MIXED SIGNALS

Pagkatapos ng matinding sermon ni Daddy, pumasok ako sa kwarto ko at ini-lock niya ang pinto. Alam niyang baka magtangkang tumakas ako, kaya’t ginawa niya yun para hindi na ako makalabas. Sobrang sama ng loob ko. Hindi ko kayang magpatuloy na ganito, lalo na at hindi ko na kayang tiisin ang pagkontrol niya sa buhay ko.

Dahil sa sobrang frustration, hindi ko na kinaya. Agad kong kinuha ang phone ko at tinawagan si Amila.

“Amila, please, tulungan mo ako. Kinulong ako ni Dad sa kwarto! Hindi ko na kayang magtiis dito!” sabi ko habang umiiyak.

Kahit alam ko na baka magka-problema siya, hindi ko na alintana. Kailangan ko ng tulong. "I need to get out of here. I can't take it anymore."

Naramdaman ko yung tension sa kabila ng linya, pero mabilis siyang sumagot. "Sandra, okay lang. Wait for me, I’m coming. I’ll figure something out."

Habang naghihintay, pinilit kong maging kalmado, pero ang hirap. Naisip ko kung anong gagawin ni Amila, paano niya ako makakalabas. Pero at least may isang tao akong siguradong tutulong sa akin.

POV: Julius

Habang ako'y nagha-handa na umuwi, pumasok ang pinsan ko at nag-aya mag-inom sa bago niyang bukas na club/bar. Tumanggi ako, pero hindi ko na siya matanggihan. Pinilit niya ako, at sa huli, pinasok na niya ako sa sasakyan niya. Sabi niya pa, "Kung hindi ka sasama, magtampo ako." Wala na akong magawa, so sumama na lang ako, kahit na hindi ko talaga trip.

Pagpasok namin sa club, nakita ko ang pamilyar na babae na parang kaibigan ni Sandra. Oo, siya nga 'yon. Lalapitan ko sana siya para kamustahin si Sandra, pero biglang lumabas si Sandra mula sa CR. Nasa kalasingan na siya at sobrang ingay sa paligid. Hindi ko kayang lumapit sa kanya—hindi ko kayang makipag-ugnayan sa mga tao sa ganitong klaseng sitwasyon. How low class, hindi pwede!

Nakita ako ni Sandra at agad siyang lumapit sa akin, lasing na lasing. Puno ng mga lalaking maligalig sa paligid, at hindi na rin siya kayang kontrolin ni Amila, na lasing na rin. Kaya ako na lang ang nakabantay kay Sandra, habang inaaya pa akong uminom ni Sandra pati na rin ng pinsan ko. Hindi ko na kaya. Super late na, mag-aalas 10 na ng gabi, and I’m sure lagot to pag inuwi ko . Kaya naisip ko, doon na muna siya matulog sa bahay ko. Pinabihisan ko siya kay Yaya gamit ang damit ko.

Wala na akong magawa kundi siguruhing hindi siya magka-problema, kahit na hindi ko pa rin matanggap ang mga nangyari.

POV: Sandra

Pagkagising ko sa umaga, grabe, sakit ng ulo ko, hungover na hungover. Tumingin ako sa paligid, at hindi pamilyar ang lugar na ito—mukhang isang hotel. Pero na-relax ako ng konti kasi akala ko si Amila na nag-book ng hotel para sa akin. Nang bumangon ako at bumaba, ayun pala, hindi hotel, kundi pension house. Grabe, itong babaeng ito, gamit pa ang pera ko!

Habang pababa, naamoy ko ang pagkain na niluluto galing sa kusina. Nang makita ko ang babaeng nagluluto, akala ko si Yaya, pero mukhang may edad na siya. Maganda pa rin siya, though, kaya naisip ko na baka siya na yung nag-book ng pension house. Hindi na ako magtaka kung ubos na ang pera ko sa card ko.

Naupo na sana ako, pero may kakaibang pakiramdam. Nang tingnan ko kung anong inuupuan ko, grabe, katawan pala ni Julius ‘yon! Napasigaw ako bigla, at tiningnan niya ako. Tanong niya, "Okay lang ba ang tulog mo?" Tumango lang ako at tinanong siya kung anong ginagawa niya rito.

