Making Plans

Drew

There were so many emotions that she couldn't keep up with everything around her. There was one thing niggling at the back of her mind. One question. It wasn't the right time. She came for one purpose, and that was reason enough to shove the question back down. She fulfilled her purpose for coming, and now it was time to leave before she allowed herself to fall further into Max.

She gave herself another moment to feel the old familiar safety. She allowed herself to take in the still familiar scent. She took note of the subtle changes in the other girl’s smell and realized the smell of alcohol was present and a mix of something else. A moment of jealousy occurred when she noticed the different scent and shoved it down as quickly as it came. There was no place to be jealous that Max had been with another woman. She couldn't expect that the other girl would remain celibate in their time apart.

Drew pulled away swiftly at the uncomfortable feeling that coursed through her body. The feelings she knew she never rid herself of. Max would have to do a lot more to earn her trust and adoration back. The thought threw her. That was not what this was about. If Max had wanted to be with her, she would have never left.

No, she would not go there. She deserved more than falling into the arms of a girl who could never say, “I love you.” She earned more than to be left with nothing more than a note with the words, Goodbye, I will return for you. She would never forget the words and the loss they brought into her life. She felt the anger return to her body as she stood.

Pulling out a notebook, she handed it to Max. She looked deep into cloudy eyes, “my address, number, work information, and some pictures I've saved over the years.” The finality of it all did not go unnoticed by either girl. “I leave tomorrow.” She looked down at her watch. “I leave in 5 hours, so I should go pack.”

As she turned towards the door, she felt a warm hand grasp her waist. She felt the woman's figure form to hers as she hugged her again. “Thank you, Drew.” Unspoken words hung thickly in the air. She waited for a moment until she couldn't handle it anymore. She needed to go before she did anything she would regret.

“I will fly out within the week to visit. May I meet him? I would prefer the others not to know I'm home until after I see him, but if you want things to go differently, that's fine by me. Whatever you want, Drew, whatever you need.” The weight of the words bared down on her as she mulled them over. If what Max had said was true, this would all be happening much faster than she originally anticipated.

“Call or text me first. Don't just stop by. I'll let you know what I decide.” She wasn't ready to make a full commitment. She knew Max and Junior would meet that was guaranteed. It was the when, where, and how that she was unsure of. “I won't keep him from you.” It was decided they would meet when Max returned home. “But don't come unless you intend to be a regular part of his life. I'm not saying you need to move back immediately or ever. I'm asking you not to come into his life only to walk away from him.”

It was unfair to say the last part. She knew Max's past and how her words would make her feel. The anger was overpowering her, and she couldn't find it in her to be cautious and thoughtful before she spoke. Whether she knew it for sure or not, she wouldn't risk her little boy’s heart. She wouldn't allow the heartbreak of someone coming and leaving. She would always protect him before anyone else.

“I would never..” she knew what the girl wanted to say. She knew deep down inside that she wouldn't leave him. “I know what it's like to be left.” Drew's body went rigid at Max's words.

“So do I!” Her voice raised harshly as venom spewed through her lips without a second thought. She couldn't reign it in, and if she were honest, she didn't want to. She had already accomplished what she came for. She left her son at home, and although it was only for a night, it was the furthest she had ever been from him. She missed him deeply. She never wanted him to feel this kind of pain. Nobody deserved the pain of losing a piece of their soul.

“I didn't mean…” the hand on her loosened as Max let out a deep breath. “I only meant that I know what it's like for your parents to leave you behind.” As quickly as the anger came, it disappeared. Drew was getting sick of this emotional rollercoaster that only Max could put her on. Her heart sunk for the other girl but not enough to make her take back her words.

Suddenly she felt the last string snap. Before she knew it, she was turned toward Max, angry blue boring into emerald green. “You have no idea what I have been through. I'm a 25-year-old single mom that went through this all alone while heartbroken. I told you I loved you, we made love, and you left me. I gave you everything, and not once did you think about me. I know about your biological parents, and I understand how that made you feel, but I didn't deserve your selfishness. I never deserved to be left with nothing more than a sentence scribbled on a sticky note. I gave you everything, and I have always bent over backward for you. But that will NOT happen this time. You will NOT be selfish this time. It's not about you and how you feel anymore. Junior is the only person who matters. I will protect him at all costs even if you get hurt in the process.”

