ie this your first time writing...not to be rude or pinpoint on ur story bt the dialogue gives a robotic feeling second thing u are showing too much story of side characters...u should have time skip and focus more on fl and these story could then used a flashback or their involvement even the character name is too confusing when u write relations it seems immature ...i appreciate ur hardwork ...bt just ur work need polishing
Comments
Raksh Zameer
ie this your first time writing...not to be rude or pinpoint on ur story bt the dialogue gives a robotic feeling second thing u are showing too much story of side characters...u should have time skip and focus more on fl and these story could then used a flashback or their involvement even the character name is too confusing when u write relations it seems immature ...i appreciate ur hardwork ...bt just ur work need polishing
2025-05-11
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