prologue

Have you ever noticed that if you could start a book from it's end,how every little thing that the characters been through, everything they believed, felt and hold close to suddenly stops making sense?

Its like having the perfect hoome then breaking it apart after the construction was over.

Don't get me?

Then why don't you take me as an example,sitting in my bathroom floor looking like a complete idiot as I glared at the leak in the pipeline making that annoying drip drip drip noise.

Exasperated,I breathed in a long gulp of air,calm down.

"I don't have money to call a plumber now."

Muttering under my breath,I sighed again,suddenly feeling exhausted. I have three months rent to pay..and electricity bill.Damn it,why does my life has to suck so bad?

Scrambling around the place,I grabbed a bucket and pulled it over the leakage and left the bathroom, it'd have to do till I figure something out.

Checking the clock,I twisted my lips in a grimace as I realized it's almost time for work.Well,no point in putting off the inevitable,I thought as I pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt(the same shirt I have been wearing for a few days now)

Frowning at the hole in the right sleeve of the shirt I thought,not this one too.most of my clothes are now tattered and in a really bad shape.

I'll figure a way out of that too,eventually.

Everything clicks into place, you just need to give enough time.

With that thought,I rushed for the bathroom.

When I was done with my daily brush-shower-shampoo-conditioner routine, I walked out of the bathroom and groaned.

This day can't get any better. As I looked out my window, I noticed an enormous layer of snow has covered every little trace of life outside like a extra large layer of vanilla ice cream.I scowled at the snow.

Then I looked into the clock to see I'm already running late and rushed for my clothes.

Standing in front of the mirror,I looked into the eyes of a person I no longer was accustomed to.

I would say that I know this stranger with skin too pale to be normal and eyes too big to seem human looking back me, but really,I don't.

It's all just so... Unfamiliar.

I wonder,is this person really me,or just a vague reminder of what I used to be.

Maybe I'm just one of the lost souls in the world.Too gone to fine it's way back again.

The once green eyes that held so much..life for is now lifeless.Without a soul.

Ever ripped a tree out of the mother nature,roots and all and watched it wither until it's all just grey and lifeless? Till all it's life is sucked out of it and all that is left is the lifeless bark and nothing but memories? That's pretty much how my existence is like.

Shaking my head from my sudden chaotic thoughts,I willed myself to stop thinking.

Get your shit together,Tri,nothing good comes out from thinking.

With another look at the outs,I thought,I'm gonna kick Ben's(my employer,in this case) *** if he doesn't pay me double for working in this weather.

Snorting,I rushed out the door.

That is so very unlikely to happen.

*********

It took me more than half an hour minutes to reach to Ben's, and by the time I was pretty sure that my hands have turned into ice and I can't feel anything.

Parking my BMW in the same place I've been doing for two and a half I have been doing,I started jogging towards the two storey building that's almost hidden in the alleyway, if not for the neon lights that says en's and I grinned as I noticed the B was hanging off it's spring.I almost closed the door till I felt tiny arms wrapping around my waist and put kicked the door open.

Phew. Breathing a sigh of relief as I realized the door hadn't hurt the tiny human clinging onto me,I crouched down.

"Hello princess."I tapped her freckled nose with my freezing hand and she squealed, laughing as she ran to the six feet three brother of her who at once pulled her over her shoulder. More squeals.

I don't usually like much noise,but when it comes to Evie,I don't mind her liveliness.

"Hello Tin Tin!"

I couldn't help the smile breaking over my lips as I trudged over to her and messed up her very red hair.

Seriously, it's like strawberry red.

"Yeah,you see Evie and you don't need me anymore huh?"

I rolled my eyes at Evan,and kissed Evie in the cheek,making her giggle more.

"Who are you?Do I know you somehow?"

Raising one eyebrow,I tilted my head at Evan,who was laughing along with Evie.

"You're one hour late.Ben will be enraged if he knows. He'll.." he needn't finish the last part.

Cut off my salary..I know.

"I'll get back inside now...see you around.Drive safe,you two."

I waved at them before rushing inside to get my apron. After about five minutes of yanking at the locker, It finally opened with a bang, and I was rushing inside the sliding doors without really looking at anything. However, my feet faltered as I was stepping inside. I sometimes tend to forget that I work in a club,which is a not-so-good thing when you have social anxiety and you don't like sounds.

I could feel a panic attack bubble out of my chest as I stared at all the people filling the place. Too many people, too many sounds.The DJ started playing an high bass electronic music and I could almost feel my skin start to crawl.

