Close Enough to Break
Julian’s expression shifted, a flicker of curiosity passing through his eyes as he leaned in just a little closer.
Julian
You’re scared it’ll ruin the friendship?
He asked gently, trying to read her expression.
Julian
Well, whoever he is… he’d be lucky. And if he’s your real friend, he won’t let something like that ruin it.
Maya forced a laugh, swallowing the lump in her throat.
She whispered, retreating into her thoughts.
Her words, her truth, it was right there, hanging between them, but still too heavy to say aloud.
They sat in silence for a moment, the stars glowing softly above them. The stillness was comforting, but to Maya, it felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, staring down into the unknown.
The next few weeks passed in a quiet blur.
Maya tried to shake the feeling..., this constant ache that pressed against her ribs every time she looked at Julian.
She threw herself into her art, painting sunsets with colors she didn’t feel anymore. Even her laughter started to sound rehearsed.
Julian, meanwhile, noticed the change.
She didn’t laugh quite as loudly.
She didn’t speak quite as much.
She looked at him with a sadness he couldn’t name.
One afternoon, while walking home after class, he glanced over at her.
Julian
You’ve been different lately. Distant.
Maya
Lots of stuff on my mind.
Julian nodded, though he didn’t believe her.
Julian
You know you can tell me anything, right?
Maya smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
Maya
I know. That’s what makes it so hard...
That night, Maya sat by her window, sketching the stars.
Her journal sat open beside her, a page filled with raw, scrawled words:
I love you, Julian. I’ve loved you for a long time.
But I can’t tell you. I can’t risk losing you.
So I’ll keep loving you in silence. And maybe that’s enough.
She closed the journal and hugged it to her chest, tears slipping quietly down her cheeks.
A few days later, Julian invited her on a spontaneous weekend road trip with some of their friends, a trip to the mountains, just a couple of hours away.
Maya hesitated, but eventually agreed. Maybe, she thought, she’d find the courage there.
The group rented a cabin near a lake, and the first day was filled with laughter, music, and the smell of roasted marshmallows. But that night, something shifted.
After everyone went to bed, Maya and Julian sat out on the dock, the moonlight shimmering on the water like scattered diamonds.
Maya
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful,
Julian said without thinking.
Julian met her eyes, and for a second, everything stopped.
Her breath caught in her throat.
But before she could respond,.. before she could ask if he meant it, Julian looked away with a small laugh, as if brushing off his own words.
Julian
Sorry. That was cheesy, wasn’t it?
Maya smiled weakly, hiding the chaos inside her.
Maya
A little. But it’s okay.
Later that night, as Maya lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling,
She whispered into the darkness:
Maya
I almost told you tonight.
Maya
But almost isn’t enough.
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