chapter 3

After living Floyd flabbergasted , My emotions kept rising up, and I don't know why. My emotions were a mixture of love and hate towards Floyd. I felt good and bad after doing that to Floyd. Floyd deserved that to be honest and in my mind he was a complete jerk. Don't get me wrong junior was caring and all, but he was not my type, and mostly I regarded him as my brother and pillar of support. He was there whenever I needed him .we got to the class and sat down and the atmosphere was quiet. The rumor of me being gay was still growing like a wildfire. I broke the ice between him, and me and he began to smile, and it was not my cup of tea to break an awkward moment as I was awkward too.

It was after school and junior asked me to wait for him at the gate because he had an unfinished business to do in the school. I waited for me and while waiting for him something unexpected happened. Floyd came to me with his boyfriend (he was cute, but I was more freaking cute and pretty than him) and he was accompanied by some of his friends. They started to mock me and I decided to remain quiet like nobody's. It was best to stay quiet. They continued to mock me, but after some time junior came to my rescue. Juniour started to exchange words with them and asked if I was okay but that question somehow made Floyd to make an unhappy face. I told junior I was okay, and I requested to go home as I was unhappy and freaking sad.

I got home and to make matters worse the was a family meeting at home.All the elders of our clan where present, and they were very much intimidating. I greeted and went to my room and changed clothes .I wore a short and a loose T-shirt, and they suited me, but the problem was my body because it made me more like a woman. They called me and I attended them as they wanted me to be present. I did not know why the was a meeting, but I got a hunch when my uncle started to talk about gays. They asked me if I was gay, and I denied, but they still asked me and I still denied.I wish I could come out of the closet, but I knew what was going to happen if I do.My clan hated gay and they did not hide it. I would come out but if I come out I will have no one ,literally no one and I will be thrown out meaning I will have no place to stay.

That day was a reaching point to me, and it made me have suicidal thoughts. I knew my parents would have supported me. I slept but woke up because of a nightmare regarding my parents death, and it was a common thing towards me, I hated my world and I wish to commit suicide but I was not brave enough. It was morning and I have to prepare to go to one of the place I called hell which is school but what pushed me to go to school was that it was my final year, and it was a matter of time before I could finish school.

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