4

Esmeray-

I was about to undergo a surgery today, later in the day. It seems like I had 6 broken ribs and thankfully my lungs were doing fine.

Right now I'm in the room and Rex was with me, while the others were out for some work. But I noticed one thing about Rex. He doesn't speak much, but his actions do a lot.

He's been bringing me candies sneakily. He plays with my hair locks like curling them around his fingers and making tiny curls. Yesterday I saw him watching a tutorial video for different hairstyles. And my heart warmed.

Seeing girls of my age have brothers care for them, pamper them, made me envy them. I too, began to wish for a brother. But maybe, just maybe, whatever higher power is up there felt bad for me and gave me these 4 boys, who are not only so warm and gentle, but gave me a family, they gave me brothers. They gave me home.

"Rex," I called him softly and he looked up immediately.

He kept his laptop aside and was instantly besides me. He brushed my hairs aside and then looked at me.

"Are you okay, Star?" He asked and I nodded.

"I- I need to use the bathroom." I told him nervously playing with my fingers.

"Okay, let me take you." He said and gently picked me up.

"Don't lock the door, okay. And shout for me if you feel uncomfortable. I will be right outside the door." He said and slowly lowered me on the floor and stepped out closing the door.

I turned and looked in the mirror and saw myself.

Broken

Whore

Slut

Burden

Cause of destruction

Cause of deaths

Ripped off my innocence.

Just because they adopted me, are kind and gentle and warm, doesn't mean they will always.

Once they find out how actually broken I am, they will throw me out.

Tears started pricking my eyes. I wiped them harshly and did my work.

After I was done, I stood up to wash my hands and once again looked at the mirror. There was another of me who was laughing at me.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Because you are so naive and such a fool to trust anyone who shows you little kindness. Just wait till they find out that you aren't as innocent and pure as they think. They have already said they are worst than the people you stayed with. Imagine what they will do with you when..." she laughed at my misery.

Tears clouded my vision. Every voice, every sound, everything tuned off and I could only hear my heart thumping loudly in my ears.

I couldn't breath, I felt the walls were closing in on me. I slided down the wall, shrinking myself so no one would see me.

"Star?" I heard Rex's voice calling me along with the knock.

Just wait till they find out...

"No, no, no," I shook my head furiously.

They should never know. They should never know that I was.... No no no.

I couldn't breathe anymore. I felt black fog cover my vision as I lay there on the bathroom floor.

Suddenly I was lifted up, my strong and firm arms. I felt like I was moving.

But nothing mattered. None of it mattered. Because I'd never be free of it all. It will haunt me forever. It will stay with me forever.

I could see silhouttes, but I couldn't see the faces. I could hear the voices, but couldn't understand what they were saying.

Soon I felt something prick my arm and something cold flowed in my veins. My body started falling limp snd my eyelids felt heavy. Unable to fight more, I gave into the sleep.

Little did I know I would find myself back to the day, the same bed, tied and ready for those monsters to pleasure themselves, not caring about  my innocence, not caring that I was just a little girl.

Just a little girl....

I was...

A little girl...

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