Words that never escaped my mouth.

My beloved

There once lived a girl so beautiful,

A girl ever so graceful.

She used to shine brightly,

And smile delightly.

But that is now a past story,

As that was in her days of glory.

Then one day,

Her life turned gray.

Sorrow took over,

And she hoped to recover.

But she never could--

Others thought she would.

Others thought it was a phase,

But she was really stuck in a maze.

A maze she could never exit,

A maze she would never quit.

But could she?

Could she ever be free?

And so, one day,

One gloomy day,

On her arm,

Oh, her beautiful arm,

She made a slit.

Because she wanted to quit.

She wanted to quite her life;

Because she could no longer thrive.

Thrive like she used to,

Yes, it's true,

Death isn't an option,

But she had to make a decision.

To either live numbly,

Or die humbly.

She craved death,

Early in her youth.

The little voice in her head said;

"You should be dead."

But in her reflection,

She saw a vivid projection.

She saw her beautiful self,

That yearned for help.

So she made a decision,

To go on a mission.

A mission to survive,

A mission to thrive.

"She regained her past self."

That was my belief.

As I write this poem to my beloved,

My beloved who already died.

And so, here I am,

My soul on a tram,

Infront of my dear,

My feelings clear.

Confessing to her grave,

As in the past, I wasn't brave.

"I wasn't brave enough,

And instead, acted tough.

But you were the one I adored,

The one I truly loved."

I mumbled in tears,

As I hoped she hears.

*****

Home

I felt scared and helpless,

Tired and restless,

I felt lonely and surrounded,

Perhaps I was secluded,

I was just a child;

When the feelings piled.

I prayed in tears,

To erase all my fears,

To see the daylight,

Even if it takes all my might,

To be free;

To sing in glee.

Oh, it was impossible to escape,

On my very own pace.

I was rude and unkind,

To all of human kind.

That included me;

Yes, the very one that wanted to be free.

I felt scared and helpless,

Tired and restless,

As the place where the war erupted,

Is where I was meant to be protected,

Yes, in the place I called home;

But it was nothing but a dying dome.

*****

Author's thoughts:

"My beloved" is the longest poem I've written, and it covers topics like the transition of life a girl faces, self h*rm (sh) and forbidden love. The poem starts with a girl who is perfect in every way, but falls into the horrid trap of depression. She later turns to self h*rm and looses her past self. Then she understands that death isn't a solution and tries to save herself. Or… Does she?

She ends her own life and the one writing the poem is confessing in front of her grave.

"Home". Home is where we are meant to be protected and loved and feel cared for. But, that's not the case for most children in our world. The number of toxic households and growing day by day and "Home" is a poem dedicated to the children growing up in a bad environment.

Thank you!

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-ft.luci

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