Phase 2 Part 2

21

My heart said you’re the one.

It lied.

Or did I lie to my heart?

22

It’s hard to let you go.

It’s harder to move on.

Because deep down I know  the choices are in my hand.

And that’s scary.

23

If we meet years from now,

will I fall again,

will I feel regret,

will I find closure?

24

If I stop falling in love, would I be free from this pain?

If I let you go, would I be free from regret?

If I moved on, would I be able to forget you?

Among all questions in my mind, I just know I’ll never question our meeting.

25

I feel that we’re connected, or do I lie to myself?

I feel that we’re meant to be, or is it another lie?

I feel we can conquer the world, and perhaps everything’s a lie.

Cause I never want the world.

26

What’s scary is not you not loving me back.

It’s the what-ifs I can’t stop thinking about.

27

Loving you is enough.

I’ll love you till the end of time.

I’ll swim across the sea of pains fighting for that love.

But that kind of love is fated to die.

28

I never fear that you don’t love me.

I find it normal.

I just fear that I don’t really love you and waste my all to this fake love.

Never knowing what real love really is.

29

I love you so much I close my heart for others.

That’s my blind loyalty.

That’s my foolish loyalty.

And now I pay the price.

30

Now I know, the borderline of love and obsession is where I start to close my eyes to everything else but you.

31

I prepared myself about the pain you’d cause.

The hurt from a broken heart.

I just never prepared myself to be loved by you.

That’s where it started going wrong.

32

My heart beats for you before it beats for me.

My tears cry for you before they cry for me.

My smile blooms for you before it blooms for me.

That’s how I know we’ll never work.

33

You show me a possibility.

A dream that will complete me.

But that’s the thing,

you’re never my reality.

34

I didn’t ask for your love.

I only asked if we’re really meant to be.

I guess the question is wrong from the beginning.

35

I keep getting further from you.

That’s my choice.

That’s me getting my free will back.

Although pain is the price.

36

I finally learnt a key lesson in love.

We won’t fall in love with anyone else if we’re both in love.

So when I realise we’re not, I can walk out with no regret.

37

I trip and fall in love but no one catches me.

I have no one to blame if it’s not my love.

So I leave the road to your love.

38

I’m running away from love by loving you.

I lock myself away from love by loving you.

At some point, I know I can’t keep running away and that’s also when I stop loving you.

39

I lost myself by loving you.

It’s not worth it so I stop.

40

Loving for so long to end in a single moment.

It could happen.

Note:

You can listen to my podcast if you want to know more about this book.

You can check my channels here: https://egapersona.tumblr.com/mypersona

And follow my twitter and instagram @egapersona

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***