Profitable Heroics (Part 3: I Didn’t Sign Up for This.)

(Inspired by Accidental Hero – Featuring Money-Obsessed, Robot-Destroying, Totally-Not-a-Hero Izuku Midoriya)

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Step 10: Try (and Fail) to Reject UA’s Offer.

Izuku stared at the acceptance letter.

Then at the UA logo.

Then back at the letter.

"Nope."

He grabbed his phone and immediately dialed the number listed.

"Hello, this is UA High School’s Hero Course Admissions Office!"

"Yeah, hi," Izuku said. "There’s been a mistake. I didn’t mean to apply."

A pause. "Sir, you took the exam—"

"Yeah, for the paycheck," Izuku interrupted. "Not for the acceptance. So, uh, I’ll just take the money and—"

"I’m sorry, but you scored the highest in the practical exam."

Izuku froze.

"…What."

"Yes! With your performance against the Zero-Pointer, strategic precision, and rescue points—"

"That wasn’t a rescue, that was a financial investment—"

"—you earned a record-breaking score!"

"No, see, I think you’re missing the point—"

"Classes begin Monday! Congratulations again!"

The call ended.

Izuku stared at his phone.

Then at his bank account.

Then back at his acceptance letter.

"Goddammit."

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Step 11: Survive the First Day Without Committing Tax Fraud.

Izuku stepped into Class 1-A, deeply regretting every choice that had led him here.

The moment he walked in—

"OI, WHAT THE HELL?!"

Ah. Bakugo.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE, DEKU?!"

Izuku sighed. "Believe me, Kacchan, I wish I wasn’t."

"THEN LEAVE—"

"I tried."

Bakugo froze. "Wait. What?"

"They wouldn’t let me."

"You—" Bakugo stared. "You tried to decline UA?"

"Yes."

Silence.

Then—absolute chaos.

"YOU DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO BE HERE?!"

"WHAT KIND OF PERSON TRIES TO REFUSE UA?"

"HOW DID YOU EVEN PASS?!"

"I DON’T KNOW, I JUST WANTED THE MONEY!"

The class went dead silent.

"…The what?"

Izuku sighed, massaging his temples. "Look, I took the exam for the paycheck, but apparently hacking a Zero-Pointer gets you into UA."

"YOU HACKED IT?!"

"WITH A SCREWDRIVER?!"

Izuku blinked. "Yeah?"

"Bro, what the hell."

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Step 12: Aizawa’s Immediate Regret.

"Alright, problem children," Aizawa droned, stepping into the classroom. "Welcome to UA. Put on your gym uniforms and get outside."

Izuku groaned. More work?

"We’re doing a quirk assessment test."

"HA!" Bakugo smirked. "This is where we see who’s really cut out for UA."

Izuku rolled his eyes. "I already know I’m not cut out for UA, can I go home?"

"No."

"Damn."

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Step 13: "Quirkless" Does Not Equal "Helpless."

Test 1: The Ball Throw.

"Deku, go." Bakugo tossed the ball at him. "Try not to embarrass yourself."

Izuku sighed. He wasn’t super strong like the others, but he was very good at breaking things.

So—he threw it.

And it didn’t go far.

Izuku nodded. "Cool, I failed. I can go now—"

"*No.**"

Damn.

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Test 2: The 50-Meter Dash.

Izuku? Fast.

Not because of super speed, but because he knew how to run when people were chasing him for debts.

"Deku, why are you so fast?" Kaminari panted.

"Years of dodging telemarketers and credit scams."

"What the hell does that mean?!"

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Test 3: Grip Strength.

"Deku, why is your grip so strong?" Kirishima blinked.

"Years of dismantling machines for resale."

Aizawa just stared. "Do you… steal cars?"

"No, but I could."

"What the f—"

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Step 14: Profit Off the Confusion.

By the end of the test, Aizawa had many questions.

Izuku had one.

"So, uh," he asked, "do we get paid for these training sessions?"

Aizawa sighed. "No."

"Damn. What about sponsorship deals?"

"No."

"Hero brand merchandise?"

"…Are you trying to monetize your hero training?"

"Of course."

Aizawa looked so tired.

"Midoriya," he said, "you’re not supposed to be in this for the money."

"Then why the hell else would anyone do this job?!"

Silence.

"…You know what? Fair enough."

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Step 15: Accept Fate. (But Not Really.)

Izuku still didn’t want to be a hero.

But—

UA had free housing.

UA had free food.

UA had networking opportunities.

And if he played his cards right…

He could make a killing off of this school.

"Fine," Izuku sighed. "I’ll stay."

The class cheered.

Aizawa groaned.

Bakugo screamed.

And Izuku?

He started planning his first business venture.

Step 1: Sell UA-themed merchandise.

Step 2: Profit.

Step 3: Escape this life before anyone realized what he was doing.

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To Be Continued…?

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And there you have it! Izuku, against his will, is now at UA. But instead of training to be a hero, he’s treating this like a business opportunity.

Want me to continue with him monetizing everything while somehow becoming UA’s biggest success story?

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