forgive me

All I wanted was to forgive myself. I was running late to my little sister's birthday party. I rode my bike as fast as I could down the street till I saw our building.

The bitter taste in my mouth started to fade.

Entering my parents apartment complex to see my little sister at the counter with the biggest smile on her face.

It was her special day that comes once a year but this time it wasn't as happy.

The frosting on the cake in front of her read, my sweet 16 with moons and stars as decorations. Never did I understand her love for space nor how she managed to keep a smile on her face after our mom died but she was the brightest light to my day and I was her's.

Our dad was out somewhere probably drunk or partying. It made my blood boil that he would rather be out there with half naked women and fake friends rather than celebrate his own daughter's birthday.

I understood he was saded by my mom's death but so am I and I still at least send my sister a card when I can't make it.

We sang together then she blew out her candles making her wish. "I'm sorry dad for whatever I've done to upset you. please forgive me".

I was about to speak before I heard the door creek open.

Looking back I see my father and a girl who was not wearing a top.

Dad-wtf!??!!?? My sister covered her eyes in disbelief. I hated the grin my father had on his face. The girl looked about 20 my dad being in his 40s. I looked at him in disgust.

I grinded my teeth as he wobbled towards his room with the woman following.

The cold feeling of cruelty rushed over me. I stopped and thought for a second. I looked at the kitchen knife we were going to use to cut my sister's cake. I looked at the photo of my mom in the corner of the room…she was smiling with her hair in a bun she had icing on her face. The photo was from my 7th birthday, we smeared icing on each other's face for good luck.

I smiled a bit…just a little bit, the thought of that day made me forget the cold feeling I had.

Looking back at my sister as she cut both of us a slice of cake.

I dipped my finger into the cake and smeared some frosting onto her cheek. She giggled at my childish gesture and did the same.

We both laughed then sat down to eat. I could hear my dad and that woman from upstairs but I did my best to ignore it.

My sister ate her cake pouting a little bit because she didn't want to ruin the star and moon pattern that she loved so much.

Hey sis why do you love space so much?. She turned to me and smiled brightly. Mama used to take me star gasing. We would see who could count and name the most stars. It was fun even though she always let me win whenever I said the name of a star wrong.

She reached into the kitchen drawer and pulled out a picture of the night sky filled with stars with a Giant bridge in the background.

I went with mom and we counted around 757 stars in this one area.

She then put the picture on the fridge and started cleaning her plate.

I cleaned my plate then headed towards my room upstairs but before I opened my door I heard my dad talking to the woman he had over.

I don't usually snoop on my dad's business but I was still mad at him for skipping my sister's birthday for a woman he just meet.( Also I need blackmail) but when I leaned into the door to hear his conversation I heard my dad's phone ring.

I peeked through the small crack in the door and saw my dad picking up his phone. The light for his bathroom was on so I assumed the woman was using it.

I heard a weird old man on the phone. He had a raspy voice and sounded drunk.

I heard my dad ask about some type of price.

The man on the other side replied with 652,000 dollars.

700,000 and we have a deal. Replied my dad.

The man on the other side agreed and hung up the call.

Just one more year till the older brat is out and two weeks till I can sell the little whore off to that man. And boy will I get a bucket load of money from it. Maybe I could sell the brat as well before he turns 18.

My eyes widened, was my dad really going to sell my sister off to some rich old man?.

I grinded my teeth at the thought of some perverted old man touching my sister.

I kicked the door in tackling my dad to the floor. His eyes were wide and he smelled like alcohol and weed.

He punched me in the nose and slammed his head into the floor. The woman came out of the bathroom and screamed and pushed me off of my father.

He then lunged at me taking us back out of the room. I took the chance and pushed him down the stairs.

He screamed in horror at his now broken leg with part of his bone sticking out. My sister was crying at the sight and ran to call an ambulance/police.the woman tried to run out of the house but I grabbed the knife out of the sink and stabbed her in her stomach putting the knife out of her.

I grabbed my dad's old gun from his room and shot the lady in the head. When I went to get the gun I had dropped the knife onto the floor.

My dad who was still alive grabbed onto the wall for support and lounged at me with the knife in hand.

I was about to shoot him till he turned the gun, shooting my sister in the back.

He then stabbed me in the arm but then I pointed the gun at his head and fired.

I looked over to my sister laying on the floor with her space themed birthday hat fallen on the floor.

She was losing blood fast and I don't know why but I shot at her one last time killing her.

My eyes were wide. Why did I kill her!?!!?? Why did I kill that woman… and why don't I regret it..

I heard the sirens of the ambulance and police in the distance..

I took a look at the picture of the night sky, then at the now destroyed cake, and lastly the dead body of my little sister…

I didn't want to kill her..I didn't want to kill that woman….I loved my sister…but does she still love me?..Will she forgive me?..Will I forgive me?...Will anyone forgive me?...will god forgive me?...

I thought for a second then I heard the police knocking on the door.

I looked at the gun in my hand then at the picture of my mom with the picture frame broken. Then at the door about to be knocked down by police.

I raised the gun to my head…and fired.

The door was finally knocked down by the officers.

And the doctors rushed to our now dead body's laying on the wooden floor.

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