Story 3- Chrys

The title is "Like a film"

It's a story about a girl who is depressed and was about to end her life when she met someone, that changed her whole life.

I'm so tired of everything, why the hell was I born just to experience these things?

Why was I born just to suffer?

So sometimes, I think I should just end my life, maybe that way... My Mom would be happier, and I won't have to endure the pain of staying even if she wants me gone.

All I want is for her to love me, be proud of me, like how other moms do.

Why can't I have the love and attention just lile the others has?

What's wrong with me? I just want love and attention...

But I know that it's impossible, for I was the one who just kept on reminding her of her dark past.

I'm a fruit of sin. Sin of my father. And because of that, I had to suffer... All my life.

Sometimes people asks me, Why don't I just live a life like normal people do? And why do I still stay with my mother even if she hurts me.

That is because I love her, I love her more than anyone.

And I know that she loves me too, she only hates me because I reminded her of my father's sin.

Because if she don't love me, she won't give birth to me...

But that's what I thought...

"I wish I shouldn't have given birth to you! If my Mom just didn't stopped me from aborting you, my life would've been better!"

those words are like a sharp dagger that is piercing my heart, slowly killing me inside

At first... I thought it's meaningless to start a story with a heartbreak in the end. But I realized that it wasn't.

Because what matters the most isn't the ending... But the memories you two shared together... Even if it will soon ends.

Just like how beautiful the cherry blossoms blooms but tragically ends in a short period of time.

Everything was too perfect, even if it ended to soon.

Because every memories will forever stay in my heart and mind.

I stared at the bright blue and starry night sky, which reminds me of that unexpected encounter... The encounter that changed my whole life.

Flashbacks started running through my mind... Like a film of our old days.

~*~

Sometimes, I ask myself...

Is it worth caring for the person who doesn't care a bit for you?

Is it worth living even if the person you love the most wants you gone?

Is it worth loving when no one loves you back...?

She's right, what's the purpose of my life? I'm just making her suffer more. And seeing her suffer stabs my heart too...

I feel like I'm just caging her in the dark, without me, she might have been better.

I shouldn't have been born, I don't deserve life.

I exhaled deeply while feeling the cold wind against my skin. I looked up and stared at the starry sky.

Up there... If I'm up there already, you think I won't feel pain anymore?

Up there, will I be finally free?

I wanna be one of those beautiful stars too...

Maybe, it's more peaceful there.

I smiled at that thought and stepped forward.

The end begins here...

Salt water filling my lungs.

The Ice-cold temperature piercing my skin.

Every inch of my body, paralysed.

While all the traces of light vanish as I sink lower and lower.

Then suddenly.

I heard splashes of water. And saw you...

My weak eyes met your beautiful piercing blue eyes.

Those eyes, it's as if they could see through me.

Empty, and glass-like. They also seemed to hold an immense sadness.

Somehow similar to me.

Then slowly, one by one, each of my senses began to fade out, sound, feeling, vision... Until everything went black.

"Hey!"...

I felt your lips landed on mine, trying to give me air as you pound my chest.

"Hey! Wake up!"

I coughed the salt water and weakly opened my eyes.

"What the hell are you trying to do?" you asked.

But I wasn't able to answer, still shocked about the situation.

~*~

After a few minutes. You asked me, "feeling better?" while both of us are still sitting on the ground.

I don't know what to say, I feel better now because I can breathe normally again, but I also feel bad at the same time cuz I'm still alive. I should've died.

"So what were you trying to do, huh?

I only rolled my eyes, isn't it obvious? Of course I'm trying to end my stupid life, "Idiot" I accidentally spoke out loud the last word.

"Wow, after I saved your life, you still dared to call me idiot? Well, thanks!" you sarcastically said.

I sighed, "Well, 'Mr. Hero' I never asked you to save my life, in fact it would've been much better if you just didn't meddle with my business."

"how could you say that..."

It was at that moment when I first saw you care about me. I can see through your transparent eyes your sincerity.

How could some stranger care about me while the person I love the most can't even look at me?

"Why do you care? You don't even know me." I told you as I sob.

"Yeah, but you don't deserve this..."

"How did you say so?"

"Even the most evil person don't deserve death. Everyone deserves forgiveness, everyone deserves happiness."

I was speechless, I don't know what I should say.

"And... Our life is like cherry blossom. It is very beautiful, bur tragically short."

"Life is not beautiful at all times."

"It is... You just have to look and focus on the bright side."

"That's easy to say... But it's hard to do!What if there's none? What if you can't find any bright side because whatever you do, you're still in the dark—"

I wasn't able to continue my sentence when you suddenly stood up and offered your hand.

"There's a bright side, you just can't see it. Sometimes, the bright sides were covered by a thick curtains. Which blocks the light from you. And you just have to open that curtain. But... Most of the times, you chose to not open it instead, because you're afraid. You're afraid of hoping for nothing. You're afraid because you don't know what's behind it... But, how will you know what's behind it when you won't open the curtain."

I looked down. Feeling guilty. Yes, I am afraid. I'm afraid of rejection, failure, mistakes. I'm afraid that I'm just gonna get hurt, I've been hurt so much, and I don't know if I'll still be able to handle the pain.

I accepted your hand, and stood up.

"Do you get what I mean? Sometimes, you have to try new opportunities, don't be afraid of failure, heartbreaks, mistakes, and whatever, because failures are lessons, and success is the reward. Try opening your heart for other people, don't limit yourself with just a few person. Not because some doesn't love you, means no one would ever love you. Just... Trust, believe, and love yourself."

I'm still speechless, he's right. That's what I should do. But it's easy to say, yet it's hard to do.

It's just really hard.

Tears started rolling down on my cheeks.

"And... Next time, don't even dare to end your life. There are many people who needs life, yet they die... So be grateful because you're still alive until now. And since you're alive, every new day, it's a new chance fix everything." You said.

I wiped the tears on my eyes. It's so hard.

"And from now on... I'll be by your side, I'm gonna help you claim the happiness you deserve. So don't worry, cuz I'm gonna do anything, just to see a sincere smile on your face"

I cried even more. Do I even deserve happiness? Will I ever have happiness?

"hush" you gently said as you put my head on your chest.

And that was the first time I've ever showed my vulnerable side in front of someone.

And that is also the first time... I let someone in on my life, aside from my mother.

Just like that... Our story began.

Written by: Chrys[MTSRC]

Published by: Mangatoon Sun Reza Community[MTSRC]

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