Sandra: (naguguluhan) "Wait, Julius... what are you doing here?"

Julius: (calmly, with a hint of sarcasm) "Really? You don’t remember? Well, apparently, you’re in my house. Don’t worry, I didn’t kidnap you or anything."

Sandra: (still confused) "Your house? Wait, this is your place?"

Julius: (nods slowly) "Yes. You’re welcome. You were way too drunk last night, so I had to make sure you were safe. I didn’t think this would be so complicated."

Sandra: (annoyed, trying to recall the events) "Seriously? Am I supposed to be grateful? I don’t even remember how I got here. I thought I was just... hanging out with Amila and then..."

Julius: (cuts her off, his tone cool and collected) "It’s fine. Look, you were in no condition to go anywhere. So, I made sure you stayed here. It's not a big deal."

Sandra: (squints at him, suspicious) "So, you're telling me you’re the one who decided to take me here and not Amila?"

Julius: (shrugs nonchalantly) "I didn’t see anyone else stepping up, so yeah. I made the decision. But don’t worry, you're safe here."

Sandra: (muttering under her breath) "Safe, huh? And now I’m stuck in your house...?"

Julius: (smirks) "Oh, don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it. Plus, it’s not every day you get a free stay at my place."

Sandra: (rolls her eyes) "You’re unbelievable."

Julius: (leans back casually, still in control) "If you want to leave, I’ll make sure you get home. But, if you’re smart, you’ll rest a bit longer and stop being so dramatic."

Sandra: (sighs, clearly frustrated) "Fine, whatever. I’m just... trying to figure out what happened last night."

Julius: (smirking again, crossing his arms) "Nothing crazy happened. Just relax. You’ll remember everything... eventually."

Sandra: (half-serious) "I better not wake up with any weird stories."

Julius: (teasing) "It’s a good thing you’re hanging out with me. You’re safe, Sandra. Don’t worry."

(Sandra rolls her eyes again, clearly annoyed but also slightly entertained by Julius’s confidence. She knows she won’t get far in this conversation, so she decides to leave it at that for now.)

Habang kumakain kami, naaalala ko yung kagaguhan na ginawa ko kagabi. I swear, what was I thinking? Hinalikan ko si Julius. Yun pala yung dahilan kung bakit siya natulog sa sofa, kasi pinatulog niya ako sa kwarto niya. Grabe, anong nangyari sa utak ko? Habang iniisip ko ‘yun, napansin ko na iba na yung damit ko. Sobrang laki ng long sleeve na suot ko. Sigurado akong kay Julius ‘to.

Tinignan ko ang phone ko, at ang daming missed calls ni Amila at ni Mateo. Ibang klase, may mga oras talaga na di ko maintindihan yung sarili ko. I mean, how could I just let all that happen? I quickly clicked on the missed calls, hoping to at least get some clarity, pero iba na yata ang magiging epekto ng mga calls na yun.

Pagkatapos naming kumain, nakita ko si Julius na nasa balcony, nagmamakmok at parang in-enjoy ang view. Hindi ko alam kung anong nasa isip niya, pero napansin ko na parang may hinahanap siyang sagot sa sarili niya. Lumapit ako, medyo hesitant at naiilang, pero kailangan ko na talagang magtanong.

"Uhm... Julius?" medyo kinakabahan ko. "Sino... sino nagbihis sakin?" Tanong ko, na medyo may kaba sa tono ko, kasi it’s a bit awkward, right? Like, seriously, if siya ang nagbihis sakin... nakakahiya naman, di ba?

Tinitigan niya ako sandali, parang nag-iisip. Saka siya ngumiti, sabay sagot na medyo walang pakialam. "I didn’t want you to stay in your clothes from last night. So, yaya changed your clothes. You were out cold." Sinabi pa niyang, "Hindi na kailangan ng maraming tanong."

Bumuntong-hininga ako, nananabik na makaalis na sa awkwardness. Grabe talaga, si Julius. I can’t even!

