Canto 3: So Close, Yet So Far

"Are you back for good this time around?"

Striding along the corridor of Dream Stars' building, Li Wei nodded in response to KKS' gentle question. While an autocratic man by nature, Li Wei knew that his overbearing nature hid a sensitive heart.

He merely thought he knew everything, and that what he was doing was for the best interests of the people he loved. Yes, he did love all the artists under him, just that he was going about it in the wrong manner.

Even though Li Wei had never signed with his company, nor had any business dealings with him, he was more than familiar with this man due to his close relationship with Chen Yuqin.

He was a frequent visitor to Dream Star Entertainment, dropping by whenever he was free to check up on Chen Yuqin, and as a result, he came to know KKS quite well, actually, even better than the artists and staff under him as he could understand his way of thinking better than any of them.

An unlikely friendship had sprung up between them, amusing everyone around them. They actually sought out each other to go for drinks, like men do whenever troubles were bugging them. In fact, rather than friends, their relationship resembled a surprising camaraderie, like a doting uncle with his favorite nephew.

"You know you can confide anything in me, right?"

Li Wei offered a short nod.

"Have you resolved whatever problem it was that you left to do?"

"Ahjussi, don't worry too much about me," Li Wei chuckled, glancing sideways at the older man whose gaze held a flicker of worry.

Though KKS hadn't pressured him for the reason behind his sudden departure, Li Wei found amusement in the not-so-subtle looks he kept sending his way. It was clear the older man was dying to pry any details out of the unnaturally close-mouthed Li Wei. Subtlety was a virtue that still eluded KKS.

"So, what are your plans this time around?"

Seemingly defeated, KKS's shoulders slumped. A frown played on his lips, frustrated at his inability to glean anything from the ever-secretive Li Wei. He knew there must be a good reason for his departure.

The Li Wei he knew was a pillar of maturity and dependability, the kind of man who wouldn't leave everyone hanging, especially not when they cared about him. His sudden disappearance clashed with his dependable nature, and KKS resigned himself to waiting for Li Wei to reveal his reasons on his own terms.

"Well, I recently took a role in a drama and-"

"Wait, did I hear you correctly? You, the great Leo, acting in a drama?" Incredulous, KKS halted in his tracks, surprise causing his voice to jump an octave higher.

"Yes, I'll be acting in a drama," Li Wei replied wearily, having faced the same bewildered reaction from everyone he'd told. This exaggerated response was getting old.

"The music genius Leo, who only knew to hide in his studio, writing and producing songs, is actually considering taking up acting?"

"Ahjussi, I didn't exactly consider taking up the drama. I already took up the drama. I actually finished filming it last month, and it's up for airing in a fortnight."

The older man's mouth gaped open in astonishment at his words. The astonished look on KKS's face made Li Wei wonder if he'd just confessed to a bank robbery.

Li Wei's grimace spoke volumes about his annoyance.

"After all the times we've all tried to push you into acting, you finally decide to do it now? You were always so against it! What changed your mind?"

"I just wasn't ready then," Li Wei muttered.

"And you are now? You can stay silent, but don't insult my intelligence with lies."

KKS's voice betrayed his growing anger. He'd never known Li Wei to be so flippant, especially when faced with genuine concern. It was as if the honest, earnest Li Wei he admired had vanished, replaced by a stranger in Li Wei's familiar shell.

"If you don't want lies, Ahjussi," Li Wei said, his voice flat, "Stop asking questions you know I won't answer..."

Running a hand through his wavy locks, Li Wei muttered a sigh, the weight of his unspoken burdens evident. Who wouldn't change after all he'd been through? He knew he had changed.

Since young, he had used his bright smiles to cover all vulnerability, hiding his emotions behind the mask of gaiety. He convinced himself and everyone else that as long as he was smiling, he was happy. No matter what happened, as long as he could keep the smile on his face, it would be alright.