She wasn't sure when it happened or how they ended up back at the couch. Max pressed hard against the cushions and Drew towering over her. Drew couldn't be bothered to care when she saw the flicker of hurt pass through Max's eyes. She was done holding back and keeping it all in to protect everyone else. She wouldn't stand down this time and let green puppy dog eyes break her resolve. Max needed to hear this and know how serious Drew was.

Straightening herself out, Drew took a step back. She felt her breathing quicken as she gathered her thoughts. If Max thought she was being harsh, that wasn't her problem. She deserved so much more than the small burst of anger the blonde had just released. Even though it was the angriest the blonde had ever been around her, there was still more bubbling in her stomach. With one last look, she turned around.

As she walked to the door, she could hear the choked cry from behind her. “I left because I was scared of how much I loved you.” It wasn't enough to make her turn around. It was more than she expected but not enough to go back to the girl behind her.

“Then you should have said it back. I deserved..” she couldn't finish her sentence as she opened the door. Walking into the cold air, she heard Max’s quick footsteps. She wouldn't turn around; she didn't want to do this right now. She felt fingertips grasping at her wrist, but she wouldn't stop. She needed to leave; this could be dealt with another day. She owed nothing to Max anymore.

“You deserved so much more, and I always knew that.” Max's words were lost in the wind as she felt fingers release her.

Quickening her pace, Drew walked away. It took twenty minutes, but she finally made it back to her hotel room. Falling into bed, she felt her resolve break as the tears flooded her pillow. Her body shook as her emotions overwhelmed her senses. She knew this would happen, but she wasn't prepared for it to be so soon.

Arms wrapped around her, and she was pulled against a warm body.

“It's okay, let it all out.”

For the first time, she finally let go of everything she felt. She knew she had to be up soon, but right now, she just needed to be held and cry over her own broken heart.

Max

She didn't sleep much; she couldn't get Drew out of her head. Her scent still invaded her senses, and her voice had reinvigorated her soul. She had expected to come home to an empty bed and fall asleep to the music she kept on to drown her thoughts. Drew threw a wrench into those plans with her unexpected visit.

She knew the conversation was overdue, but she struggled to keep up. Things started well, but then she was thrown a curveball she hadn't seen coming. A son. How had that happened? Obviously, she knew how he came to be, but she thought the pregnancy hadn’t taken. She found herself wishing she was there for the beginning milestones that she’d missed. Finding out, ultrasounds, birthing plans, baby showers, painting the nursery, the chaos of getting to the hospital, the birth, cutting his chord, naming him, the list could go on forever.

Maxwell Watson. He was a beautiful boy. She wanted a picture saved on her phone. Knowing Drew was probably already on the plane, she sent a text with a simple request. Will you please send me a picture or two of Junior? She sighed at the nickname Drew gave him. She hoped it was okay that she used it as well.

She was shocked at how quickly Drew responded. She looked at the pictures she received. One of Junior on his first birthday, one on his second, and a third of him snuggled into Drew both with beaming smiles and eyes staring directly into her own. A choked sob fell from her lips as she looked closely at the two. She searched the young boy’s face who wore her smile, her eyes, and her jawline. He was her little clone but somehow with Drew’s beautiful hair.

A knock brought her out of her thoughts as she set her phone down. Shuffling down the hall towards her door, she wasn't sure she could handle another unexpected guest. She didn't have friends here and wasn't expecting a delivery. She readied herself, knowing that Drew was not the only one who knew where she was now.

Opening the door, her heart soared at the visitor. She wasn't sure how this meeting would go, but if anyone other than Drew were to show up unannounced, she was glad this was who it was. Moving to the side, she allowed her visitor to step inside.

“You left Los Angeles for a dump.”

She suppressed the shocked smile that threatened to take over her face. Now was not the time to be excited. This conversation was bound to go south fast.

“I did.”

“When will you be returning home?”

Max shook her head, unsure of how to respond. “I would leave now if I could, but first, I need to square things away at work.”

She removed herself from the strained silence and grabbed two bottles of water.

When she walked into the room, the other figure was hovering by the door. “Get dressed. We’re going to breakfast.” She knew better than to disagree, so she dressed at record speed, joining her companion before they had time to realize she was gone.

