Just Call it Love (Namjin)

I still remember the first time I saw him. I'm Kim Seokjin BTW oh! anyway...

My best friend  pointed out to his crush, the school idol. A tall and handsome guy with a perfect smile, a sculpted body which earned envy of anyone who looked at him, Jeon Jungkook was his name if you're wondering.

My entire reasoning told me I should be staring at him, the male God J-E-O-N. But for some unknown reason my eyes didn't land on him but instead on the guy next to him.

Standing less significantly yet with a natural smile which looked so fake that it made people want to beat him up.

He was running his fingers through his bed head trying to make it not look that messy but it ended a disaster and resembled a bird's nest. His friends next to him kept teasing him making him blush.

I dunno when was it that my eyes started following him. But my Days spent silently watching him was certainly the happiest Kim NAmjoon they called him. I can't imagine a a future without not knowing his name anymore.

His dorky actions, his goofy smiles, his serious looks, his embarrassed cough, and everything related to him, even how he walked or even breathed, became things I took great pleasure in observing.

It was an attraction I felt towards him, it wasn't anything special, just an ordinary force which seemed to pull my attention towards that certain someone.

Like I said, it wasn't anything special, But everything he did he managed to make them look special, atleast to me.

Days passed and the attraction grew, not even taking a break until it become a feeling which couldn't be described as a simple "I like you or I'm attracted to you"

If I were to walk up to him and tell him these words, then will he look at me like I do look at him?

Strangely enough even though I wasn't a coward who kept things to themselves, I was afraid for the first time to let him know how I felt.

Afraid to lose him even when he was never mine to begin with.

2years passed in the blink of an eye, surely what they said about "Time fly by quickly when you do things you love" I experienced first hand this time.

The end year came, something which I'd normally celebrate about.

But this time it neither brought me joy nor any others I'd normally feel, maybe it's a given cuz I am not normal no more.

As the end of the day drew near, my heart sank with the setting sun, as it meant for us to say goodbye.

If I told him of these unsettled feelings now, will he take even a moment to spare me a glance?

Regrets welling up inside me for being a coward. My legs felt heavy but I had to go to him.

As I walked past the intersection which had always been between us, suddenly a scene I had thought only existed in my dream suddenly came true.

In front of me walked the person I desired to see every single second of the day. He seemed to be looking for someone with his hair unruly and his collar open looking like a wild child, one wouldn't guess he was a teacher's pet with a monstrous IQ.

I noticed that His gaze had been shifting rapidly till it landed on me, and as if reading my mind he stopped to look at me.

A smile that I had always seen so many a times but not directed to me suddenly all became mine, he was smiling at me as if missing me.

Am I hallucinating? If so then can I please dream more?

As he started moving I suddenly snapped back to reality. I'm getting ahead of myself with my hallucinations again I scolded myself.

"maybe he's trying to ask me something" I thought

The letter I held which was written for him a year back was crumpled against my palm along with the reality that hit me.

As sad as it was he was already ready to depart, I didn't want to even help him find who he was looking for. Call me petty but I wanna be selfish.

Reluctantly giving him a smile which I had ever wanted to give to him since the beginning, I chose to bury the feelings deep within.

A goodbye befitting for a scum like me.

I would be a nobody, not even an underclassman he knew.

"Hey Sunbae! I wish you luck" I said but I couldn't see the expression he made because of the tears starting to blur my vision. How tragic shall this get?  I can't even see him one last time because of the damn tears that'd threatened to fall.

Turning around to leave I felt my heart sink.

The swift breeze seemed to be able to blow anything away but my heavy heart.

In the light breeze I caught a sweet illusion.

Someone calling out my name. It's a normal thing if you ask me, someone calling out to me, but the voice it belonged to was not a person who would call it out.

Not wanting to believe it yet being filled with expectations.

I turned to look back again only to find my tears rolling down freely as if it was a broken faucet.

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dududududu

if you wanna read more go to the next chap.😙

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