Episode 4

Once upon a time there was a clumsy girl called Susan Ball. She was on the way to see her Maud Raymond, when she decided to take a short cut through Thetford Forest.

It wasn't long before Susan got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Miss Piggy, but Miss Piggy was nowhere to be found! Susan began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Miss Piggy. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, she saw a wicked donkey dressed in a blue skirt disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Susan.

For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed donkey. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Susan reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from red cabbages, a house made from toffees, a house made from crisps, a house made from toffees, a house made from jelly babies and a house made from doughnuts.

Susan could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.

"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Susan looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Susan a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Miss Piggy!

"Miss Piggy!" shouted Susan. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Miss Piggy back!" cried Susan.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Miss Piggy out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, five wicked donkeys rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Susan recognised the one in the blue skirt that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.

"Hello Big Donkey," said the witch.

"Good morning." The donkey noticed Miss Piggy. "Who is this?"

"That's Miss Piggy," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Miss Piggy would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the donkey.

The witch shook her head. "Miss Piggy is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Susan interrupted. "Miss Piggy lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Donkey ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Donkey looked at the house made from doughnuts and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from doughnuts if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next donkey. "I could eat two houses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Miss Piggy."

Susan watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Miss Piggy to Big Donkey. She didn't think Miss Piggy would like living with a wicked donkey, away from her house and all her other toys.

The other four donkeys watched while Big Donkey put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Donkey. "Just you watch!"

Big Donkey pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

And more.

Eventually, Big Donkey started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of toffees, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Donkey.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Donkey never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Miss Piggy remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Average Donkey stepped up, and approached the house made from crisps.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Donkey. "Just you watch!"

Average Donkey pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from crisps. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

And more.

After a while, Average Donkey started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

...and greener.

A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a donkey!" said Average Donkey.

"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Donkey, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the donkey away under his arm.

Average Donkey never finished eating the front door made from crisps and Miss Piggy remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Little Donkey stepped up, and approached the house made from toffees.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Donkey. "Just you watch!"

Little Donkey pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

And more.

After five or six platefuls, Little Donkey started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.

He stopped eating toffees for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.

But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Donkey into the sky.

"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Donkey. "I'm scared of heigh..."

Little Donkey was never seen again.

Little Donkey never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Miss Piggy remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Tiny Donkey stepped up, and approached the house made from jelly babies.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Donkey. "Just you watch!"

Tiny Donkey pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from jelly babies. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

And more.

However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Donkey's mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of jelly babies, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.

"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Donkey, and stomped off into the forest.

Tiny Donkey never finished eating the front door made from jelly babies and Miss Piggy remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Even-Tinier Donkey stepped up, and approached the house made from doughnuts.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Even-Tinier Donkey. "Just you watch!"

Even-Tinier Donkey pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from doughnuts. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

And more.

Suddenly, Even-Tinier Donkey stopped eating and started dancing. While he danced, he sang at the top of his lungs, "Doughnuts! Watch me eat all the doughnuts!"

"It looks as though the doughnuts are making you hyperactive," laughed the witch.

"Oh no they're not!" cried Even-Tinier Donkey. "I'm always this excited." With that, he walked into a tree.

Bong!

Even-Tinier Donkey banged his head and fell backwards onto his bottom. He passed out, exhausted.

Even-Tinier Donkey never finished eating the front door made from doughnuts and Miss Piggy remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Miss Piggy."

"Not so fast," said Susan. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from red cabbages. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the donkeys. She won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Susan.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Miss Piggy back."

Susan ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from red cabbages and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.

Susan sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Susan. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Susan's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from red cabbages. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Susan was down to the final piece of the door made from red cabbages. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. Susan had eaten the entire front door of the house made from red cabbages.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Miss Piggy or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Susan hurried over and grabbed Miss Piggy, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Miss Piggy was unharmed.

Susan thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Maud. It was starting to get dark.

When Susan got to Maud's house, her threw her arms around her.

"I was so worried!" cried Maud. "You are very late."

As Susan described her day, she could tell that Maud didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.

"What's that?" asked Maud.

Susan unwrapped a doorknob made from toffees. "Pudding!" she said.

Maud almost fell off her chair.

The End

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