Your Problem Now!!!. The Royal Nanny Massacre

[Royal Nursery | 8:00 AM]

Lord Finneas Royal Advisor

Today begins the Nanny Trials. Four elite childcare experts have been summoned from across the empire. We will find one who survives… I mean, suits the baby.

Crown Prince Kael 👑

This sounds like a gladiator match.(-_-)

Lord Finneas Royal Advisor

For legal reasons, it’s not.

Aster Baby

[drawing on the floor with mashed banana] ✨ [Image: a woman slipping on soap, labeled “in 14 mins”] ✨

Madame Petralia nanny 1

*Raised 17 noble brats Weakness: Overconfident*

Aster Baby

[gurgles adorably]

Crown Prince Kael 👑

He likes her?

[14 minutes later]

Crash. Screaming. Banana footslide incident confirmed.

Crown Prince Kael 👑

…One down.

Miss Periwig nanny 2

*“Creative development expert” Weakness: Believes babies should express emotions with interpretive dance*

Aster Baby

[silent stare] [slowly spits apple puree onto her notes]

Crown Prince Kael 👑

Okay, even I wouldn’t do that. And I once lit a throne room curtain on fire.

[10 mins later]

Miss Periwig is seen leaving in tears, covered in glitter and betrayal.

Nana Bloom nanny 3

*Ancient, wise, smells like cookies Weakness: Literally can’t see*

Aster Baby

[grabs her glasses and throws them into a fountain]

Nana Bloom nanny 3

Oh what a strong little cherub! Now where’s the window—

[Emergency bell rings]

Eliz nanny 4

* Applied accidentally. Was delivering soup. Weakness: Zero patience. Maximum sarcasm.*

Aster Baby

[throws spoon] [pouts]

Eliz nanny 4

No. Try again without attitude, potato.

Aster Baby

[blinks] [sits down quietly]

Crown Prince Kael 👑

How... how did she do that? (⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠?)

Lord Finneas Royal Advisor

I don’t know whether to hire her or crown her.

Later…

Aster Baby

*internally*(⁠ ⁠⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⁠⌢⁠⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀⁠) She smells like garlic and violence. I respect her.

Eliz nanny 4

I’m not a nanny. I just make soup.

Crown Prince Kael 👑

You’re hired.