I tried to breathe a huge gulp of air but then I could see the people all around me and I wanted to run away.That was my built-in mechanism. People start meditating, or whatever, I run. Coward.

Calm down,Trin. It's just music, and people.

However, I didn't have the chance to run. I'm not so sure if that's a good thing or not thought.

I sighed as my eyes finally adjusted with the dim lighting and I looked into the fake plastic blonde in front of me.

Oh.

That's all it took,the sight of Plastic Blond and(of course) a glass of tequila on my apron to break me from my stupor.

I stepped back as she spread her witch-long nails,in front of my face,I'm not sure whether to wrangle my neck or not.

I didn't wait around to see it for myself,fortunately.

Ignoring the high pitched voice as much as I can,I rushed inside to clean it.I was giving myself a pat in the back mentally as I realised who-cant-be-named followed me in here when I heard her high pitched voice right behind me.

If only I were that lucky.

Jesus Christ..how are my eardrums still intact?

I swear if you drag your nails in a chalkboard,that irritating sound is her voice.

"..When are you gonna stop trying to harass me?"

Wait.What?

I stared at her,incredulous. Harassing her?Me?

Even the thought of it is just..just.

"You're delusional." pulling the apron up and over my head,I washed it in the tap.

"I don't know what I did to offend you,but please don't try to make life worse for me."

She even shed some crocodile tears too and for a tiny moment, I wanted to clap for such a good acting.

Was she in the drama team in high school? How else can she play the deer-in-headlight when she was the one who dumped her drink on me?

I stared around myself to see many people has already stopped dancing and looking in our direction.

Great. Just what I needed. More attention.

I don't know what's her problem,but I could tell she doesn't like me. I'm perfectly okay with that,I don't expect everyone to like me.

Okay,okay,I was okay with it,until she started playing dirty tricks with me, like the one today.

the annoying smirk in her face,I could tell she was doing it to tick me. It was working,I could feel my temper rising.

Control your temper,Rivers. Don't let her have the satisfaction of making you pissed.

"....you can't act hostile to others and still get away with it! also you wasted a special drink!"

Hold on a minute.. hostile attitude?

Is she fucking kidding me?I kept my mouth shut as she kept on screaming how she will complain about me intentionally wasting her time.

I'm sure she would.Being a bitch all day is all she is good at.

I sighed. I've sighing a lot lately.

When is this gonna be over?

As if listening to my prayers, I heard someone screaming from the other end for plastic blonde to stop bothering the staff and get her job done.

I looked back at the source of the sound to find...ahhh.

What's wrong with this day?

I thought as I looked at George Flores,one of the quietest guy of our staff.You would think all of the bartenders are extroverted and like gossiping,but the reality is quite the difference.

I wonder if he's just introverted,or did something happen in his life to make him quiet,but I guess I'd never know that.Not that I'm particularly interested it anyway.

I sighed as plastic blonde cursed under her breath at George, and throwing another death glare that I skillfully dodged, and went back to the hell she came from.

I couldn't help the relief washing over me at her departure, and when I looked at where George was to thank him.he was already gone.Of course. That's so him,he never waits for a thank you.

Talk about weird day...

*

"I ran into plastic blonde today.."I whispered into the ears of Venus Morrison as I grabbed a pair of beer from the bar stack.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me!"

With a surprised squeal,she slammed the bottle of whiskey so forcibly I'm surprised it didn't break.

Gee. Too much of her being not excited about gossip.

I smiled,that's what makes her..her. That liveliness, that spark of life in her eyes as she gets excited is so fascinating.

She's the biggest Gossip-girl around here,but she's as well the closest to friend I've got in my two years life.And probably one of the most precious thing I appreciated in my life.

"Yeah, plastic blonde toppled a glass of tequila on my apron-"I glared at the spot it left in my apron.

"I'll cut off her pretty hairs when she sleeps."She stood up,excited to mad in a fraction of second.

Shaking my head,I carried on, "-and as usual,she threatened me of getting my salary cut and complaining to Ben."

I smiled as I looked at my best friend curse at plastic blonde's audacity.

Winking at her,I started uncorking the bottles.

"But the strangest thing is.. George chased her off today.Literally."

Grinning at her open mouth, I nodded.

"I know right.It's just so weird. He didn't even wait for a 'thank you' or even a 'I owe you one'."

"I'm surprised that he talked to anyone at all..I haven't heard him talking to anyone, except for times when he really needs to.."

That's exactly what I was thinking,but eh.whatever.

