Noah didn’t go back to the church for days after that morning. Not because he was ashamed or scared. Just… confused. Every time he looked in the mirror, he saw hands that had held him, lips that had kissed him gently, and eyes that made him feel like he mattered. That scared him more than anything.
Aurelio hadn’t reached out. But Noah didn’t expect him to. Whatever that night was—it wasn’t holy. And maybe that was why it felt so real.
He hadn’t planned to run into Aurelio again. But that’s how most things with meaning begin—unplanned.
The bookstore was quiet. A rainy afternoon, Noah browsing through the philosophy section while chewing on the tip of a pen. He heard the door chime and ignored it, until he heard a low, familiar voice ask the clerk about a title on Augustine.
Noah froze.
He turned slightly, and there Aurelio stood—umbrella folded, hair damp from the mist, black coat hugged to his tall frame.
Noah didn’t hide.
Their eyes met.
Aurelio blinked once. Then smiled. A small one.
“Hey,” he said.
Noah gave a tight smile back. “Shopping for holiness?”
“Something like that.”
Pause.
Noah turned back to his shelf. “I wasn’t avoiding you.”
“I didn’t think you were.”
“Just… needed time.”
“I know.”
Another pause. Then Noah said quietly, “Why didn’t you reach out?”
“Because I didn’t know what I was allowed to be for you.”
That made Noah look up again.
“Allowed?”
“You were fevered, hurting, vulnerable. I crossed something sacred.”
“I kissed you first.”
“You were still in pain.”
“So were you,” Noah whispered.
The silence between them wasn’t awkward anymore. Just thick with unsaid truths.
They left the store together. Walked in the drizzle.
Aurelio offered his umbrella. Noah declined.
They didn’t talk much.
At a small café, they shared coffee. Noah’s hands were trembling again.
Aurelio noticed. “You’re shaking.”
Noah smiled. “Not from cold.”
“From fear?”
“From hope.”
Aurelio placed his warm hand over Noah’s, looking in his eyes as if saying -
"I see you"
"I want you"
"I am sorry"
"I think I love you"
"Can I dream of you being mine?"
"Can we be together without any pain"
"Will God hate me if I say I can't live without you"
But he didn't say anything...he didn't say he loves Noah, he wants Noah, he feels too much that it hurts,,he fears saying it will make it all true and all wrong.
So he didn't say anything...just looked at the boy sitting in front of him.
They sat there, quiet, as the rain painted the city gray and gold.
When they parted that day, it wasn’t with a kiss.
But with a promise:
“I’ll come by,” Noah said.
“I’ll keep the lights on,” Aurelio replied.
And for both of them, that was the most sacred thing said that day.
Even holier than prayer.
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