The walk was tense as she thought of what to say. How could she explain herself to the only person who held more faith in her than Drew? The disgust with herself was back, and she groaned at the thought of the conversation that was going to come soon.

“I saw Drew after she left you. Care to tell me what happened?” Her head shot up at the words. Had they been with Drew? Drew didn't mention … shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she reached back into last night’s events.

She dove into the story of their conversation, as truthfully as she could. She knew this was her only shot to keep her companion from lashing out on her. Only stopping to order, she finished with how things were left. As the words tumbled from her lips, she felt as unsure as the moment Drew left her.

“You're working for an agricultural company now?” It was a rhetorical question; she knew they already knew the answer. Nodding her head, she waited patiently as the other person studied her face. “Do you want to move closer to Junior or only come for visits?”

Her heart sunk at the thought of Drew’s final words. She knew they were tame in comparison to what she deserved. “I would love to move closer, but that's entirely dependent upon Drew.” The truth slipped by without her giving it a second thought. She wouldn't miss any more time with her son as long as she was allowed to be in his life.

“Great. You start in two weeks.” Her forehead scrunched in confusion as she stared at her breakfast mate. “What about Drew and everyone else? I'm not so sure that anyone wants me back. Although, I only really care if Drew wants me around or not.” Max's nerves began to show as she spoke.

A laugh rang from across the table, and she felt her body loosen in relief. “Drew would not have come here if she had a problem with you possibly moving back.” The smile given to her gave her nerves a reprieve, and the coil in her stomach finally released. “It's time to come home, Max. Even if we didn't want you there, didn't want you around Junior, didn't want you around Drew..” the pause made her snap her head up “she would never allow any of herself or us to keep you away.”

For the first time in a long time, she felt relief as the food was placed in front of her. No words were needed as the two ate in silence. “Where would I live if I took you up on your offer?” The offer was generous, and she couldn't deny she wanted to take it.

“Temporarily, with Ruby.” Shock coursed through her veins. How would she face her sister? Her sister would surely murder her the moment she saw her. Did Ruby know about this plan? What would she say? How would she reconnect with the older girl who always protected her? The person she abandoned, just as their parents had left them.

“It was her idea when everyone discussed possibilities.” Family gatherings. She missed that most. When everyone would get together to discuss anything, everything, and nothing at the same time, despite her wanting to visit Drew secretly, it seemed that everybody else had other ideas. “She wants you to come home, too.”

“Mr. Jackson..” her words were cut off by a loud laugh.

“When have you ever called me Mr. Jackson?” He was right. Not even when they first met had she called him anything other than Jason. She allowed herself a small smile at the thought. “It’s a good opportunity, Max. It would be a move up instead of down or lateral.” As he went over the details of the job, she listened intently.

She didn't need to be convinced, but it was nice to focus on something else at the moment. Something other than the way her life had been turned upside down. Jason always knew when she needed a shift in focus, so he continued to talk until he sensed she was ready. He looked at her with a smile across his face.

“I don't deserve it do I?” The fear slipped into her voice before she could pull it back.

He mulled her question over for a minute before he responded. “As the father of the girl who's the heart you shattered, no.” Her heart dropped at his words. “As an employer, I've seen your record and your performance. Your awards are how we finally found a place to keep searching for you.” It finally came together, how they had found her. She didn't think that her recent awards were national, but she was wrong. “As the man who has watched you grow up and thinks of you as a second daughter, you deserve nothing less. It's time to come home.”

He was right. Jason was always right. In his smile, she saw so much of Drew. In the tenderness he possessed and the way he talked about her and talked to her after everything, she knew where Drew’s innate goodness came from. She silently hoped that Junior would learn that same trait through Drew’s nurturing. She could see the love beaming through his eyes. It wasn't until she thought over his last words that her heart leaped. Jason loved her regardless of her wrongs, and at that moment, she knew that even if she had no one else by her side, she had Jason. How had she been so blind to the love surrounding her?

“You got through the easiest barrier. The rest may eat you alive.” Jason’s joke made her happiness wash away. Upon returning home, she would face plenty of angry individuals that would make Drew’s anger seem like child's play. “You may want to make sure Junior is around when you first see Annie." Max paled as Jason laughed. She was beyond grateful that it was Jason that came with Drew.

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