world better than me .

They were right ! Right ?

“ what are you doing outside taatiya ?” My father yelled at me .

“ nothing !”

I came inside . Opening those old memories only gave me pain .

“ get to your room !” He shouted .

“ going !” I rolled my eyes.

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