Episode 2

I’d say it’s quite rude of her, but…I’ve made my peace with it—at least I thought I had until I went and fell for Jameson.

Enter the hot bad boy covered in ink. College love.

If you haven’t guessed it yet, I have all kinds of daddy and mommy issues. As if all of those weren’t enough to fùck up my life, I have grandma issues to top it all off.

Blah blah blah…

Now you’re starting to think I’m boring, and we can’t have that.

Let’s talk about one-night stands instead. Those are fun, right? You’re skirting around love, smiling at each other, feeling all dizzy and ditzy with the excitement that you might score a good one, enjoy the feeling of having someone else’s skin on yours, his hot breath, the heat, that blasted bliss you get to experience for a few seconds when he manages to hit that sweet spot—if he hits that sweet spot. Those are all awesome things, I agree. Hell, I encourage you to experience all those feelings, especially if he has some good inches on him.

Don’t be a b!tch; be a calm, happy waterfall.

Roar at life. In life.

Don’t be closed off; be as free as a raindrop.

Most important of all: live.

My greatest advice to you all is, whatever you do, don’t go back to the spectacular one-night stand you had just to satisfy your traitorous body’s needs if you’re trying to stay away from love, have your fun, live a little, love someone for a single night and then move on. Because if you keep going back to the same guy, oh, I don’t know…about a hundred times…eventually what will happen is that you’ll start to have feelings for said guy.

Look at that—I have a heart after all. Didn’t expect that, did you? So you start to fall in love just like I did. Slowly. At first, you might feel a trickle of something you can’t name because of how well he wields that huge c0ck of his (by the way, that’s called an org@sm, not love). He’ll zap you with all kinds of feelings when he is using it on you. And yes, he’ll be that good; heartbreakers tend to be good in the sack.

More for you to cry over when they’re done with you. Goody, right?

But then you’ll foolishly start to put more meaning behind the Big O you experience every time he is near you with that monster c0ck. And then his smile will start muddling the waters, or the way he touches your face, or the way he looks at you when you take off your shirt in front of him—all smoldering and sh!t. Then those wicked words of his will make their way into your heart and brain. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll start to feel safe because he seems to genuinely care for you. Then somehow, before you have the chance to back up…before you even realize what your heart is doing behind your back…Boom!