Payton

A raindrop rolls down the back of my hand, beading on my fingertip before falling to the carpet
?
?
Such a stupid girl
Payton
Payton
I’m not stupid!
The shout is out of me before I realize what I’ve done.A large, weathered hand shoots out, gripping my throat. Cutting off my air
Payton
Payton
𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱
My fingers claw at the hand, nails scratching at flesh, catching on that damn gold pinky ring he wears. But it’s useless, I’m not strong enough to break his hold on me
?
?
Not stupid, huh*sneers*
The hand tightens. His sneered words blurring in my mind as my brain begs for oxygen
Tears streak from my eyes. Maybe I am stupid. Worthless like he always says. Finally, weakness softens my limbs, and my knees give out. His fingers release my neck as I collapse to the floor
?
?
Fat and stupid.
He wipes his hand on his jeans like he’s trying to wipe away the disgust of touching me
Fighting for breath, I watch as he turns his back and walks away, like nothing happened. My body jolts as I gasp for air
Nero
Nero
sweet girl
The murmur doesn’t sound like the voice that haunts my nightmares. But I can still hear it. I can still feel his hand on me, fingers around my neck
Blinking back the dream, my hands blindly reach up to push him away even though I know he’s not here. It’s just a memory. No one is touching—
Payton
Payton
𝘖𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘥, 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦?!
Nero
Nero
Breathe
The hand that I thought was trying to choke me presses against my breastbone. The warmth from his palm seeps into my chest, causing my lungs to stop seizing
Nero
Nero
Just breathe, Sweet Girl
I’m going to blame exhaustion and confusion for the tears that fill my eyes, not the kindness in his voice. Not hearing him call me sweet after the vivid and vicious memories of being called stupid.
Nero
Nero
Hush
His hand slides a fraction lower, his standing body bent over my reclined form
Nero
Nero
You’re fine now
My lungs fill with another shaky inhale, and I nod
Fabric shifts underneath my fingers, and I glance down to see I’m gripping his forearm with both my hands.
I let go as quickly as I can, moving my hands back to my blanket. But his palm prevents me from being able to lift the blanket back to my chin. Our gazes are locked together, and I startle when he speaks again.
Nero
Nero
What’s his name?
Payton
Payton
Wh-whose name?
Nero
Nero
The man who laid his hands on you. Tell me his name.
I suck in more air. My heart continues racing, but the reason for it is shifting. Morphing from fear to… something else.
Payton
Payton
Why do you want to know?
Nero
Nero
Call it morbid curiosity.
When I don’t reply, he leans closer, applying a little more pressure where his hand is touching me
Nero
Nero
I bet you’ve never told anyone. I bet you did as you were told.
I can feel his exhale against my lips.
Nero
Nero
Break the rules for me, Sweet Girl. Put yourself first and give me a name.
There’s a part of me that knows I should stay silent, but I ignore it.
Payton
Payton
Arthur
He makes a humming sound before slowly straightening, his thumb drawing a line between my collarbones, before leaving me completely when he stands.
Nero
Nero
Now, let’s make a deal
He breaks eye contact with me when he looks down to fasten his suit coat. I swallow, but don’t say anything as I wait for him to continue
Nero
Nero
I won’t tell Arthur you’re the one that sent me, and you don’t tell anyone about tonight
I blink up at him.
Payton
Payton
𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘦…? 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥?
Nero
Nero
Tell me you agree, Payton.
His voice is firmer now and hearing him say my name sends a burst of electricity down my spine.
Payton
Payton
𝘏𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦?
Looking into his beautifully haunting eyes, I whisper
Payton
Payton
I agree
He takes a step backwards.
Nero
Nero
Good
I steel myself, knowing I’ll hate myself later if I don’t ask.
Payton
Payton
What’s your name?
He pauses, and for a moment I think he’s going to tell me. But then he turns away from me and heads toward my front door
Nero
Nero
It’s safer if you don’t know
Payton
Payton
Safer for who?
Nero
Nero
Both of us.
He’s reaching for the handle when he pauses, and I follow his gaze down to the basket of laundry I left by the door. I sit up and watch, eyes wide, as he bends down and picks up a pair of my underwear from the top of the pile.
Payton
Payton
Those are dirty
The man smirks at me over his shoulder, as he shoves them into his pocket. My mouth pops open, as is becoming my habit. I don’t know what to say.
He unlocks the deadbolt and pulls the door open, the light from the hallway spilling in, lighting up his features as he turns just enough to look at me.
Nero
Nero
Keep your doors closed, Payton. Leaving them open could be seen as an invitation.
Then, just as silently as he arrived, he leaves

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