Chapter 4: Tell Tale

Day four in ’Where to find my mother’.

As I was skimming my diary which I brought with me in this run away journey, I may

have found some connections between the clues. My diary contained all of my

thoughts and emotions for the past eight years. Mother gave it as a gift for my

tenth birthday, it’s as thick as my English book and its cover was of brown

leather. She said she got it from a thrift shop downtown on the way to the

house, but it looked authentic and expensive to be sold in that kind of store.

Although the purpose of a diary was to

write your daily life and encounters. I only wrote on it when I needed to vent,

when I can’t tell someone about my scattered thoughts, when I was genuinely

happy or when there was a major event that happened which I needed to write in

order to not forget it. Apparently six years ago, three days before July 18, my

Mom and father got into a serious argument that awakened us siblings in the

middle of the night. What did they fight about? The thing was I can’t remember,

maybe the memory was too foggy because us siblings woke up past midnight hearing

father’s angry scream and mom’s silent hushes, or maybe that time I was mad to

care about what they were arguing and was focused on sleeping. The entry that

day was this:

’July 15 xxxx,

     My parents argued in the middle of the

night and it woke both Luke and I. Honestly I don’t care about what were they

fighting but Luke looked as if he’s going to cry. As his big sister, I tucked

him again to bed away from the screams and told him the story of the boy who

cried wolves. Minutes after he was snoring soundly. I went back to my room and

tried to go back to sleep but the screams didn’t fade away. I went to school to

take my exams without sleeping a wink. ’

I never had a failing grade so that meant I passed all of my exams that day.

The next entry after that was on July 18.

’July 18 xxxx,

     My Mom took me to our school’s camping

trip, all students were required to go so my father can’t say no. The camping

site was outside the city. Tall tress lined up the road and it was an

enchanting, it felt like I was on my way to Narnia to meet Aslan. Mom looked

happy because I was happy, it was my first time to camp! We arrived a little

early so we had free time to look around. The camping site was near a mountain

and there were tons of trees! Mom said that was the most beautiful place she

had set her foot onto. She also told me that we’ll go back here when we have free

time! Diary, I’m so happy today. ’

The scenery was beautiful yes, but the camp, I really want to forget.

The camp lasted for a week and I think that was

the loneliest time of my entire life. Well I guess not so lonely, because that

week made me realize that being alone doesn’t mean you should feel lonely or

pity yourself because no one was willing to be friends with you. When Mom

picked me up a week after, I had to fake my happiness, told her that it was the

best camp ever so that she won’t be worried. What happened at the camp? Well

long story short, I was bullied because everyone in school thought I was

’fatherless’ because they have never seen my father and a nerd for reading too

much books. Well they were quite immature that time and up until now, but the

good thing about the situation was the type of bullying they did was

violence-free. The whole school treated me as if I’m one with the air, I never

had the chance to befriend anyone because if someone came up to me and decided

to be my friend they would also get the cold-shoulder treatment. I was sad for

some time, well I was a child back then I needed a friend. But I got this diary

and everything went well in the end. I was safe from all the drama that was

happening in school and I kind of earned some money from my bullies. Once in a

while, they would ask me to do their projects for them. Obviously, my services

were not for free and it was expensive enough to land them an A. That was my

way of making them pay for what they did to me.

Back to finding my Mom, I spent the whole

Day 5 in the hostel booking a ride and a cabin in the camping site. I wanted to

go to the camping site as soon as possible but the bookings were full for three

months! Apparently, the site became popular for its beautiful sceneries that it

took me hours of refreshes to book for a cabin. I was lucky enough that someone

cancelled their plans for the day after tomorrow.

For the ride, I was torn in buying a car or

hiring a driver. In the end, I decided to just take the bus there for many

reasons. One, even though I have the money, I didn’t know how to drive nor do I

have a driver’s license. Two, if I’d buy a car then hire a driver, it would be

as dangerous as taking a taxi to the countryside and I have trust issues as you

can see, especially on men. And three, though the ride will take at most 3

hours, I’d like to see and appreciate the scenery.

