Chapter 1: Troublesome Feelings

"Finally, I escaped that place!"

Vespera exclaimed, a mix of relief and exhaustion in her voice. Socializing was never truly her strength, but she often found herself navigating those social waters. While part of her appreciated the opportunity to connect with different people and learn their stories, it could be overwhelming at times.

Stepping out onto the balcony, she was immediately enveloped by the calming, quiet air—much like a refreshing breath compared to the bustling ballroom inside. As she leaned against the sturdy pillars, a sudden burst of laughter broke through the night, catching her by surprise. Peering down, she identified the source: her beloved fiancé, Zyran Henikstein.

His blue eyes, which always captivated her, shone with a brightness she adored. His black hair glinted softly in the moonlight, adding to his allure. Yet, the moment felt bittersweet. Zyran rarely displayed genuine joy, and seeing him so animated should have filled her heart with warmth. Instead, a wave of sadness washed over her as she noticed the girl beside him.

That girl was Alaida Milford, the youngest daughter of Count Milford. They had crossed paths several times, and Vespera couldn’t deny that Alaida was one of the kindest souls she had encountered in the realm of nobility. With her innocent demeanour and gentle spirit, Alaida seemed wholly untainted by the complexities of their world. However, Vespera was painfully aware that Alaida was also Zyran’s secret lover—a relationship known to many but never openly discussed due to Zyran's stature.

At that moment, Vespera's heart felt heavy. She genuinely wanted to see Zyran happy, yet it pained her to realize that his joy did not come from her. It was impossible to harbour resentment towards Alaida; she was simply too sweet and too supportive. Vespera recalled times when Alaida had offered help and encouragement, and that thought brought her bittersweet comfort. Letting out a long sigh, a wave of weariness washed over her. All she wanted was the solace of her home, where she felt safe and at peace.

Choosing to bypass the main entrance, Vespera took a quieter hallway to escape the crowd. She lacked the heart and energy to face any more social interactions after the emotions stirred within her. Lost in her thoughts while making her way back, she accidentally bumped into someone in the quiet, empty hallway.

“Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry—”

As she pulled out of her thoughts, she realized it was Emris Plutes, her closest friend.

“Emry? Where were you? I was looking for you in there the entire time!”

Emrys couldn't help but chuckle at the pout on her face. He smiled and said calmly, "I got caught up in my office with all the documents. I didn't mean to keep you waiting."

Despite their playful banter, he noticed how distressed she appeared. He wasn't sure if the sadness in her eyes was caused by that jerk or something else, but it still irritated him.

Vespera managed a weak smile, grateful for Emris's presence, even if it couldn’t fully lift her spirits. "You know how I feel about these gatherings," she sighed, crossing her arms tightly.

"I thought I could handle tonight, but I guess I was wrong."

Emris stepped closer, concern flickering in his eyes. "You don’t have to pretend with me, Vespera. I can see that you’re not okay. Is it Zyran?"

The mere mention of Zyran’s name caused Vespera’s heart to twinge, and she looked away, fighting back tears.

"It’s complicated, Emris. We've been promised to each other since we were children, but lately, it feels like that connection isn’t enough anymore."

Emris felt a pang in his chest, a frustrating mix of sympathy and unspoken feelings for her. He had silently watched her struggle, noticing how Zyran’s apparent happiness affected her.

"You deserve to be happy too," he urged gently. "It shouldn’t always come at your expense."

Vespera nodded slowly, overwhelmed by the weight of his words. "Being engaged to Zyran was supposed to bring me security, but what if he’s happier with Alaida? Sometimes it feels like I’m destined to live in his shadow, always second to someone he truly loves."

"You’re not second to anyone," Emris insisted, desperation creeping into his voice. "You have so much to offer, Vespera. You’re not just a name on a contract; you’re kind, intelligent, and capable. Zyran should see that."

"But does he?” she whispered, her eyes welling up. "I thought being together for so long meant something. Now, I find myself watching him share moments with Alaida that should have been mine, and I feel like I’m just… not enough."

Tears threatened to spill over as she quickly wiped them away, fearful of revealing too much vulnerability. Emris felt a surge of anger toward Zyran’s insensitivity, but he focused on Vespera’s pain instead.

"Maybe you should talk to Zyran," he suggested gently. "You need to know where you stand, even if it’s uncomfortable. Avoiding it won’t change anything."

Vespera shook her head, stepping back as anxiety overwhelmed her. "I can’t. What if I’m wrong? What if my insecurities are unfounded? He’s been good to me, and I don’t want to ruin that."

"But Vespera—" Emris began, but she interrupted him.

"What if I push him away? What if he really is happy without me?" The fear in her voice was palpable; the uncertainty of her place in Zyran’s heart was stifling.

Emris took a deep breath, feeling a mix of admiration for her courage and sorrow for her pain. "You won’t know until you ask him. You deserve to understand your feelings and what you want."

Vespera hesitated, gazing out at the ballroom’s entrance, where laughter echoed, mingled with envy and heartache. "I just... I don’t know if I can. What if I discover I mean less to him than I thought? I can’t handle that."

"I believe in you," Emris said, his voice steady and encouraging. "You’re stronger than you realize. I know this feels overwhelming, but you’ll find a way through it."

Bolstered slightly by his words, Vespera managed a small, bittersweet smile. "Thank you, Emris. It’s just hard to find that strength when everything feels so uncertain."

They fell into silence, the tension lingering between them. Vespera glanced toward the ballroom entrance again, her heart heavy with apprehension. "Let’s go back inside. I can’t hide forever."

As they walked down the hallway together, Emris felt the weight of his unspoken feelings for her pressing down harder. He wanted to express how much he cared and admired her strength, but he feared that anything he said would only complicate her already tumultuous emotions.

Just as they reached the doors, they unexpectedly swung open, revealing Zyran standing in the entryway. His brows were furrowed, and his gaze was fixed on Vespera. "There you are," he said, a hint of urgency in his tone. "I need to talk to you."

Vespera's heart raced, a mixture of anxiety and curiosity brewing within her. The air between them felt charged, and she suddenly felt a knot tightening in her stomach. What would Zyran say? What did he want from her? As she met his intense gaze, a sense of foreboding overshadowed her, leaving the night’s true uncertainties hanging in the air.

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