If he doesn't feel like talking,he shouldn't.

I remember I didn't want to talk after that..and I didn't, not until a week or two.

Shaking my head at my thoughts,I looked back at V to see she's now gawking a guy over the door.

That's good,I guess.

I haven't told her about my past life, and for once she didn't ask.she gets it that I want to keep it that way.

"I need to get something checked, will be back." With an exaggerated wave of germs hand,V excused herself.

As I walked around the people, delivering the drinks,I smiled to myself.

At first,I when I was nothing but a newbie here,I didn't like anything of Ben's.I didn't want to work here.The people, the noise,the alcohol,everything was too much for me.

This is what I've always feared, and being terrified about.

It's not that I've forgot everything..but the high bass sounds,all these people around me, the sound of people laughing and even the smell of alcohol all around me is a huge distraction..Aside from the occasional panic attacks, of course. Some things never change.

Like the scar in my mind,I thought ,then made myself stop thinking about the area 51.

Redirecting my attention to how much I have made today, I grinned.Ever since the new real estate project has taken place in the next block, we're getting a hefty amount of tips thesedays. I collected enough money to call a plumber and fix the leak In the pipeline.Looking around the place,I noticed what a mess it is.

I sighed.More work.

I swear the sweeper does it intentionally, just so that she can piss me off more and she knows I will clean up her mess.

Well,no point complaining about it.picking up a plastic bag I got down to business.

***************

I didn't realise it was way past closing time, and the club was empty by the time I finished.

I'm not in any rush to go home anyway.

It's not like I have anything to do anyway, working is good. It keeps my mind off..unpleasant things. And as soon as I go home the thoughts that I try so hard to keep away from my mind will rush in again.

I didn't realise that I had company until Venus tapped my shoulder almost making me come out of my skin as I jumped.

"Oh..Oh, it's you." Panting like I just ran a marathon,I waved my arms in front of her like an idiot.

"Don't startle me like that, woman."

She tried to keep her face straight, but failed miserably and burst out laughing as I shook my head at her.

"I was just gonna say that it's late already," she pointed at the clock and nodded at me,"Don't ya wanna go to home now?"

"No. I'm fine.I'll be fine, and..don't worry, I'll close the shop.."

I looked at the walls,the carpet, anywhere but at her as I replied, "I think I'll stay here for a bit more-"

She tried to reason with me,"But it's not safe for you to be alone here at night and-"

"I'm fine.I just told you to leave me alone, now please.."

I regretted as the words flew out of my mouth, and I wanted to take it back.What did I just do?

She flinched as if I've just hurt her,kept the keys on the counter before walking out without so much as a glance my way.

"I.. I'm sorry, Venus.I didn't mean to.."I didn't get to say my sorry completely as the door slammed on my face.

"Goddamn it!"I whispered to myself as I stomped my way outside to the dustbin and threw the packet now full of bottles that made a jangling sound as I forcefully pushed it into the dustbin..

I was having a almost-normal day after a long time, and I go on thinking of my past and acting like a jackass to V when she was only trying to help me.

I was going to stomp my way back inside and close the shop when I heard it.

It was distant at first,but the sound of tyres screeching and horns blowing intensified as I stared at the...holy shit.

Is that a Range Rover I'm seeing in front of me?

Sure enough, the black Range Rover pulled over in front of me,or should I say that if I hadn't jumped away from in front of it, I'd be in hospital. Or dead.

My hand hit the hard concrete floor and I could almost feel the stones cutting into my skin as I watched the lunatic swerve by the club, barely missing the glass windows and hitting straight on to the dustbin I was just throwing stuff in..

The sound of plastic and glass breaking was heard over the loud purr of the engine as it turned off.

Thankfully,the lunatic driving the Range Rover didn't turn around and run me over too.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me!"I screamed at whoever was inside the car as I stood up and tried to get the grime off my face and hair.

My shirt.. well, it's in no shape to be fixed as I stood up completely, hands on hips.

Whoever was inside the car didn't think it was necessary for them to answer me so I stomped my way to the windowsill and knocked in it,then tapped my foot until the guy inside muttered something like "stupid bitches and their shit"

Ah.. excuse me,sir. I know how these rich brats are..they think that they can own anyone with their money, they expect everyone to kiss their ***!

I glared at the person inside the car again.

I think he's a guy, I'm not sure tho because the windows are tinted dark and he/she doesn't have enough dignity to pull down the windows.

I stood there for one entire minute, clenching and unclenching my fist as I glared at the ground.