After that day, when I finished packing my

things up for tomorrow’s venture, I went out of the hostel and did so many

things I’ve never done before. The whole day was like catching up to the years

where I let myself be holed up in that house. I went to every mall I see,

watched a movie or two and had dinner at a five-star restaurant. I was

underdressed, but I booked a table the day before. That evening was great, I

strolled around the city and the streets were never less busy. The whole city

sounded of cars honking and stranger’s feet were busy shuffling as they were

busy with their phones, ranting and talking. I was alone in a city full of people

but never once I felt alone. I felt alive. I slept really well that night.

I took the afternoon bus, the camping site

was breathtakingly beautiful as the color of the sunset paints the whole

scenery a mixture of orange, red and pink. The whole bus ride was a series of

smiling, nodding and also picture-taking. There were actually small towns ahead

of the camping site, I knew that because there was this old lady who sat beside

me. She told me of her youth and of the town she grew up in. She also told me

about this town that opens its gate to a few. Apparently, the town finds the

people but the people can never find the town even though they have ventured

the woods they never saw its land nor its gates. Curious enough, I asked her if

no one saw the town how come they knew that it exists. Then she told me this

story.

 ’Long ago, before I was born there was this man who went missing in our town. We

never knew the reason why he was missing. His wife broken hearted, went to the

woods all by herself to search for her missing husband. No one heard from those

two for months. Then many years after, a young man came to town, said that he

came back for his wife. The people, astonished for they recognized him as the

man who went missing many years back. The man thought that only months had

passed since he was gone. Before leaving again to search for his wife, he told

his tale. He said when he went to the river to catch some fish, he got caught

by the current and was washed away to some town. He called it Hiraeth. When he was

asked where was it located or what does the town look like.

He simply said, ’You can try and seek but you will never find

it. The town find its people and the people can only be found if they chose to

seek it.’ The man left and never came

back, neither did the wife.

’So did the two found each other?’ I curiously asked. She

chuckled and said, ’We never knew my child, maybe they did found each other in

the middle of searching or maybe they didn’t. For me I think they met halfway,

lost souls are found when they chose to be seen anyway.’

We talked the whole bus ride but I never

knew her name nor did she ask for mine. We were absorbed with telling each

other tales that hours ticked like a second in a minute. Before getting off the

bus, I promised to visit her town when I found my Mom. The old lady smiled and

waved me goodbye.

I checked in and unpacked my things before

I asked the staffs for my mother. I turned my phone on for the first time

during that week. There were many missed calls and a text. The calls and text

all came from my brother. The text said that father was furious so I shouldn’t

come home if I’m considering it as a choice. Luckily there was a tiny bit of

signal in the area so I immediately replied to him that I was fine, I’m at a

certain campsite and that he should still be eating three times a day. I turned

my phone off again and went to the main building.

In this world, money can really do wonders.

When I asked the woman at the desk about my mom, she refused to give any

information as it violates their policy and the customer’s privacy. But when I

said I’d tip her generously, she immediately searched her desktop and said that

there were no Selene Avalyn that checked in nor booked any of the cabin. I was

sad to hear that but then she added that a Selene Charles booked a cabin a week

ago and checked out not long after I checked in.

After giving the woman her tip, I got out

of the building and ran towards the entrance. She still must be in the area.

Charles is my middle name. Maybe Mom didn’t want father to find her whereabouts

so she chose to use Charles instead of Avalyn. I was running out of breath but

that didn’t stop me from sprinting. The site was huge and the ground was bumpy

so the run wasn’t easy. I was near the entrance when I saw a glimpse of a tall

black-haired woman in a blue coat. My mom and I shared the same favorite color,

blue. With one glimpse I was convince that that woman was my Mom. I reached the

entrance and yelled for Mom. The woman turned to see who yelled but before I

can see her face, my world suddenly became a spiral of black, red, orange a

little hint of blue. I didn’t know if I ran out of oxygen and suddenly past out

in the open but all I know that my head hurts as much as my heart was, then, my

world faded into black.

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