Ep 2 - Him

It's always like this whenever I see him. Sometimes I feel scared that other people may have understood something but they don't seem to know about my crush for Steven. What am I thinking myself so highly for. Pffttt... I'm just a nobody for them so why would they care about what I do or like. Lol. Wake up Evan, get yourself together.

He sat on the seat next to me as usual. It takes a lot to not stare at him all the time. But I'm kinda habituated in such situation after hiding it for such a long time from eventually the whole world.

I like him a lot really a lot, but I know he can never be mine. He's like an angel whom everyone try to reach but cannot. Too much to ask for. His dark brown hair neatly styled, not too much just perfect. His dressing sense is not too extravagant neither too shabby, just the type which suits him perfectly. Am I too crazy about him? Do you think so? Nahhh... It's just him being too perfect. Oh! my eye candy Mr. Steven Smith.

He's both good in class and sports. Teachers like him and students love and respect him. He's kind and gentle, always help others with assignments and practice. Oh my god! I can write a whole essay about how good he is.

On the other hand I don't care about hus bestie so much. I don't like that dude. He's kinda a bully. Not too big of a bully but yeah he's kinda one. I wear glasses and one time somehow he bumped into me in the canteen and he called me a four-eyed as*hol*. So yeah I don't like him.

The literature class went quite smoothly. I get out meet my friends who were waiting outside my classroom. We walked towards my locker. With James rambling about how he liked a girl in his maths class. But he can't get himself to tell her.

" Man! I like her but I'm scared of being rejected dude. I can't bring myself to tell her that. Life sucks" James wryly said.

" Go man up bro, trust me no one will reject you. You are a good man and everyone knows with good looks and money. Tell her your feelings." Tomas added.

" Yes, bro you should tell her. Get her a rose and confess to her" I chimed in.

" That's kinda cliche." Tomas laughed.

" So what! Girls like this kinda stuffs." I said.

We got to the canteen where I grabbed my tray with sandwich and a hamburger with some juice. There I instantly spotted him. My eyes always search for him but when I see him I can stare at him directly because that will be a problem. It pains me how school is my only place where I can see him but it is also the only place which gives me the sinking feel about how I can never tell him that. Sometimes I think about the consequences. What will happen if I tell him. Will he laugh at me? Will I be bullied for being gay? Will he hate me? Will I be suspended for any absurd reason because of prejudices? I dunno I'm scared.

Steven looked at me and passed a kind smile. I returned it back. Oh my heart! If I could ever be his boyfriend. Shessssh! Thats a wild dream. Sometimes I have these hot dreams about us kissing and doing stuffs. You know couples do. But it's just a dream.

I sat with my friends and rambled about stuffs. Kinds of gossips and other homely stuffs.

" Hey guys let's have a small party with us at my house. My parents will be gone on a business trip so I'm all alone." James suggested.

We both agreed. That sounds fun. We don't have such times together because Tomas used to hang out with his girlfriend all the time. And I used to focus on my studies. But now Tomas has broken up and exams have ended. We are basically free. So party whole night with only us sounds kinda relaxing. Let's have it.

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