Okay..so that's it. He isn't going to get out of the damn car, probably because he doesn't wants his ridiculously expensive shoes to catch dirt.. and I'm looking like a fool staring at a car that probably costs more than both my kidneys combined with grimes all over me..

I huffed.

This day is going great.. Fucking great.

Brushing my hands over my face again,I walked inside the club...Mr. expensive car can go **** himself.

I got stuffs to do, like clean all these shit off my face before someone accuses me of being a ghost or something..

After cleaning my face off the dirt and who-knows-what,I started towards my locker to get my keys and get the hell out of here.

Well,that was the plan, atleast.

It's funny how things just don't go according to your plans.

"What the ****?"

I heard a high pitched scream,it wasn't until later I realized it was me.

The voice,that is.

As for the reason behind it,I stared at the couch in the right end of the club.My eyes had the look in them people have when they see a ghost as I opened my mouth ,then closed it again. Nothing came out of my mouth.

What the major hell is going on?

Directing my attention to the strange guy lying on the couch,I closed my eyes,rubbed them violently like I was hallucinating and opened them again.Yep,he is still here. And nope,I'm not hallucinating.(I even pinched myself to check,and it hurts)

He's too tall to fit in the little couch,so his legs are almost completely dangling off the sides and by the way he's lying there, I'm sure he's uncomfortable.

Ahem.. earth to Trin?you should be calling the police now that some stranger is in Niall's bar,not observe he's tall and exactly how uncomfortable the couch must be.

Yet like the dumbass I am,I stood there and watched as the strange guy tried to move his feet and sit up straight,but instead of doing just that he toppled to the dirty ground and...looked up at me.

I don't know what is more strange as I stared back at him just as hard.

He's got one of those face that looks straight out of some magazine, handsome and so.. beautiful.

Seriously, what is wrong with me?

I don't know what is wrong with me today, maybe the connection of my head to my eyes finally snapped,or maybe it was my mind as I stared at his lips, pink and full like a doll..a sexy doll.My eyes tripped up his slightly misshapen nose that looks like it has been broken sometimes before,then his high cheekbones and finally rested in his eyes.

He's got those kind of blue eyes that makes you want to jump into them and never come back out of it.Black..nah,Blue holes. and not just any blue,indigo.

I shook my head, trying to clear the haze from my mind as I looked away from the strange guy at Niall's floor who's still staring at me like.. like he can see me. Like he's trying to see something deep inside my soul.

I'm sure that you would never be able to do that, stranger dude.

I don't know what I was thinking until now,but as I looked away from his eyes,the bubble seemed to burst and I started moving across counter to call Ben.

That was the time I heard it..or should I say him?

Looking back at the guy,now he's sitting cross legged on the floor, and he's.. what the ****?

He's laughing?

"Look, whoever you are, you need to get up and leave. The bar is closed."

My tone was clipped,I don't know if it was from panic or annoyance though. It annoyed the hell out of me when I feel like I am losing control. And by the way I'm tempted to check his profile again, I sure as hell was losing it. Fucking hormones.

There's no way I'm going to lose my mind over someone just because he's good looking, and by the looks of him something tells me that the Range Rover outside of Niall's is of this guy right here.

I'm not going to make the same mistake my parents did.Never.

He didn't stop laughing,but his eyes followed my movement as I snatched my phone from the counter and started dialing Ben's number.

I don't care if there's some hot drunk dude sitting cross legged in the club I work,laughing his *** off,I don't want any part of this mess.

"Don't call Ben..I don't want to talk to him,pretty girl."

My head snapped at the direction of the raspy voice and I was staring at his piercing blue eyes again...

I gulped hard, his eyes were rimmed with redness as he smiled at me,looking like a dear on headlights and for fraction of moment I felt my composure break apart.

I snapped back from my hormonal Fangirl and scolded myself, don't lose your head Tri.

And then with my iron resolve, I walked straight for him with the phone in my ear.

"Who are you?"

I sneered in his face, almost shoving him back into the couch.

I don't get why I'm so angry over him,but he just made me think of some shit I didn't needed, wanted to..so I want nothing with this guy.

I really don't need any more complexities in my life.

Maybe all the over working was finally getting to me

I need to stay faraway from this man,In case I did something drastic, like kicking his balls.

I slapped my forehead as a robotic tone replied that the address I'm calling is unavailable and to leave a voice mail. I end the call.

I was going to go to the other end and wait for Ben to call me,and keep watch over here.

