chapter one

‎"Let's, not see each again".

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‎As I turned away, a mix of emotions swirled within me. The decision had been difficult, yet necessary.

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‎"Sometimes, parting ways was the only path to finding peace and clarity". That's what they always say.

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‎But right now I don't feel anything close to that. I feel the opposite of it. I feel something like a rock pressing down on my chest and lungs. My legs aren't moving like they are suppose to . I felt cold, as if was coming down with something . At that moment , I remembered something I once said.

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‎Its a cold afternoon, I was watching a television show. There was an episode where the female lead was crying so hard because of a heartbreak. At that time, I thought to myself, if he breaks your heart, just move on. Why cry so hard over someone?.

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‎When I told my elder sister what I thought, she looked at me as if I had told her, someone she knew had died.

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‎"You're so heartless. How can you say that so bluntly , about someone else's emotions ?"

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‎Her words stung, and I realized that perhaps I had been too direct. I hadn't meant to come across as insensitive; I was just trying to be honest. I paused for a moment, considering how to explain myself better.

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‎"I didn't mean to be harsh," I said softly. "I just think it's important to be straightforward sometimes. But I understand if it sounded too blunt."

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‎She sighed, her expression softening slightly. "I know you mean well, but it's important to approach these topics with care. People are often more fragile than they seem."

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‎I nodded, but deep down I still didn't get it. I remember once seeing her cry because she fought with her boyfriend. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't know how. I couldn't comfort her because I didn't know what she was going through.

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‎I felt helpless, standing there with no words that could ease her pain. It was as if there was a wall between us, built from my lack of understanding and her unspoken emotions. I wished I could bridge that gap, find a way to connect with her in a meaningful way. But all I could do was offer my presence, hoping it would be enough to show her that she wasn't alone. Over time, I realized that sometimes being there, silently supporting someone, can be a powerful form of comfort.

Now here I am, trying so hard to keep my tears and dignity from falling any lower than they already have, as I walk through the parking lot. That very moment keeps repeating in my mind as if mocking me for not listening to what I have been told.

"I wish I knew". I keeping murmuring to myself as a walking.

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