Episode 3

My head is a total mess, I never imagined this scenario, maybe because I stupidly believed Ricardo and thought that woman was dead, or because I never expected to see that I meant nothing to Saul. Even though he is still a child, I can't believe he's so foolish that he doesn't realize that I've always been by his side.

I was the one who loved him more than anything in the world, the one who spent sleepless nights taking care of him when he was sick, the one who told him stories and taught him to talk, walk, ride a bicycle. I feel miserable because I feel like I'm charging him for everything I was born to do for him, but the pain my heart feels right now is unlike anything else.

I always thought that at least I would have a small space in his heart or in his life, sadly I realize that I meant nothing and that I am disposable.

"Everything okay, Emily? You look very sad and dull."

"I have problems at home, my son..."

"Is something wrong with little Saul?"

"He's fine, it's just that he doesn't love me anymore."

"Woman, how can a son stop loving his mother? Surely it's just a tantrum, he'll get over it soon. Don't suffer so much, children are often ungrateful, especially when they enter adolescence. I owe you that one, friend."

Sami is right, I have to try harder and remind him that he doesn't have to choose between his mother and me. Saul can enjoy both at the same time.

After a long day of work, I return home and see my two men in the living room playing. - Good evening my dears, look Saul, I got the puzzle you wanted so much. I thought maybe after dinner we can put it together like all the previous ones.

"I don't want it anymore."

"Can we watch a movie? I rented your favorite one."

"Emily, I want to eat and go to bed."

I leave the gifts on the table and go to the kitchen, I'm not going to give up so easily, after dinner I'll have a little chat with him and show him that I don't hate his mother, on the contrary, I want him to see us both as allies to receive more love.

"I'm sorry, love, Saul is being very rude, but understand him."

"It's okay, don't worry."

"I know that this whole thing with Sabrina has turned our lives upside down, but I also know that you are a generous woman who won't blame the child."

"I'm never going to do that, I love him just as I love you."

"I love you much more, by the way, in a few days I have some business out of town, it's two days at most."

"Are they finally going to give you that promotion?"

"If everything goes well, I'm sure they will."

"I'm proud of you, love. I know you're going to achieve it."

Ricardo gives me a warm kiss that comforts me and then we go to the table to start eating, I see how Saul hurries and then quickly goes up to his room.

"Love, can you wash the dishes, I have to do something."

"Sure."

I go after my little one and see him drawing, I enter without making much noise and stay by his side. What are you drawing, honey?

"My family."

Saul has painted a mom who is clearly not me, a dad, and him in the middle of both.

"Is that a new house?"

"Yes, this will be the house where I'm going to live with mom and dad once you stop bothering us."

His words tear my heart apart. - Saul, I wanted to talk to you, I don't want you to see me this way, I'm not going to compete with your mom, on the contrary, I want us to get along so instead of one you can have two moms who love you much more.

"But I don't want that. I just want my mom and for her to be with my dad."

"Don't you love me anymore? I mean, you've known me forever, we're friends."

I see him hesitate and that fuels a hope in me until he blurts out the most painful words.

"I don't love you, you're nobody to me and because you're here, mommy can't live with me. I hate you for that and I want you to leave my house forever."

"Saul..."

"Because of you, mommy can't be with dad. Get out of my house and out of my life, Emily."

I can't help but cry full of anguish, what have I done so wrong for that sweet little boy to see me full of hatred. Behind this is that Sabrina who fills his head with her nonsense.

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