Day 3

As soon as we walked in the house i was pushed on the wall and i felt hands on my neck.

I couldn't believe my own father was trying...to kill me?!

"You are just a disappointment! Do you hear me?!" He yelled, and of course i heard him, damn i almost became deaf.

He put more pressure on my neck and without realising it i was smiling.

"You really are a psychopath..." My mother said, looking at me with horror? I couldn't tell.

My father seeing me smile only put more pressure and that's when i felt it ...Was i really that close to leaving this circle i so much wanted? Did i really desired this? My vision began the blur and i felt something inside me...

Was it fear?

Was it sadness?

Anxiety?

I don't know and i didn't like it

I felt tears streaming down my face....Why? I wasn't sad, I wasn't heartbroken, i was "happy"

I would finally be free.

I started feeling the pain, the suffocation

It was such an ugly feeling, I loathed it...I want it to end quicker.

Why was it so hard to die? I wondered.

And then suddenly i felt down, and i could breathe.

I didn't look up and i heard them leaving upstairs.

I just stayed there, shocked to say the least.

My hand went to my neck and it hurted as soon as i touched it. I could barely breathe without it hurting.

Life is hard, life is boring, life for me is nothing.

I wanted a change, I wanted to die,I wanted an end.

After a few weeks i changed schools. The last year in highschool ended pretty quickly. It was normal for once, sure i got a few weird looks but that's all.

Now I'm ready for university.

Many things are bound to change in my life.

And it started with leaving "my" house. My parents didn't care, actually they were happy.

I felt a little sad....Even though they hated me and i probably did too deep down, but they were my parents. I was leaving home after so long, it was heartbreaking... They didn't look up and it only made me feel worse. I wanted to hug them for one last time, feel the warmth of their hug that made me feel safe when i was younger. They were my home, my happiness, my life.

"Hurry up and leave...."

My father said, and i felt my throat closing up. I just wanted a hug, a goodbye. Was it really that much?

I left, closing the door and walking away. Truth to be told i visited my home again but that was years later.

Anyway, i found a dorm room, a really small room. I didn't have a roommate.

Just a bed, a desk and a tiny bathroom. I could barely walk inside.

It was cheap, it was enough.

I laid down on my new bed, cold ,unknown. I looked outside the small window close to my bed.

I felt tears in my eyes, i let them fall because i would feel worst if i didn't.

Stars were my only company that cold night.

Now i am alone

No family

Certainly no friends