Ep 1 : My Life

As i stare in the gray sky with cold expression, I keep asking myself when shall i die. Im tired being in this life where all the happiness in me had vanished like smoke in the wind, and how fire dispersed with water. I don't believe in affection, because I've seen it shredded in front of me at a young age. There's no such thing in my vocabulary. I am Jibrylle Garcia and i don't believe in love

As my thoughts keeps on whirling my mind i heard my phone vibrate as i received a message from a friend Xy*** Belarmino . i read her message and expecting an invitation to stroll around somewhere.

From: xy*****

Hey! prepare yourself im almost ready and will be at ur place in a minute. can't wait to buy Christmas presents!! 🤩🤩

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To: xy*****

Wished u told me a little early. 😗 just call me when you arrived

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i didn't consume a lot of time preparing. A girl like me who doesn't wear make ups and a boyish one only need a minute.

Christmas! that word suddenly approach my head. yeah the day after tomorrow is Christmas already, but i already forgot the happiness Christmas brings towards a person. I thank god every Christmas as a sign of tradition but being happy on that day is out of me.

After preparing im up on texting her but i already heard a hand clapping approaching to our house and knew it was my friend. I quickly open the door and welcomed her without letting her talk first.

xy***: how'd you know its me?

me: no one else would clap her hands that loud in this neighborhood

xy***: well you have a point, so lets go?

me: sure

So as plan we went to the mall and she bought gifts. I just stared at her buying. I am always happy shopping with this friend of mind but today is different. how can i be happy seeing Christmas decorations ? my friend noticed me and asked

xy***: aren't u gonna buy gifts?

me: why would i? i already give ur gift in advanced together with ur birthday last month aren't i?

xy***: yeah i know, but for ur father or for ur self?

me: me and my father will just eat dinner together as a celebration then lay at our different rooms listening how people celebrate Christmas happily. Where fine with it 😐😐👍

xy***: and i wont fight you with that

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Christmas..... if only it didn't happened, maybe i can smile widely like before without thinking others words... Maybe i can still be me. the real me. A person thats not afraid of affection ang love from someone.

Many tried to pursue my heart but failed for they can't break the ice covering my heart. Im not easily be fool cause i know where it will end. Sadness and sorrow after a lost cannot be healed easily especially when the wound is too deep and it breaks ur hope in love into ashes.

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