Worth fighting for

Song recommendation: Krr - night within you

Jihoon POV

"And 5,6,7 and 8!" Our leader Hyunsuk shouted as we ended our 5th round of from the top choreography. As soon as the song repeats, we all collapsed on the ground.

No one's speaking. Nothing but heavy breathing and squeaking noise from the shoes and wet skins rubbing the floor.

"Yah, Midam. Your movements aren't sharp enough. You're losing your energy as we get close to the end. " Hyunsuk said while panting.

"Okay, take five. Then we'll fix it again." Seunghun said as he stood up. We shouted in unison as a response.

I'm Park Jihoon, 18 years old. I came from Busan and currently a 2nd-year trainee in YG entertainment.

"Okay, guys. Let's get it." Hyunsuk announced in English as we all starts moving to our positions.

"So, what's your plan for the vocal evaluation next Friday Jihoon? " Our vocal trainer asked.

"I want to perform just the way you are by Bruno Mars. " I answered. He typed something on his laptop and he's looking at something very seriously.

"You think you can pull this off?" He asked as he leans toward his chair with his arms crossed.

"I'll do my best!" I said firmly even though I'm doubting myself.

"Okay, if you said so. Let's give it a try. " He commanded. I stood up and sang my song.

\*Insert the song\*

"Okay. You can seat now." He said.

He didn't speak for I think a good one minute? He's just there staring at his notes. It's upside down and a little bit far away from me so I can't read it.

"This song.. suits your chest voice because it requires a heavy vocal and that's what you have but your falsetto in the end did not work. It's unstable and flat. If you didn't work on that before the monthly evaluation, you're doomed Jihoon. " He said with a serious tone. I just said yes as a response.

"Maybe you could change your song or practice your falsetto. Your choice okay?  Whatever your choice is, we'll do our best to make the best out of it, okay?" He assured.

"Yes, Saem. Thank you so much, Saem." I said as I bowed down.

My vocal lesson ended and I went straight to the self-practice room. I started right away to practice. I have to make this right or else, I would definitely not get a compliment next week.

Hours have passed, I suddenly heard a knock. I look at the mirror on the door, it's Kazama Noa. He opens the door, only revealing his face.

"Jihoon, we've been looking for you." He said.

"Why? I'm practicing right now." I said.

"Let's go eat. It's already 10 pm. Your class ended 3 hours ago." He said. I didn't realize the time.

"Okay, I'm coming." I said. He smiled and left.

I fixed my stuff and clean the room. I left the self-practice room and walk towards the lobby where I saw the others waiting for me.

"Yah, Park Jihoon! We've been looking for you. We even called you many times." Hyunsuk said as he put his arm on my shoulder, putting his weight on it.

"Sorry, I'm just really immersed in getting better. I'm just really nervous." I explained.

"Hyung(when a younger boy calls an older boy), don't worry. You're going to be okay. You're Park Jihoon! Remember that. " Yedam said and I just smiled at him.

On our way out, we also said goodbye to the staff. We're talking about where should we eat. They keep suggesting and debating which food we should eat.

"Yah, guys. Since Jihoon is kind of down today, let's make him decide. " Seunghun hyung announced. I got embarrassed because they're treating me special right now.

We ende up eating tteokbokki and ramyeon.  Surely, the food made me relax and relieve my stress.

"Hyung, you okay now?" Doyoung asked.

"Yeah, the food made me." I replied while smiling at him.

"That's good to hear then." He said.

"Don't worry too much okay? You're our happy virus, right? Just do what you need to do and you'll do great in the end." He added as he put his arm around me as comfort.

We went to our dorm and we're all pretty tired. We started our night routine. After that, some of them played some video games and some are having their alone time already, that includes me.

I was scrolling to my SNS when suddenly my Mom is called me.

^^^"Oh, Eomma" I pick up the phone.^^^

"Son, have you eaten already?" She asked and hum in response.

"How's the training?"

^^^"Hard but I know I can do it. I just need to practice harder."^^^

"You know you can always come back right?" There she goes again.

^^^"Eomma. Stop with that please. I'm not quitting." I said in an irritated tone.^^^

"You can still finish your art high school and then go to college to pursue what you planned before, to be a pilot." He explained.

^^^"Eomma, that dream is already gone. This is my dream now. To be an idol, to perform."^^^

"You can be more than that, son. Don't you know how much the idols suffer a lot lately? Don't you hear the rumors and news? People bringing the idols down and making them commit suici-"

^^^"Eomma, when will you understand that this is what I want. Why can you just support me? Please?" I interrupted her.^^^

"I just don't want to get yourself into danger and more suffering. Our life is already hard ever since your father died." As soon as she mentioned my dad, I started to feel that I'm going to cry.

^^^"Eomma, please.. just trust me. Okay? Please?" I plead while I sniff, trying to stop my tears.^^^

"It's not that I don't trust you. I just want the best life for you." She defended.

^^^"Eomma, I'm tired. I had a hard day. Can we talk next time? I call you next time." Before she responds, I already ended the call. She made me just feel worse than I already am.^^^

I put my phone down and turn off my lamp. I hugged myself and covered myself with a blanket. I cried on my pillow while suppressing myself to make any noise. My bed is double-deck, Yedam is on the second deck. He might come in and hear me crying.

I already made them worry about me today. I felt embarrassed because they treat me special to comfort me because they know I'm not in the right mood. I don't want to be a burden to them anymore.

I cried harder out of frustration and stress. I felt alone and all I can do is to let myself cry and to comfort myself that everything is gonna be alright. It's hard but I know I can make it. Just hang in there, Jihoon. Your mom will understand once you debuted.

My tears started to dry as I fell asleep with sad thoughts in my head and a heavy burden in my heart.

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