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Lord Weston aka Richard
Stand back.
(He picks up the parcel gingerly.)
Lord Weston aka Richard
We do not know what may happen.
(He inserts the parcel lengthwise into the pail,at full stretch of his arm,his head averted,his eyes watching from their extreme corners)
Lord Weston aka Richard
There is not enough water!Not enough to cover it.
Roger Chetwynd
I’ll get some. I shall not be a moment.
Lord Weston aka Richard
No. Don’t go. The flowers!💐
(He indicates a bowl of daffodils).
(He pulls the daffodils from their setting, throwing them on the desk in his agitation and pours the water into the pail)
Roger Chetwynd
Ah! That has done it!
(dismayed, as he takes his hand from the package)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Now it is going to float! It must be wet through, or it is no use.
Roger Chetwynd
We must put something heavy on top, to keep it down.
Lord Weston aka Richard
Yes, yes. Get something.
Roger Chetwynd
What shall I get?
Lord Weston aka Richard
Anything, anything that is heavy and that will fit into the pail. Books, anything!
(to whom books are objects of reverence, if not awe)
Roger Chetwynd
Books sir? But they’ll get very wet, won’t they?
Lord Weston aka Richard
In the name of heaven bring the first six books off the shelf!
(snatching the books and bringing them)
Roger Chetwynd
I suppose it cannot be helped. Such beautiful bindings too!
Roger Chetwynd
(He picks the wet cloth off the edge of the pail, dropping it on the carpet, and plunges the books into the water, which very naturally overflows at this new incursion).
(letting go his hold on the package and siting back on his heels with a sigh of relief)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Ah! Well and truly drowned.
(He mops his forehead and ROGER collapses into the nearest chair).
(Enter LADY WESTON, with a tray on which is a glass of wine and some biscuits.)
(seeing their strange occupation)
Lady weston aka Frences
Richard! What have you got in the pail?
Lord Weston aka Richard
A package that came this morning. The man who brought it was the same fellow that knocked against me yesterday and slipped that paper into my pocket. They thought I would open it, the fools!
(He is beginning to feel better)
Lord Weston aka Richard
But we have been one too many for them!
Lady weston aka Frences
You are making a mess of the beautiful, brand-new----
(interrupting her angrily)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Frances!
(The thunder of her name quenches her speech.)
Lord Weston aka Richard
What does your ‘beautiful brand-new’ carpet matter when your husband’s life is at stake? You shock me.
(who was not going to say ‘carpet’)
Lady weston aka Frences
Carpet?
Lady weston aka Frences
No, of course not, my dear. I should never dream of weighing your safety against even the finest product of Asia. You know how the doctor disapproves of excitement for you.
Lord Weston aka Richard
Perhaps the doctor has never had an infernal machine handed in at his door of a spring morning.
(contemplative, her eyes on the portrait which hangs opposite the side window)
Lady weston aka Frences
Do you think we had better remove Great-aunt Cicely?
Lord Weston aka Richard
In the name of heaven, why?
Lady weston aka Frences
She is in the direct line of shots coming through that window
Lord Weston aka Richard
And why should any shots come through the window, may I ask?
(mildly objecting to the tone)
Lady weston aka Frences
I was merely taking thought for your property, my dear Richard. And anyone sitting in the ilex tree🌳 out there would be in a –
Lord Weston aka Richard
Frances! What made you think of the ilex tree?
Lady weston aka Frences
That is where I would shoot you from. I mean, if I were going to shoot you. The leaves are thick enough to hide anyone sitting there, and yet not enough to obscure their view.
Lord Weston aka Richard
Come away from that window
Lady weston aka Frences
What?
Lord Weston aka Richard
Come away from that window!
Lady weston aka Frences
No one is going to shoot me.
(running out of the room, and calling to ROGER from the landing)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Roger! Roger!
Lord Weston aka Richard
Has the gardener gone away yet?
Roger Chetwynd
No, my lord. He is eating his dinner outside the kitchen window.
Lord Weston aka Richard
Tell him to sit under the ilex tree until I give him leave to move.
Roger Chetwynd
The ilex tree? Yes, my lord
(WESTON comes back and goes to the drawer of the table where his pistol is kept.)
(as he takes out the pistol)
Lady weston aka Frences
Oh Richard dear, be careful. That is a very dangerous weapon.
Lord Weston aka Richard
I know it!
Lady weston aka Frences
Well, I think it is a poor way to foil an assassin.
Lord Weston aka Richard
What is?
Lady weston aka Frences
Blowing oneself up
(Enter ROGER with the bowl of daffodils.)
(looking round at him as he comes in)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Has Joel gone to sit under the tree?
(Put thing down the bowl and making for the side window)
Roger Chetwynd
At least, I gave him your message –
Lord Weston aka Richard
Keep away from that window!
(As ROGER looks astonished)
Lord Weston aka Richard
There may be someone in the ilex tree.
Roger Chetwynd
But do you think they would try to shoot you as well as – as….
(he indicates the bucket.)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Who knows? When you have dealt with the criminal mind as long as I have… Did you open the door to speak to the gardener?
Roger Chetwynd
Oh, no, my lord. I spoke through the shutter.
(snapping the lock of his pistol)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Now we shall see whether there is anyone lurking in the tree.
(He moves over to the side of the window, peering out with the fraction of an eye.)
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