Regret #1

It's been three days since I left them. I am so nervous while driving my car. I don't know if Jannah would accept me again despite of what I've done to her and to my son. I hope she could forgive me. I regret leaving them that's why I'm heading home now. I will come back to them and I this time, I will make sure that I will do everything just to make them happy.

I went to the mall ahead of our house to buy a ball for Jair. I'm sure he will love his new ball. I'm so excited to see his reaction. I'm sure he will ask me imediately to play basketball.

after a few minutes, I reach out house. I breathed deeply.I'm so nervous. I do not know what will be her reaction when she see me again. The gate is closed so I beeped my car. but there is no one coming to open the gate. I beeped once again, and again and again until finally the gate opened and I saw Manang Lourdes titled her head to see who's the visitor. I see her eyes got widen when she recognized my car then she imediately closed the gate again. I went outside my car. maybe she's also mad at me.

I called her name. " Manang Lourdes! Manang Lourdes! please open the gate. I need to talk to Jannah please let me in! I know you're also angry at me, I did wrong and I knew that now that's why I am here" but she didn't respond so I called her again. I won't quit. I need to talk to Jannah. " Manang Lourdes! Manang Lourdes please! Just call her. I badly need to talk to her please Manang Lourdes! I'm begging you! I want to talk to my wif-- " she finally opened the gate. " She's not here" she said blankly. I can't see any emotion in her face. " I know she's there. I'm begging you, please allow me to talk to her" "I'm telling the truth sir s-she's not h-here" Her eyes are starting to get wet. why is she crying?

"h-how about Jair? where is my son? can I talk to him? please allow me atleast to talk to him"

"J-Jair is not around! y-your son is not here! " she cried loudly " t-then where are they?" I asked. did they also left the house and moved far away for good?

" S-Sir J-Jair, your son!" She's sobbing and she's crying like in pain. I started to feel more nervous.

"W-What happened to my son?" she didn't answered me. she's just crying hardly.

"what happened to my son?!!" I asked loudly. I feel that there is something wrong about my son.

"J-Jair is..-"

"Jair is what?? please tell me what happened to my son???!"

"Jair is gone! you're son is gone!"

"W-What do you mean?"

"Jair is gone! your son is dead!" She cried harder while she's saying that with pain and anger.

what?....

no...

"n-no.. you're joking right?" what kind of joke is this?

"Manang Lourdes this is not a good joke!" I said angrily!

"I'm.not joking. Why don't you see him yourself?" she said her face is back to being blank.

no... it can't be.. I felt like my legs became jelly. I fell on the ground. I'm shaking.

"no! it can't be! how did it happened?!"

" he followed you. he followed you when you left them. then there is a raging car and it hit him. we managed to bring him in the hospital but he didn't made it." she's crying again.

"h-he W-What? h-he followed me?" I hardly asked even I heard her clearly.

"yes, he's crying and he doesn't want you to leave them, he can't believe that you are leaving them so he followed you then the accident happened" she said sadly.

"no! my son! " I cried in grief. is this the payment of my sin? why it have to be him? why it have to be my son? I want to killyself. This is my fault! I'm sure my wife loaths me. I know she despise me now. I'm such a jerk! the heaven is punishing me for what I have done to my family. my son! he's so young. I hope I am the one who died.

" w-where are they? where is Jannah? where is my son?"

" I-I can't tell you"

"Manang Lourdes please! I need to see them please!" I begged. I will do everything just to see them.

"I promised to Jannah that I will not tell you where the are. she doesn't want to see you. She told me not to tell you anything. She even told me not to talk to you"

" Manang Lourdes please! I want to see them, please help me!" I kneeled on the ground.

" Jannah will get angry! and I don't want her to get hurt again! I know if she see you gain, she will get hurt again!

" Manang Lourdes please!" she sighed

"okay I'll tell you. but promise me not to show your self to Jannah okay?"

" o-okay" I just said that but I'm planning to still talk to her. I will ask her forgivenwss. I know she's deeply hurt and it's my fault.I am the one to blame. I will make it up to her. I will do my best just for her to forgive me. I know it will not be easy but I'm willing to do everything just to be with her again.

I'm so sorry my son. Daddy is coming now.

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