CHAPTER- TWO: DARK DAYS

I walk upon the railings of the school rooftop. I can hear the gunshots, blended with the roaring of bombs ripping and tearing through the city. The earth shook as if in fear as the twisted and demented orchestra continued. The ceaseless drumming of artillery shells and bombs surrounds me as black pillars of smoke rise high and painted the sky dark. The winds carrying the bitter smell of gunpowder brush my cheeks as I gaze up. I’m used to the scent by now, though, so it’s not so bad. The sky itself looks dull and grey, like always. It expressed no meaning, a mere reflection of the lives of those who bothered to look up... I regret it all...

I am... or was a teacher at this school. You can’t have a teacher without students, can ya? Haha... Yeah... All of them are dead. They were killed, no, murdered... by soulless bastards with no sympathy nor humanity. Those dirty fucking scumbags... I’m angry, but I can’t be bothered to be. Grief is much more powerful, much more potent than that. I fuckin’ regret it...

Why do I regret it all you ask? Well, it’s because I helped those heartless bastards. Unknowingly, of course... I didn’t... know. It was just my job to report to Father. The 270 birds, 150 turtles and the locations of the anti-aircraft guns. I did not know. I had no regrets then because I did not know. “Blissfully ignorant” as they call it. But now? I could feel it tearing and gnawing at my sanity. I want it to go away... please... I didn’t know...

I’ve been working as a teacher for more than a year now. I’ve only had one class before all of this happened. How, you ask? Well, in Talone, a teacher would teach one class for a whole year, and then after that, they would teach the next class for a whole year. So, corresponding to the subjects, a class would have five teachers: Math, Literature and... other things like Biology, Physics and History. I taught Literature. Yes, not exactly the most exciting nor the most intriguing of subjects, but that was the subject assigned to me by HQ. Couldn’t have had it any other way. The students all hated Literature, and I agree with their reasons for the most part. I mean, why the hell would you need to know about the works of some dead man hundreds of years ago in the real world? The answer is: you don’t. Haha... but that... doesn’t really matter now, does it? They’re all gone... dead, killed, murdered whichever way you put it. They’re gone. They don’t need their paps teaching them anymore...

I was a “father”. I had no wife nor children, but I was, in every aspect, a father. I was a father to my students, so kind and so sweet. I loved them! I loved them all... Oh, how I regret it so much now. My children...

Other than being a teacher, I was, no... am a Beholder. “Once a Beholder always a Beholder”. What’s a Beholder, you ask? Well, I’d like to describe it as bird watching and counting animals. Steel birds painted blue with bombs inside their bellies, and armoured animals with 78mm gun turrets. I counted their numbers then I reported back to my “Father”. He loves my reports because, with them, he can fuckin’ kill everyone and “serve the country”. “Our” country, he said. Fucking cunt... He traded the lives of those in Ashkan for the lives of those in Willova. He had the bloody audacity to weigh and trade human lives. In the end, I’m amongst those traded away...

I was a damn good Beholder, too. But after I served my country, he threw me away. It was the most logical of options; I was just not worth the effort. There are many fit to replace me. Hell... I can’t even figure out how I’m going to escape this siege. So, he left me to die. He left me here so I can watch the folks here get slaughtered, and to watch the city burn. It was all my fault in the end. And I regret it...

But, no more regrets, I’m tired and sick of this shit. Life... is just not worth it anymore — the pain, the suffering — that’ll never change for me. Even if I do live on and claw my way out from the ashes of this city, this feeling of regret will never leave me. It’s just going to gnaw at me until the end of my days. I want to be without regret... No more regrets... No more...

The grey ground below and the grey sky above, it only takes a second for a man to fall to his death from here.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***