Vows of a Poisoned Prince
Chapter 1
The sharp pain proves that the bullet punctured my chest
I'm not surprised he could do it.
Because he is the golden child. The one who gets everything. Even in storms, he always came first.
My knees hit the floor the same time he drops his gun
My vision blurs. He falls to his knees to. Probably, the shock hitting him of what he has done to his brother
The same brother he assured day and night that he wasn't less.
He said I deserved the world and all the love in it
My lips tip up in a painful curve when I see her behind him.
Teary. Scared. Shivering. From the cold or fear, I am not sure
And for once, I don't care. Don't let myself feel when she presses her hand to my brother's shoulder.
Even in pain, he wasn't alone. Unlike me
Even in death, I don't get a farewell.
The tears in his eyes drops the same time my body hits the floor. Painful with all the scars I carry.
Proof that I can love, just never be loved back. No matter how hard I try.
My eyes fall close, as my mother recites the final chapter of my favourite book, 'Forever, truly yours'
A book that I have read more times than I can count
My heart blooms as the protagonists get their happily ever after.
I laugh at my absurd thought
A human, always wishing for the impossible
I feel my mom's hand tremble as she caresses my head
Nothing like how a 29 year old should be.
My body shrinked to a size comparable to a 16 year old just more sick
My hairless head covered in a cloth so I see my pathetic self more patheticaly
I wonder when I am alone. What did I do to ever suffer this pain. This cruelsome sickness that no one should suffer
The smell of hospital disinfect is no longer unfamiliar to me.
My parents, my sweet, sweet parents, trying to come up with a smile so hard when I know they only want to lock themselves and cry to the world of how painful it is to watch their daughter suffer from Glioblastoma
Brain tumor that I once studied myself
What is the point of the youngest neurosurgeon, when I couldn't even safe myself
My closed I tremble as I feel tired to my bone
To keep fighting, when I know the result myself
No medication. No surgery can safe me.
All of it would simply prolong what I feel
Every day, I suffer, knowing I won't survive.
I am so selfish. So, so selfish.
My breath evens as I pray
Please Lord, unburden my them. If there is any other life, I wish my fate to be different
With my family and my very own happy ending.
Where I leave them with nothing but sadness and tears in their eyes
From distict I hear my parents wail. Loudly
But I don't make an effort this time.
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2025-06-24
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