But again,suddenly, he spread his arms wide as if he's going to give me a bear hug.

Thankfully,I realised just in time that he was trying to do just that...he was going to hug me, like I'm some frigging teddy bear of him!

****.****.****.

With my heart in my throat,I sidestepped his arms and moved backwards,or flew,I'm not sure which,until my back hit the countertop.

I turned back from him and dialed Ben again.No more waiting. I've had enough, if he picks up,good.If he doesn't, I'm leaving with the dude inside, whatever happens,we will figure it out tomorrow.

This needs to be over.Now. Ignoring the protests of the guy,I put the phone to my ear again.

His phone ringed once, twice then for the third time and when I was sure he wouldn't pick up,he answered the phone.

"Trinity.Do you have any idea what you're doing calling me at midnight?"

He sounds enraged,but his tone is laced in sleep, maybe he was sleeping.

I had this little moment of regret that I distrubed his sleep but as my gaze settled on the guy,now leaning into the couch for support half asleep,I decided priorities first.

"I'm sorry,Ben. It's just..that here's some strange guy in your bar..."

I trailed off debating over the fact that he has ordered Venus to close the shop, and she gave me the keys,I know I forced her to today but still..she does this everyday.

Will she be in some kind of trouble if I..say it to him?

"What? What did you say?"his voice came out neutral, void of any emotions as he said that.

But I could almost imagine him wrangling the towel he's used to do whenever he's enraged.

"Um.. There's some strange guy in your-"

He cut me off by saying,"I heard you fine the first time. Did Venus gave you the key again today?I swear if she did-"

This time I'm the one to cut him off,I know I'm such a shitty friend but I'd never allow my boss to punish my best friend over something I did..be it wrong or right.

"No sir,it was me. I asked to close the shop for today.."

I waited for him to scream at me,to curse at me that if I weren't this careless and closed the bar when it needed to be closed, this wouldn't have happened at all.

Nothing happened.

I waited some more for him to scream at me,but he never did.

When I was sure he's hung up the call,I asked,

"Uh.Ben?You there?"

He sighed,"Yeah, I'm on my way already. I'll be there by . fifteen minutes tops.But tell me,are you okay?He didn't..do anything to you, right?"

I couldn't help the nervous smile that broke through my lips,"Y-yeah,I'm okay.. Thanks, Niall.I appreciate.."

I was cut off by him clicking his tongue at me,"uh-huh. Don't be thankful of me, Trinity.Just remember that you should never be that careless again to keep the door open, alright?"

I nodded,baffled. I've always thought he is an I'll tempered guy,so it's a surprise for me when he acts so..cool.I expected him to lose his shit, seriously..but here he is.

"Are you sure ?"

Again,I shook my head at him,but reminded myself that he can't see me...

"No,he didn't. He's drunk..way too drunk. I tried to talk to him,but he's only talking jumbled shit and..he tried to uh,hug me."

I almost saw the blush creep over me before I felt it,but thankfully,he didn't comment on the "hugging me" part,but I noticed his low chuckle as he drove by.

"I suppose you're in..safe distance from him now?"

I nodded at myself,"Yes, I'm on the other end of the countertop,but.."I looked back at the now unconscious guy sleeping peacefully leaning into the stiff couch,

"He's asleep now.."

"Good.I don't want anymore problem with my staff's anymore."

A pause.

"Trinity?Can you tell me how he looks,or anything about him so that I can decide whether he's a threat to you or not.If you can, it'll help a lot...I can bring police along with me."

I stared at the sleeping guy again, his lips are in a smiling way as he snores slightly... and I had the strangest of feelings.

"..I don't think he's a threat to us.Um..He looks really rich, white skinned,he has blue eyes and dark brown hair."I look at him as I explained how he looks,"and oh,he has a Range Rover.Black."

If I weren't overly sensitive right now,I would've missed the string of curse words that left Niall's mouth.

I'm no saint and I curse like a sailor,but his would sure make bitches blush,tho I must say he tried to hide that from me.

"Range Rover,ah?"

I nodded, again scolding myself for my stupid actions, and replied with a yes.

"Now I have a idea who he is... I'll be there in less than five minutes now,just don't let him get out of the club, will you?"

I replied with a okay but he didn't wait for my answer as he hung up..

I stared at the broken ceiling for a two minutes time before I looked at him again, and I realised that..I wanted to help him.

I don't know where that thought came from,but I beat it into it's original place and sat patiently until Ben comes.

Someone said it right that you never know when,how and what will be the point your life would change drastically.

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