season 1 episode 3

I was still feeling paranoid and decided to call my friend; if I didn’t I’ll probably go and hit my head on the wall or gauge my eyes out. Luckily she picked up and I told her all about the roach incident. She laughed so much and called me the queen of roaches, that they were my subjects were just showing up to serve their queen and that I should give them a chance. I saw the humour in the situation and laughed with her. By the time I was done talking to her I felt much better but I wasn’t happy about what had happened and I’d rather it didn’t happen again, feeling light hearted I went to sleep again.

I was frozen in a dream where bloodsucking insects were stuck on me and I was screaming, unable to escape the nightmare. As the morning came, my mouth felt dry and I was soaked in sweat, I got up to get some water and that’s when I saw it, my arms and legs were covered in red bite marks and the mirror showed me this crimson allergy patch that had developed on my face where I’d hit that roach. I took some ice from the freezer and iced everywhere, I felt a relief but as soon as I stopped the need to scratch everywhere came back.

My parents saw me and told me wear full sleeves before bed as it was the mosquito season. Right mom and dad, maybe I should also take a blanket and suffocate to death in this heat. I didn’t want to come out of the shower as the cold water was soothing but I did eventually and lathered my anti itch lotion and decided to wear a full sleeved shirt to school as I didn’t wanna go in looking like I did, I probably shouldn’t have used a concealer on my face to hide that patch as it could make the allergy worse but what was worse at this point? Feeling like I was made of bricks and itching everywhere I went to school. All my day was spent trying to discreetly scratch that itch, I couldn’t wait to go back home and do something about it and get some decent sleep. Once at home, the only logical conclusion I could reach was that the walls of my room were infested with roaches and insects and they only came out at night when I slept. So I decided to sleep in the other room. I made a nice setup for myself there and was looking forward to a good night’s rest.

In the middle of the night it started again, things were crawling on me, I could feel that everywhere. I broke down and started shouting and crying, I couldn’t take it anymore. My parents rushed in to see what the matter was and I was howling. Nothing could make me stop. They checked around everywhere for insects but this time there was nothing to be found. My mother made me herbal tea and stayed with me in hopes that it would calm me down and when I had no more tears left I quietly sipped the tea and lay down. I slept but it wasn’t the good kind of sleep, I woke up feeling more tired than before and was in no state to go to school so I called in sick. I was alone at home and everyone else had left, there something crawling on me. Not this again. I ransacked my mother’s drawers for sleeping pills and I popped in a couple, I was desperate, this should help me to sleep and sure enough, it did. This time I woke up to see that I had scratched myself in my sleep. I’d scratched off the skin and the blood was trickling out from everywhere. There were also a couple of dead roaches next to me; I was horrified and oblivious to what had happened. I stripped down and stood under running water for the longest possible time. It was the only time I didn’t feel something on me and didn’t want to peel my skin off. I wore the loosest cotton t-shirt I owned and went to sleep in my parents’ bed, it had to be a safe place. I was woken up by my mum who had returned after her shopping trip with dad, she saw the state I was in and with tears streaming down my face I told her about the whole episode. They decided to get the whole house exterminated, I agreed as I felt that might help with the whole situation. That night I dreamt about seeing myself sleep, I watched myself for hours sleeping there. When I got up in the morning, I felt a funny taste in my mouth and my eyes hurting to stay open. I again stayed home to get some rest. While brushing my teeth there was something stuck in between them, when I finally managed to get it out, it appeared to be something remaining of a cockroach’s body. Did I really eat one? I wanted to hit my head on the wall till I passed out or this nightmare got over. I silently contemplated what to do. I was tired, paranoid and hadn’t  slept properly. I didn’t know anymore.

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