2.

Matthew

It's been 18 years since I have known Neel and 4 years since I realized my feelings for him and trust me when I say confessing your feelings to an airhead is much harder then one would except. For past 4 years I have been trying to successfully confess my feelings but Neel just like a little kid misunderstands them and leaves me speechless. Like when I first confessed it was under a neem tree on a rainy day. It was our secret hideout and the reason we made it our secret hideout was because when the first 3 letters of Neel's name and first letter of my name are combined together it makes neem. Quite childish but what would one expect from 8-9 year old boys.  when I first found out about my feelings for neel I was not shocked but a little scared. I knew no matter what neel will never abandon me sooo I thought of confessing. It was all perfect I lit up the fairy lights which was wrapped all over the tree, the smell of soil after the rain which was the only thing Neel liked about monsoon and the cool breeze make the cute little boy in front of me bury himself in the layers of clothes. He got ill very easily. It was all as perfect as it can be so I took my chance and said I like you to my surprise Neel jumped in my arms and said I like you too and I would like you more if you keep this place a little bit more clean. When I heard him I instantly understood that being the Youngest in the family and growing up with two elder sister and one elder brother like was a very common word for affection and that his like was very different from mine. I wanted to correct him but I was too busy embracing the little boy in front of me I missed my chance.

But I didn't give up I tried again but this time I made sure to be clear about my feelings. It's valentines day so I made made chocolate burfi his absolute favorite and rushed my way towards his house. I  knocked on neels door. It was a huge door made of wood and copper with lion heads made of sliver hanging on the door. Neel's Gradefather was a very well known and well respected jagirdaar so it was no surprise that he lived in a big palace just like a prince that he was....... My prince

Soon after the door cracked open and I saw a little head pop out to see. I said Neel and the cute boy with a annoyed look turned into a shining sun as he grabed my hand and pulled me towards his room. We took a different route their so I figured it was because he had some guests in the hall, well it was common for me now but when I first found out that Neel's family hosted a bunch of guests everyday I was surprised as hell. We reached his room. Neel sighted as he closed the door "I am so realived that you are here I was about to burst listening to them argue nonstop"........I took a deep breath and asked what happened? "Nothing, they just don't want to send their child out of the city" Neel said with cruise eye on the box I was holding.....Well I totally agree with you they should just let that child see the world "rightttttt even I want to go out and see the world with my own eye" what......you mean you want to study out of the city, my hands were shacking as I asked him..the cute thing after realising what he just said was filled with guilt I- I.....you know how I don't want them to decide my own future.....with eyes filled with water he looked at me. How could I refuse him I know how hard it is for him to be the perfect son but why didn't you tell me I asked with a shaking voice. "You are the first person I am telling" he looked down I was not able to say anything. I didn't want to see him sad, hey I said with all the courage I had it's all gonna be ok you made the right decision and I support you...it was a lie I was wishing with bottom of my heart for him to not go...but I smiled and gave him the box of burfi "You like these right" he huged me with his shining glittery eyes. I tightly hug him back and again lost my chance to confess.

Will he leave me just like that

Will I be left alone...abandon

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