Growing Pains and Goodbyes

A few weeks later, Johan and I kept chatting—and finally had our first call! Luckily, my parents and siblings were out, so I was home alone. We spent the hour playing multiplayer games and laughing together.

The call ended when my brothers came home. I opened the door, and suddenly one of them ran straight to the living room. Panic hit me—I’d forgotten to turn off my phone! It had shown my chat screen and, worse, I had just sent an “I love you” message.

I sprinted to catch him, but when I got there, thank goodness, my phone had locked itself after a minute of inactivity. Hopefully, my brother was distracted by the computer and hadn’t seen the message.

Relieved, I grabbed my phone and quickly texted Johan about the near disaster.

Months passed. Slowly, I noticed Johan wasn’t texting me as much. I was always the one waiting for his messages, afraid I’d seem desperate or needy if I reached out too often. I didn’t want to ruin the image I had of myself.

Worry crept in. Why hadn’t he messaged me? Was he sick? Did something happen? Maybe he didn’t have Wi-Fi or was busy with family or work.

Summoning courage, I finally messaged him first:

~ In Chat ~

Stephanie: Hey, how are you?

Johan: Oh, hello Amelia, I’m good.

He replied an hour...

Stephanie: Oh, that’s good to know

Johan: Uhm, I probably have something to say.

Stephanie: Yeah? What is it?

Johan: I’m trying to get off social media. I need a break. So, sorry if I don’t chat much.

Stephanie: No worries, it’s alright. Glad you’re okay though.

Judging by his message, he was going through a rough patch or just not in the mood to talk much. I decided to give him space.

By December, we barely chatted—just a few times. But he still tried to share some things about his life.

Then, out of nowhere, an unexpected storm hit.

~ In Chat ~

Johan: Hello, Amelia.

Stephanie: Hey! Want to know about my vacation?

Johan: Sure, what happened?

Stephanie: I had so much fun swimming! I saw a school of fish and even took pictures with a turtle!

Johan: Woah. Hmm… Let me guess—you were at Sunshine Coast, right?

Stephanie: Woah! How did you know?

Johan: I’ve been there several times. It’s amazing seeing schools of fish!

Stephanie: Oh! No wonder. That’s awesome!

Johan: Yeah...  Uhm, Amelia... I have something to tell you…

Stephanie: Sure! What is it?

Johan: This thing between us… can we end it? I never meant for it to go this way, I’m not gonna lie.

Stephanie: Oh…

Johan: It’s just that, as time went on, I realized I’m not ready. It’s not the right time. If possible, I’d like us to just be friends. I’m really sorry. And it’s Christmas too—I couldn’t keep this inside anymore.

Stephanie: Oh… I… Thank you for the days we spent together. I truly had fun. It’s your decision, and I respect that.

Johan: Thank you so much. I’m sorry again.

Stephanie: Don’t be. It was my fault for pushing too hard.

Johan: But I also take responsibility. I can’t deny that.

Stephanie: I guess we’re both at fault.

Johan: Yeah, we’re still young and inexperienced.

Stephanie: I’m glad it was you. Thank you, Johan.

Johan: Thank you, Amelia.

That was my first heartbreak. Not a single tear fell, but a piece of me shattered.

I was lucky—it was the start of Christmas break, so no school until January.

I confided in my friend about everything. She had mixed feelings and told me, “Take this break as your healing process. Besides, we’re meeting tomorrow for our project. I’m sure you’ll cheer up!” She even sent a 👽 emoji, which made me laugh even if I didn’t understand it.

The next day, I met my friends at their house to finish our project. We had so much fun, I almost forgot the heartbreak. My friend gave me a small present she won from a claw machine—a Giyuu plushie from Demon Slayer—one of my favorite animes!

We binge-watched Netflix and laughed so much. After a few hours, I had to leave. My mom said she’d pick me up.

The friend who knew about my heartbreak stayed to wait for me. She didn’t mention it again but tried to cheer me up with silly Giyuu moves.

When my mom arrived, she drove us near her workplace since she still had a few hours left before finishing. She asked if I had fun—and I did—but the breakup weighed on me, so I frowned.

She noticed, and we went somewhere to cool off and bought bubble tea together.

I was really happy she did that. We hadn’t spent quality time like that in a while—her work kept her busy, and she came home late most nights.

After a few hours, she went back to work and I went home, feeling thankful for the day I had and silently promising myself to keep moving forward.

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