Over time, it became his habit, and eventually, his very nature.

The difference between the Li Wei then, and the Li Wei now, was a chasm. The once ever-present smile had vanished, replaced by a distant look in his eyes that seemed to see through, rather than at, the world.

His emotions felt like a vast, empty landscape, devoid of warmth or vibrancy. And he was at a loss of what to do. The smiling mechanism that he had always depended upon had failed him completely now. He could no longer maintain the eternal smiling mask, and his world seemed to be turned upside down because of it.

Fortunately for him, the support of his group members over the past few months, especially the exposure to the boisterous nature of the Aria members, and particularly Chen Yuqin's smile and laughter, helped. The ice surrounding his heart thawed, bit by bit, allowing emotions to seep in little by little.

He was learning how to smile again, and to mean it, not just the mere twisting of his lips. He knew that returning to the group, despite his initial reluctance, was the right decision. It was only back here, in their company, that he could recover.

Now, more than usual, writing songs had become a necessity for Li Wei. While he usually funnelled all his emotions into his work, it had now become the only time where he felt truly alive, where he actually felt something.

He channelled all his emotions into the songs he wrote, which was why he rather cooped himself inside his recording studio all day, than to accept any roles in dramas even though it offered more popularity, and higher pay.

He used to feel that he was already acting enough in his everyday life, and he did not need more reason to slip on another layer of mask above his own. Stubbornly, he refused all drama and musical offers, declining to take up any form of acting to the frustration of his fellow members, managers and friends, KKS included.

Besides, he wasn't particularly driven by the allure of fame and fortune. Financial stability was all he needed. He was content to let the other members chase the spotlight, happy to stay in their shadows. However, despite his lack of ambition, his popularity skyrocketed, much to his own bewilderment.

He'd be endlessly amused if he discovered the reason for his immense popularity was his easygoing nature. It was his lack of ambition that set him apart from other celebrities. His genuine earnestness and unwavering cheerfulness resonated with many female fans, resulting in an individual fan base rivaling that of his fellow members.

"Yah, Li Wei! Are you ignoring me now?"

The indignant voice of KKS sliced through his reverie, jolting him back to the present.

"I'm sorry, what did you say again?"

"I said, what's the name of the drama you're acting in?"

With clenched teeth, KKS repeated his question with exaggerated patience.

"Oh, it's-Chen Yuqin."

"Chen Yuqin.. What? I'm asking you the name of your drama--"

"Ahjussi, look."

Tilting his chin towards the other end of the corridor, Li Wei waited while a confused KKS followed his direction, comprehension dawning as he caught sight of a seemingly morose Chen Yuqin walking towards them.

Though he had anticipated this encounter, his heart still clenched at the sight of her walking towards them. Even from a distance, he could see that something was troubling her. With her brows knitted together in a slight frown, and her mouth moving silently, Li Wei couldn't help but feel a familiar flutter in his chest.

She still hadn't changed. She was still talking to herself whenever she was upset, and somehow, that small habit of hers made him feel at ease. That some things in life would remain unchanged even if he had changed.

His heartbeat hammered a frantic rhythm as she drew closer. Months of covert protection hadn't prepared him for the sheer intensity of seeing her so near. Closing his eyes for a fleeting moment, a phantom sensation of her familiar perfume tickled his senses.

"God, she's still as beautiful as ever." This thought echoed in his mind, a cliche rendered fresh by the raw power of her presence.

"Yukee," KKS called out as she neared, casting a searching glance at the silent young man beside him. KKS was one of the few who had guessed the depth of Li Wei's feelings towards the young girl, and Li Wei was always more careful with his displays of emotion around him.

Aware of KKS's scrutiny, Li Wei's mask remained firmly in place, a blank canvas revealing nothing of the storm brewing beneath the surface. His hand, clenched into a fist, unconsciously pressed against the cool wall, creating a physical barrier as she walked past, seemingly oblivious.