Bigla na lang tumunog ang phone ko, at nang tingnan ko, si Amila na tumatawag. Tinanggap ko agad, parang may kaba sa dibdib ko.

"Where the hell are you, Sandra?!" agad niyang tanong, parang may hinanakit pa sa boses. "Si Daddy mo, nagpunta dito, nagtatanong kung nasaan ka na! Ano bang nangyayari?!"

Naramdaman ko na parang bigla akong na-stress. Kung malaman ni Daddy na nandito ako, at lalo na kung malalaman niya na sa bahay ni Julius ako, sure na mawawalan siya ng trabaho bilang CEO. Hindi ko alam kung anong magiging epekto nun sa lahat—sa kanya, sa amin, at sa reputation ni Daddy sa company.

"Amila, I—" Naputol ako nang magsalita siya.

"Please, Sandra, where are you? Please lang, magkwento ka!" dagdag pa ni Amila, sigurado akong nag-aalala na siya. Pero paano ko sasabihin sa kanya na ako'y nandito sa bahay ni Julius, at baka magalit si Daddy mo pag nalaman niya.

"Just... I’m at a place, Amila, I’ll explain later. Please tell Daddy na okay lang ako," sabi ko, kahit medyo hindi ko alam kung paano ko tatapusin ang eksena na 'to.

I hung up the phone with Amila, still feeling the weight of everything. My mind was spinning. How could I explain to her that I was stuck in Julius’s house? How could I face Daddy if he ever found out? The idea of my father being disappointed in me was something I couldn’t even bear to imagine. His anger would be more than I could handle.

I walked to the window, trying to clear my mind, but all I could think of was the mess I was in. Julius might be calm about the whole thing, but I wasn’t. I felt trapped, like every move I made was scrutinized. I hadn’t expected this kind of drama in my life. I just wanted to breathe without feeling like everything was falling apart.

POV: Julius

I sat back on the sofa, quietly observing Sandra as she stared out the window. I could tell she was panicking, but I didn’t want to be the one to make her feel worse. Last night wasn’t ideal, and it was starting to feel like a bigger mess than I’d originally thought. But Sandra had to deal with her own problems—this wasn’t my fight.

“Look, I’m going to let you handle things with your father,” I said, breaking the silence. “You’ve got to face him on your own. I’m not going to be part of this drama.”

Sandra turned to me, her eyes wide with disbelief. “You’re not going with me? After everything that happened?”

I shrugged nonchalantly. “No. This is your family, Sandra. You need to handle it. You got yourself into this, so you’ll figure it out. I’ll just be here in case you need anything, but I’m not going to make it worse.”

POV: Sandra (Later that Day)

I stood frozen for a moment, processing what Julius had just said. He wasn’t going to come with me? After everything? But then, I realized, maybe it was for the best. I didn’t need him to make this even more complicated. I had to face my father on my own, no matter how terrifying that felt.

I grabbed my phone and texted Amila back, my hands shaking.

Sandra:“I’m going home. I’ll deal with Daddy.”

I walked to the door, but then I stopped, hesitating. Julius was still sitting at the table, his back to me. I felt the urge to say something, to thank him for keeping me safe, but the words felt heavy.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” I asked him one last time, unsure if I really believed in what I was about to do.

Julius didn’t look back. “Yeah. Just don’t make a scene, alright?”

His words were final. I knew then that I couldn’t rely on him anymore—not in this.

POV: Sandra (On the Way Home)

The drive back to my house felt like it took forever. Every minute, I imagined my father’s face when he saw me. He was probably furious, maybe even beyond angry. What if he didn’t believe my excuses? What if he decided to punish me for my actions? I was scared.

When I finally arrived, I took a deep breath before stepping out of the car. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I could feel the weight of my father’s anger waiting for me behind that door.

I hesitated as I reached for the doorknob, but then I pushed it open and stepped inside. Daddy was in the living room, pacing back and forth. He stopped when he saw me.

“Where have you been, Sandra?” His voice was low, but I could feel the tension in every word.

I swallowed hard. “Daddy, I—”

He cut me off. “Don’t lie to me. I already know what happened. I heard from Amila that you were out all night, and now you’re here, acting like nothing’s wrong?”

