Ep 5 - That goes on

After some petty little chats Steven and I went our ways, though he offered me to walk me back home but I politely refused. Not because I wanted to but because it was already quite awkward to have coffee with him. With the guy I never really got the courage to talk to face to face at school. So yeah I'm now on my own way to home as it's Sunday.

My mom gave me a small welcoming hug

"Hey sweetheart.. Good to see you home early. So how was your night at James'?", she asked.

"It was great mom. We chatted, played and all. Yeah it was good", I answered half-heartedly. I don't know why I'm so much diving into what I said. It seems that none of my bffs really cared or listened but here I'm so much tensed.

"That's great honey! Go to your room and freshen up and come down for lunch. We have your favourite pasta", she kissed my forehead, a way to show that she is all ears to listen and understand what I have to say. She knows very well when I'm worried and this time also she felt it I know. But there is me such brick headed. Never ready to come out when I know I have such lovely, understanding people around me. I'm just not sure. Please don't get me wrong. You would have understood if you were in my place.

Living a life in small homophobic town, going to a school full of homophobic people, having a crush on probably a homophobic jock is no joke.

I went to my bedroom to and instantly slumped on my bed. My bed felt so appealing to me right now, probably because I'm too tired of thinking and events of today and yesterday. I slowly drifted to sleep.

It is Steven and me only in the boys locker room. For some reason we are really close to each other, our eyes locked to each others. An uncontrollable urged is starting to form inside of me somewhere which is screaming to my head "Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him,..." constantly, blinding all my sense of rationalism. Steven slowly inched closer to me, to the point of being dangerously close. I lost all my thinking capacity when he slowly raised his hands to reach my face. His thumb slowly started to rub my lower lip, gently. Slowly he started to push his thumb inside my mouth and getting it wet with my saliva. I unconsciously started to suck on his thumb. As I did, I noticed his adam apple to wobble up and down with lust, hunger. Hungrily he grabbed my waist and smashed his lips with mine.

"Mhmmm...", I let out a small moan inside my throat.

I heard him groan as he heard that. His hungry kiss is making me wet my underwear. I could feel his huge tent on his pants. His hands started to explore my body as his tongue started to explore my mouth. Saliva was dripping down my mouth as he continued to kiss me with same passion. He was slowly getting his hands down my back, that's when we heard loud bang on the door...

I woke up from the loud knock on my door and my mom calling me down for lunch. Ugh!! Again. That dream. That stupid dream. Stupid wet-dream.

"Coming, Mom!", I answered and she walked down.

I often have this kind of dreams about Steven. I know it is not right but I can't help it. And this goes on. I'm tired. I need a serious break.

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