Let Me Be Your's Episode °3

Author: Let me finishes the Lyla life with this episode or 2 more episodes...So I can get into main story

Lyla [FL]

° Fl -P.O.V- °

let me start telling about my life which was very painful from my childhood because I have gone through a physical abuse

yes a physical abuse which done by my own mother .... actually my mother was mentally unstable but my dad took care of mother very well ...

by medicine she got well but still you know she was still unstable person....

You guys by now must have thinking that my father took care of my mother well so he must be a great person but unfortunately he had an affair which was the main reason to have my mother go insane

My mother was totally insane

I have seen all the insane she done when I'm alone with her in home

For one week I was abused....rather than saying abused....I was harassed by her

Yes...my own mother harassed me...

Everything stuck when it happened....

Even now when I think....it make me disgust myslef...

And minds automatically goes to the pin I gone through

.....

Then with courage I told father.....and father took action

You know... typical Indian family

So father threatened mother he will divorce her so behave well

And What fucking more than that hell was my relative

father told what happened to his side of relatives

All those fucking relatives was giving me a eye and saying don't be afraid or anything and blah blah blah ...

I felt all disgusted by those fake concerns

After all these things ....Another problem was my elder brother

🙄 2 years apart - elder brother

Father always made sure brother does a good job in his college

So I will always take his same path

but does my father know I study well than my brother

And I have my own dreams

Brother may obey father

Nor I can say Father obeys brother

so basically father pushes to do whatever brother does

That's all....all my privacy gone because brother was like a king in my life who can control the mere person like me

Starting of college

Zhan became my lover

I thought he loves me and loves the way I'm

But fuck it up man!!!

It was only few months our relationship was normal

Then all sort of nonsense was coming from my so called lover

he started to pressure me that I'm not his type so change yourself

He fucking wants me to change into his type after loving nearly 6 months

Ofcourse A person can't change her personality easily

So I struggle and struggled

Eventually things got worse

He started to find fault in me , in every action I do....

Then I started to go insane.... because he says I'm a shit....a useless person...

Moreover

at end he says "your not the person I loved"

Lyla [FL]

Fucking bastard

Lyla [FL]

Asking me change my personality and my dressing sence into whole different damn to his type

Lyla [FL]

And having guts to say that I'm not being same

Lyla [FL]

I want to punch on his face

Lyla [FL]

But still as he said I'm useless

Lyla [FL]

It just I drowned into the depression....

Lyla [FL]

And I got tested by doctor on my own

Lyla [FL]

And said I got extreme depression

Lyla [FL]

And....to get relief from all this pain....I hit....I injury myself

Lyla [FL]

I'm turning into something which I don't want to ....

Lyla [FL]

One side....I have do something which is not my passion...

Lyla [FL]

another side....I have endure all the curse and abuse things from my boyfriend

Lyla [FL]

And my father whom I loved so much also started to care less of me

Lyla [FL]

It feels like everybody is fake around me....

Lyla [FL]

No friends...no happiness....

Lyla [FL]

Just painful.... dizziness reality

Lyla [FL]

all theses things only known to my dear pillow

Lyla [FL]

I always pray to god that please let me die

Lyla [FL]

Because I'm useless in this world....

Lyla [FL]

I say to god that....let me get into any accident and die

Lyla [FL]

So ... everybody will be free from this useless shit

Lyla [FL]

I'm always at my room

Lyla [FL]

full of darkness

Lyla [FL]

Just my cries

Lyla [FL]

just my talks with walls and moon

Lyla [FL]

Admire myself in mirror alone

Lyla [FL]

Being a doll to myself

Lyla [FL]

A pathetic person I'm

Lyla [FL]

Have no reason to live

Lyla [FL]

Only wants to die

Lyla [FL]

I have lost my interest and everything

Lyla [FL]

And slowly I'm losing my emotions too

Lyla [FL]

I have noticed...how blankly I'm looking

Lyla [FL]

at the mirror

Lyla [FL]

and thinking how it could be if I'm dreached in blood

Lyla [FL]

I know I'm going crazy....but who is there to help me

Lyla [FL]

And I Love this craziness which growing within me

Lyla [FL]

Only thing that keep me sane person is books

Lyla [FL]

I read all kind of fiction and jon fiction

Lyla [FL]

Those were the dreamlands of mine

Lyla [FL]

A place to escape from reality