season 1 episode 4

Many days passed, my situation wasn’t improving. Every night was the same no matter what I did. We even got the house exterminated and there was nothing. I hadn’t slept in days and I continued staying at home, fighting myself some days to keep my sanity. Even the smallest sounds made me jump and everyone tried their best to speak in normal tones and to not make any sudden moves.

One day I was sitting on the park bench, I’d gone out in hopes that some fresh air would do me good and a ball came flying and hit me. I lost control of everything. I started bawling and the kid whose ball had hit me started calling for his mother. The mother rushed over along with a bunch of other parents and they all began calling me a drug addict and a danger to the kids and the community, repeatedly shouting at me to get lost and threatening to call the cops if I didn’t leave. I couldn’t take it, I managed to get home somehow but after that I was unable to move for hours. The sound of the water dripping was making me lose my mind with every drip. Something kept crawling on me, no amount of scratching and swatting made it go away. I don’t know if I was dreaming or not but I kept seeing things, me lying on the floor, the whole house, sometimes it felt like I was walking on the ceiling, I saw my house in a different light, like never before. Strangely though, I could have sworn that this had happened before, I couldn’t remember when. I needed to open my eyes, I was seeing but I knew my eyes were shut. With the very little force left in me I did my best to open them. An ominous dread seized me, like something sinister waited on the other side. I could see. A thousand things at one. Tearing my brain apart. My heart was pounding and my stomach sinking. I couldn’t unsee what I saw, what I was still seeing. Nothing to make it stop. I knew what I had to do; I managed to get off the floor and bit by bit I dragged myself to the kitchen. Once there, I looked for the biggest and sharpest knife and when I found it, without thinking twice, I drove it into my palm and it came out from the back of it. A thousand voices screeched in my head and the pain was undeniable but I kept on stabbing my hand again and again. Time for the other hand, with my badly mangled hand I gripped the knife, it was slipping out and it hurt to hold it but I stabbed my palm and twisted the knife in it. That’s where they were coming out of, the roaches, from inside my palms. I’d seen it, I finally understood what had been happening. They were a part of me and that is why I could see what they saw, I still could. I-

When I gained consciousness, it took me a minute to register where I was, my parents were driving me somewhere. My head was in my mom’s lap and there was a lot of blood everywhere, I raised my hands up and they were wrapped with white towels soaked with blood. My mum realized I was awake, she started kissing my forehead and telling me it will be alright and that they were taking me to the doctor, I started fading away. As they drove me to the hospital to get treated, I again couldn’t stop scratching myself and that just made everything worse. I didn’t care, I was going to remove every single insect like creature from my body despite what anyone said and I began to peel off my skin. Ah yes, the relief that brought me. My mother looked at me and she let out a scream, it caused my dad to look back as well, nearly missing hitting another car. Too bad, I’d have liked to end everything there and then. My hands weren’t enough; I needed a better grip to pull off the roach infested skin. My mother was shouting and trying to stop me; she didn’t want me to feel better. “It’s okay mom, I’m just doing some much needed skincare.” I said and smiled at her. Then I proceeded to bite a chunk of skin off my arm, warm blood gushed out, lots of it. I chewed that skin, realising how hungry I was. She was asking me to stop again and again but I couldn’t. I pushed her away and took another bite, just delicious. We must have reached the hospital because we came to a halt with a jerk and my parents got out of the car and were yelling for help. No I don’t need any help, I tried to get out to run away but my father was blocking the door and wouldn’t step aside, so mean. My mother secured the other side, I was realising what horrible parents they were and in my annoyance I started punching the windows. A bloody mess started to appear on the windows, it was such a relaxing feeling. Soon, the paramedics arrived; I couldn’t let them capture me, I was ready to fight them all. They all wanted me to be tortured by roaches. I devised an escape plan; I stopped moving and sat there, waiting for the right moment. As they approached, they saw me sitting there without moving a muscle and figured it was safe enough. One of them opened the door and bent in to take me out. As he grabbed my arm I turned towards him and kicked him back with my feet, he hadn’t seen that coming and staggered backwards and fell. I hopped out ready to run but there were seven of them, blocking my escape. My mother saying, “Sweetie, it’s okay, they are here to help you! Let them!” Right. Help me. They started closing in on me and I crouched on all fours, I began to crawl. Very fast. An exhilarating rush passed through me. I almost got away and just then one of them jumped on me. I tried to fight him off me but he clinged onto me, maintaining a tight grip. Others got their cue and did the same, they held my arms and legs and I struggled by best. I was pinned down to the ground at last. My mother was crying and my father was trying to keep her calm, they could have helped me instead of creating this drama. Something sharp pierced my neck, they were administering a drug with a syringe, It was working because I began losing the feeling in my body and a fog engulfed my eyes till complete darkness surrounded me and the noises became faint and faraway.

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