I took a deep breath and tried to hold my ground. “I... I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I just—”

“You didn’t mean for it to happen?” Daddy’s voice was rising. “You’re acting like a child! You don’t understand the consequences of your actions, do you? This is a mess—my career, our reputation! You’ve put everything at risk.”

I stood there, feeling like the smallest person in the world. He was right. I didn’t think things through. I never considered the fallout from last night.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “I didn’t think... I was just... lost.”

He glared at me, but his face softened for a moment. “You’re damn lucky I’m not making a bigger scene out of this. But don’t ever put me in this position again.”

I nodded, barely able to hold back the tears. “I won’t, Dad. I promise.

Habang ako’y nagsisimula pa lang mag-isip tungkol sa mga nangyari, biglang lumabas si Daddy mula sa kwarto niya, kasama ang isang lalaki na hindi ko pamilyar. Sigurado akong hindi siya kasamang kaibigan ni Daddy noon, kaya’t hindi ko agad alam kung ano ang ginagawa ng lalaki sa bahay namin.

“Sandra, this is my old friend, Mr. Tan. He’s been in the business for years, and I wanted you to meet him,” sabi ni Daddy, parang wala lang.

Lumingon sa akin si Mr. Tan at ngumiti, pero may halong pagka-seryoso ang tingin niya. “So, this is the famous Sandra. You’ve been quite a topic in the company, haven’t you?”

Naramdaman ko agad ang bigat ng presyon. Bawat salitang sinabi ni Mr. Tan ay parang may panggigipit. “Ah, yes, I heard about last night. Quite a scandal, isn’t it?” he added, tumingin kay Daddy na parang naghihintay ng reaksyon.

Tiningnan ko si Daddy, at halata kong galit siya, pero mas matindi pa sa galit—parang may kaunting pagkapahiya na hindi ko maintindihan. Sinabi ni Daddy, “It’s complicated, Tan. But I’m handling it. You know how these things go.”

Mr. Tan just laughed lightly, pero ang tono niya parang may ibig iparating. “Well, handling things might not be enough, don’t you think? People are starting to talk. You need to think about how your family image is being affected, especially if your daughter continues to make headlines like this. You know the reputation of your company is on the line.”

I felt like a million eyes were on me, scrutinizing every little thing I did. This wasn't just about me anymore; this was about everything Daddy built. And Mr. Tan—whoever he was—was clearly pushing the pressure on him.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Ang bigat ng puso ko, parang ang daming expectations na hinihila ako pababa.

POV: Daddy

“Let’s not make a bigger issue out of this,” I said, trying to stay calm. “I’ll deal with Sandra privately.”

But Mr. Tan wasn’t backing down. “I think it’s better if we address this now. If Sandra doesn’t change her ways, this might affect more than just her personal life. We wouldn’t want your company’s name getting dragged into it, would we?”

I clenched my fists, but I had to stay composed. Hindi ko pwedeng ipakita sa kanila kung gaano ako ka-frustrated.

“I’ve got it under control, Tan,” I said, trying to dismiss him. “I’ll talk to Sandra and make sure everything is in order.”

But Mr. Tan smirked. “Just make sure you do, my friend. Or we might need to consider the options available to you. There are people who would gladly take your place.”

His words hung heavy in the air. Ang ibig niyang sabihin, kung hindi ko kayang disiplinahin si Sandra, baka mawalan ako ng posisyon ko sa kumpanya. Hindi ko kayang mawalan ng lahat, pero hindi ko rin kayang magpatawad sa anak ko.

POV: Sandra

Nang marinig ko ang mga sinabi ni Mr. Tan, parang na-stress ako lalo. I didn’t understand what he meant by “considering the options.” Para bang may threat na nakatago sa bawat salitang binanggit niya. At pagkatapos, si Daddy—yung matagal ko nang iniidolo—parang nawalan ng lakas. May mga bagay siyang hindi kayang i-handle.

Umiling ako at naglakad papunta sa kwarto ko. "I don't know what to do anymore..." I whispered to myself.

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