"Yah, Chen Yuqin! Are you going to ignore me?" The older man hollered incredulously as he realised that his artiste was actually going to ignore his presence, walking past him as if he was invisible.

"Sa-sajang-nim! I'm sorry, I didn't see you!"

Li Wei saw the startled reaction flicker across her face as she whirled around, eyes wide with shock as she apologized to her clearly upset CEO. Ever vigilant, he spotted her wobble even before she did. In a flash, he was at her side, his fingers instinctively wrapping around her arm to steady her.

"Be careful," he managed, the simple words laced with a wealth of unspoken emotions. The warmth of her skin beneath his touch, a fleeting contact restricted to her arm, sent a jolt through him.

It was a spark that ignited a dormant inferno within. Joy, sorrow, regret, guilt, and pain – a torrent of emotions surged through him, threatening to overwhelm.

Knowing his vulnerability, he released her the moment she regained her footing, taking a quick step back. His palms still tingled with the phantom touch, and he clenched them into fists, his body rigid beside her.

Li Wei noticed the flicker of recognition in her eyes the moment she heard his voice, and his heart soared. He held his breath as she turned, their gazes locking. In that electric moment, titles and past facades dissolved. He was Li Wei again, the one who held her heart (in a way), and she was Chen Yuqin, his fierce friend, his muse. Years seemed to melt away, replaced by a familiar comfort.

Despite the now-familiar ache in his chest, a reluctant smile tugged at his lips.

"Hey kiddo, missed me?" he croaked out, his heart clenching at the flicker of delight that flitted across her eyes before morphing into a dangerous glint. Li Wei sighed inwardly, bracing himself for the inevitable.

"Bastard!"

His head snapped to the side with a comical yelp as her palm connected with a resounding smack.

He winced, rubbing the growing red imprint on his cheek with a grimace that couldn't quite extinguish the goofy grin spreading across his face. Somehow, the sight of her fiery temper sent a thrill through him. She still cared.

“Well, I'm glad we got that out of the way,” Li Wei muttered as he rubbed his reddening check ruefully.

The moment he had decided to come back, he knew this was the only outcome for their first meeting. Knowing KKS well enough, he lifted a palm just in time to halt the older man before he launched into a lecture, berating Chen Yuqin for daring to lift a hand onto him. At the older man's surprised gaze, Li Wei merely shrugged in response.

"I knew that was coming."

His reply left KKS even more baffled as Chen Yuqin hissed out an annoyed breath at his glibness, pushing past him as she stormed off.

"Wait, you knew that was coming and yet you still let her hit you?"

"I deserved it and more."

Li Wei murmured absently as he gazed after the retreating figure of the furious girl. It was obvious by the loud stamping of her feet that her full-on Dino mode was activated, and this time, he was the cause for it. His lips twitched slightly in amusement at her childish display of anger. Apparently, everything she does seemed to make him smile.

He simply loved every single side of her.

Catching a glimpse of the enigmatic smile upon the younger man's face, KKS shook his head in puzzlement.

"I seriously don't understand the way you think."

Li Wei lips curled upwards even more at his words as he watched Chen Yuqin slam her way into the practice room.

"Welcome to the club, Ahjussi. I don't understand myself too."

His smile slipped as he turned around, the sight of the red marks on her neck flashing repeatedly in his mind. Impossible to miss – glaring crimson against her pale skin. Hickeys. He knew exactly who was responsible. A lump formed in his throat at the thought.

‘She was never yours, Leo, and never will be.’

His lips twisted in a sardonic smile. Protect and love from afar. That was all he'd ever been, always watching the love of his life fall for someone else. Never him.

Obviously, even after a year and a half, nothing had changed. He would still love her, in any way he could, even if it wasn't reciprocated. He simply couldn't help it

There was nobody else for him other than her, and he was resigned to the fact that he would love her forever.

‘Leo, you're a total sucker for torture.’

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